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Mixing Mormons and Martinis? Eeeek! Help!

CarlyAnneCCarlyAnneC member
First Comment
in Utah
So my fiance has a family that enjoys their liquor and my family is mostly strict LDS. I have no idea on what to do about drinks, I don't want my family to feel awkward or embarrassed if someone on his side gets sloshed  and I don't want to feel like a bad hostess for having no bar or a cash bar. Any suggestions on a solution?
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Re: Mixing Mormons and Martinis? Eeeek! Help!

  • i2012doi2012do member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I guess I'm the first to vote. and My vote is open bar.
    Its your wedding, and its about you and your fiance! Do you refrain from drinking? If not you should have there what you would offer at any other party/or event and what you would want to drink and what Fiance drinks.

    I am Catholic and from the East coast, half of my fiances family is Mormon and from Salt Lake.

    I'm not not accomodating to my mormom guests- as I am offering tons of non-alcoholic beverages including lemonade and iced tea, sodas, coffee, sprakling and flat water- and a special "pink lemonade" for the wedding... So why should I be unaccomodating to my other non-mormom guests? They prefer to have wine with dinner.

    If you are really concerned and have a bigger mormon population of guests (we have approx. 30 guests that are mormon out of our 130 person wedding)...then perhaps just offer wine on teh tables, and beer at the bar?

    Also, make sure there is an alternative for toasting!
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  • shannonloyshannonloy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I TOTALLY agree!

    I voted open bar because it's really shouldn't be up to them. The mormon families will think what they want about everything else in your wedding (why it's not in a temple, why your reception isn't in a church gym, why you're not wearing a "modest dress" etc) so forget about them! And just do what you want! It's your wedding and if you want to toast, and drink, and celebrate with your family then you should DO IT! :)

    My family is very mormon as well and when my sister had an open bar at her wedding-things were said. But things were also said about a TON of other things. Don't let other people dictate how you want to celebrate YOUR big day!
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  • CarlydlCarlydl
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you should have different selections for the entire range of your guests, LDS and non-LDS alike.  My FI's family isn't LDS, so we offered to have wine and champagne options with dinner (they declined, so we are having a dry wedding).  My whole family is LDS, but I didn't worry about them feeling uncomfortable or being judgmental because they understand that people live different lifestyles and that's okay!

    Host whatever kind of bar fits your budget and venue.  As for worrying about people getting sloshed, hopefully, since they are adults, they will know how to behave and know what their limit is.  If someone does get a little tipsy, then maybe talk to your venue coordinator about precautions.
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  • Katherine611Katherine611 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I think you should offer the bar that fits your budget!  My fiance's family is LDS, but my family is Catholic, and the majority of our guests are non Mormon.  We don't have a large budget, but we will be offering wine, beer and coffee for our non LDS guests, plus sodas and sparkling cider for those who don't wish to imbibe.

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  • tesstess7tesstess7
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My father's family is Mormon, and I am having an open bar. Like people have said, it's not their day, it is YOURS! :)
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  • LindsayA12LindsayA12
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My family is LDS and my FH's is not.  We are having a limited open bar with only beer and wine.  My hope is that it keeps the groomsmen from getting too sloshed without the option of shots!  We set a limit to how much we wanted to spend and then are switching to a cash bar when it's up.  Good Luck!
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  • ZurchersWeddingsZurchersWeddings
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think that if the Mormons really understand and practice their religion, they won't judge or be uncomfortable.  I think they should just deal with it.  The question is what are YOU comfortable with, and what are your FI's wishes.  It is your reception--it is your day.
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  • jackmatijackmati
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you should have whatever you're comfortable with. My fiance's entire family is active LDS while mine is not. But since I am an active LDS member, I will not have any alcohol at my reception. So have what you want. It's your wedding, not theirs.
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  • LaneyhenryLaneyhenry
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I need this help too! My family is non LDS, and so are a majorty of our friends. So I don't know if we should have an open bar or not. Because at this point, FI and I are paying for MOST of the wedding. I was thinking beer and wine as well... but we're not sure how much that would raise the cost.
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  • ginadogginadog member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've lived in Utah for 12 years now, but each of our families are from other states and not LDS obviously. 

    I plan to invite just one Mormon family - they have been my neighbors for the past 7 years and they are just super sweet nice people who I have enjoyed living next to. 

    I plan to have PLENTY of beer.  It'll be outdoors, casual, maybe put the beer in ice in one of those old timey galvanized bathtubs.  The family will be just fine.  Probably a little different than having LDS family. 

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  • kbunivkbuniv
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My family is LDS and FH is Catholic but we are having a cash bar if I could afford an open bar I would but budget doesn't allow it. I am paying for wine for the ceremony dinner, but the reception goers would drink me out of house and home
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  • jenniej121jenniej121
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My immediate family is very devout in the LDS faith, as are myself and the FH, but his family is not (they have all been baptized at some point, but only himeself and his grandma don't drink). I figure if his family can compromise and let us be married in the temple without any sort of complaint, I can let them drink beer and wine when they celebrate with us.  His family will pay for the alcohol, and there won't be any hard stuff so as to prevent the drinking from getting out of hand
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