Need Personal Advice

misschristinec · November 2010

My Company's Annual Sales Meeting is in January. It's a privilege to be invited. My boss and I were the only people from our New Jersey office to be invited.

Only bad thing.. the meeting is the week before my wedding!
I get married Saturday, Jan 15th with my Rehearsal being Friday the 14th evening.

We would travel on Sat. Jan 8th and I would say I need to leave Wednesday evening for me to get home by Thursday. The meeting is in the UK

What would you do? (FYI ,I am an ultra-driven person... this situation it truly agonizing)

akmackay · November 2010

If it was within the US- I'd say go for it. Considering it's in the UK (and it would kill me as well- all about making the right choices etc) I wouldn't trust it. What if something happens and you can't get on a flight? Not worth it. If it was in the US you could get on a train/car... not so much internationally. Sorry, but I think you need to skip it this year

Denise91980 · November 2010

I totally agree with Allie...Those few days before the wedding are so stressful that traveling abroad seems to me that would add so much more stress. I would consider it if it were in the Continental US, but overseas...not so much. I know myself and I was a ball of stress the whole week of the wedding.

akmackay · November 2010

I want to hear from those saying to go. Why do you think it's a good idea? What if there's another bombing and all flights are suspended? Would you REALLY go away and not come back until 2 days before YOUR wedding? I understand that it's for your career- but it's not somewhere that you could get back from if flights are cancelled for an extended amount of time.

gymchick05 · November 2010

I am very career driven as well so I totally understand how hard this would be. Few questions- is the meeting mostly to recognize/honor you? Do you get any perks for attending such as a bonus? Do you think the networking at the event will significantly enhance your career? If so, it may be worth it. If it is just to honor you, etc, I would prob skip it. Is there a way to attend but only stay thru that Tuesday? That way you can do a bit of networking, etc but not stress as much. Im sure people would understand since your wedding is that weekend.

Denise91980 · November 2010

Tell em Allie....I totally agree...Career is very important to me, but my sanity and family are more important. I am sure her boss would understand that her wedding is only 2 days after she gets back. It is an honor to be invited, but in the long run, it may not be worth the stress.

peaches85 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:c9dda597-d805-447c-b25d-8947300c96adPost:05e31921-5912-4660-a773-f27f7f9f9191">Re: Need Personal Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]I want to hear from those saying to go. Why do you think it's a good idea? What if there's another bombing and all flights are suspended? Would you REALLY go away and not come back until 2 days before YOUR wedding? I understand that it's for your career- but it's not somewhere that you could get back from if flights are cancelled for an extended amount of time.
Posted by akmackay[/QUOTE]
I was just thinking almost the exact same thing! Or what about some freak natural disaster/situation like the smoking volcano in Iceland back in April that grounded all flights in and out of most of Europe? I'm surprised so many people are saying she should go when I doubt many of them would actually do it themselves.

Laurms15 · November 2010

My wedding took place surrounding the volcano eruption. My uncle took the last flight out of Italy just before they closed those airports down but he was stuck here in the US for an extra week (2 weeks total) and he missed a lot of work. Additionally one of the girls on my month board got stuck in Europe on her honeymoon for almost an extra week because of the volcano and she couldn't get back to the US. Now on the upside my uncle got to spend a lot of extra time with our family and she got extra time in Germany but both of them missed work. I know it was a freak thing...but it happens.

misschristinec · November 2010

Funny thing.. I was one of those people stuck in Europe during the Volcano incident! I went for a 2 day business meeting in Basel, Switzerland and ended up being in the Switzerland for 10 full days.. certainly didn't haven enough clothes and did laundry many times (I brought home my Swiss-German Version of Woollite

peaches85 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:c9dda597-d805-447c-b25d-8947300c96adPost:70f147c4-758a-4651-9016-3d3e0a6e2224">Re: Need Personal Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]Funny thing.. I was one of those people stuck in Europe during the Volcano incident! I went for a 2 day business meeting in Basel, Switzerland and ended up being in the Switzerland for 10 full days.. certainly didn't haven enough clothes and did laundry many times (I brought home my Swiss-German Version of Woollite :)
Posted by misschristinec[/QUOTE]
Oh geez! Haha! That alone would have scarred me from even considering going on a trip to Europe right before my wedding! :-)

If you do wind up going, I'll keep my fingers crossed that no freak incidents occur, haha.

misschristinec · November 2010

I am not being recognized, but my position is changing and it will be noted that I am there.

I am looking at flight options for staying only a few days like gymchick suggested. I need to show my face.. I would also upgrade to business class personally, because I wouldn't want to be flying miserably in coach the week of my wedding.

kwilkinson14 · November 2010

I think I would go as I am also a really driven person at work. However, I have a little piece of mind b/c I do have a wedding planner. Not saying that this would take care of everything as far as worrying but it does give some peace of mind. She is going to be doing everything logistically that day anyway. But I do understand when the ladies say travel may get impaired and you can't get back. Somethings you can't control and that's one of them.

misschristinec · November 2010

My FI is against it... he thinks it's nuts that I'd be flying back out for our honeymoon on Monday to Hawaii...

I wish we had a Knottie G2G this week so I could talk to you all in person

uppereastgirl · November 2010

I too am surprised at all the yes responses. I won't go into the travel worries because others have (although I don't know that the chances of a freak volcano again are that much better than the chances of a lot of the freak stuff that could affect the wedding anyway if you stay behind in NJ), but I'd also be concerned about all of the wedding-related emergencies that can come up in the last week. The week before my wedding was crazy. There were only minor issues, but just getting all of the DIY stuff finished, getting everything to the venue and dealing with making sure all of the vendors and bridal party and family and such were all on the same page was kind of really stressful and full-time.

And missing one convention shouldn't have an impact on your career.

AllieCat16 · November 2010

i too am extremely career driven but i wouldn't take that risk. I had some major stuff go down at my job the week prior to my wedding, so bad i was about to cancel my honeymoon. my company did everything in their power to help me out of the situation i was put in because they didn't want me to always remember the week before my wedding as the week from hell because of work. i think your company would understand

is your boss invited to the wedding?

JerseyML · November 2010

I said you shouldn't go. If it were in the US and a storm kept you from flying back there would be other ways you could get home. If something happens and you are stuck in the UK there would be no way you could come home in time. And you have to think its just not about being in the UK. You know Jersey winters can be very freakish. A bad storm here could cause a mess for you over there.

cknud112 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:c9dda597-d805-447c-b25d-8947300c96adPost:5e9cb08b-b434-4ccd-b32d-d7088cbfe35d">Re: Need Personal Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]I too am surprised at all the yes responses. I won't go into the travel worries because others have (although I don't know that the chances of a freak volcano again are that much better than the chances of a lot of the freak stuff that could affect the wedding anyway if you stay behind in NJ), but I'd also be concerned about all of the wedding-related emergencies that can come up in the last week. The week before my wedding was crazy. There were only minor issues, but just getting all of the DIY stuff finished, getting everything to the venue and dealing with making sure all of the vendors and bridal party and family and such were all on the same page was kind of really stressful and full-time. And missing one convention shouldn't have an impact on your career.
Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

This exactly. The week leading up to my wedding was BUSY. I took off from work, it was very hectic.

justad0reme · November 2010

I say no as good as an opportunity as it may be your wedding is probably going to be one of the most important highlights of your life and you def need to enjoy and savor every moment of it...you do not need to add any additional stress on top of it. It seems as if you have gone on other business trips before so skipping this just one shouldn't hurt you...I'm sure your boss will be more than understanding.

ccandela · November 2010

Christine,
Don't do it. Seriously -- no one expects you to.

Catalina

alexirom · November 2010

I would be way too nervous about a snow storm to go anywhere at that time of the year. Just think about how you would feel if for some reason you couldn't get back in time for your wedding.

gymchick05 · November 2010

true--- when I posted I was forgetting you are getting married in the winter. You could watch the weather and make a last min decision, but the weather can be unpredictable at times. I would really have a heart to heart w/ your boss, explain how freaky things happen like how you were stuck in Europe last time and that if the date of the meeting was any other time, you would be there w/o a doubt, but this is your wedding and you cant change the date, and if it gets messed up you cant repeat it. What helps me sometimes w/ decisions like this is to sit down and make a list of all the pros and cons. You can even show this list to your boss if you feel comfortable..but considering the winter factor now as well, I think I might change my vote

Danes983 · November 2010

Have you spoken to your boss about this? I would run it passed them explain the situation and see what they think. If they say, you shouldnt miss this then I would go. If they say its really no big deal then I would skip. If you do skip ask your boss to tell the people who invited you your special circumstance so all is aware.

akmackay · November 2010

Still find it interesting there are so many "Go!" votes, and yet none of them posted why. (gymchick kind of did, but then changed her mind).

Christine- there will always be other conventions, but there hopefully will never be another wedding. Don't do it.

ksen820 · November 2010

I know i'm gonna get yelled at for saying this lol, but, I actually voted you should go.

I'm not a driven person at all, when it comes to work, but I also know that a wedding is nice but not as important to the rest of your life as your career. It would take careful planning, but you know ahead of time what the stakes are and can plan accordingly. The weather is the only thing that concerns me because we could have a storm and you'd be stuck, but if you opted to fly home early, you could check the weather, and worst case, you'd be stuck an extra day.

I don't think that last minute DIY stuff is important enough to lose out on this opportunity, especially since you can do this stuff earlier before you leave. I'm sure ur FI can handle some issues, and you can call and check in while you're away.

At the end of the day, it's just a wedding, your career is important to you, and you need to do what you think is best for your future.

ok.. commence w/ the disapproval :P

StefaniBel · November 2010

Please people don't yell at me. But I voted Christine should go.
I didn't get married yet, so I never had the experience of the last week before the wedding.. But I believe by the last week everything should be done. So a few days away shouldn't matter much.
About natural disaster...If you really want to be pessimistic, it could very well happen here in NJ. And you would have a wedding anyway. I remember one day I was coming home and the rain was really strong, so I decided to wait in the car to cross the street to go inside my house. What happened? I three fell on the car!!! The car was totally destroyed. The thee leafs were covering the car and the tree pulled the light poles, so there was no light (it was at night time). Nobody stopped to rescue me because they couldn't see the car under the leafs in the dark street. My cell phone had no battery. So I decided to start screaming to see if anyone would stop. Them finally a bus driver heard my scream and came under the tree to help me. Nothing happened me to me...thank God! But in conclusion... it was just a raining night, and I was in front of my house. You can't control things like this.
The thing I would worry the most it is your FI. He might think he is not important enough for you. That you think only about your carrier...things like that. That wouldn't be a good start for a marriage.
As long as you are organized, and your FI understands you... I think the trip won't interfere in your wedding day.

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