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Wedding Party
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Wedding Party

jrandall26jrandall26
in Wedding Party
Is it proper wedding etiqutte to ask other close friends to be in the wedding after others drop out?

My wedding is in 7 months and so far 3 bridesmaids have had to drop out due to money issues and a pregnancy.  I was wondering if it is wrong to ask a few other friends to be in the wedding now.
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Re: Wedding Party

  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    Sounds like you're replacing BMs.

    The answer is no.
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  • direy25direy25 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    What was the reason that these "close friends" weren't asked to be part of your WP in the first place?  And if you're only asking them so that you have even sides, don't do it.
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2010
    They'll feel like replacements, and that makes people feel bad, so I wouldn't suggest asking them.

    If they were really that important to you, you would've asked them in the first place, no? But even if it's a case of you genuinely feeling that you've only gotten close to them recently, they're still likely going to view a bridesmaid invitation as, "Why is she only asking me now that someone else has dropped out? Am I a replacement? Why didn't she ask me from the beginning?" Even if you don't mean it that way.
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  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c9189dc4-814c-4be0-9b6f-a042e62cc271Post:87d5789b-1936-4a31-b5aa-6906735a8e7c">Wedding Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it proper wedding etiqutte to ask other close friends to be in the wedding after others drop out? My wedding is in 7 months and so far 3 bridesmaids have had to drop out due to money issues and a pregnancy.  I was wondering if it is wrong to ask a few other friends to be in the wedding now.
    Posted by jrandall26[/QUOTE]
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  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    No, it is rude. To the people who dropped out it makes them look replaceable and to the new people it looks to them like they are just fillers. Basically, do not do it, it is too much of a risk with hurting someone's feelings.
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  • orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    Don't do it. Nobody wants to be replaced or be a replacement. You shouldn't have asked so early. You could have waited until 4 months out to ask.
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  • mkruparmkrupar member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:c9189dc4-814c-4be0-9b6f-a042e62cc271Post:b051978b-ce70-456d-8abb-35af33f6d8e2">Re: Wedding Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you had really wanted them in the wedding, you would have asked them in the first place. 
    Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

    This was my thought. If they weren't close enough for you to ask them the first time, then you shouldn't replace your BMs that dropped out with them. It makes the replaced BMs feel replaceable, and the 2nd BMs feel like the second round draft pick.

    I am curious as to what "financial struggles" your BMs are having? If you talk to them about a budget and stick to it they shouldn't have to drop out due to finances. Are you asking them to buy a $300 dress?
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