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North Carolina-Outer Banks
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Event home and family??

martinymartiny member
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in North Carolina-Outer Banks
My fi and i have rented our event home for a week and have both our parents and siblings staying with us with their significant others....
Should we entertain them everyday or should we just have them do there own thing for a couple of days? or should we have an itinerary for the week??

Help!!!
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Re: Event home and family??

  • Krhoy20Krhoy20
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We have invited my parents, brothers, grandparents, 2 aunts and cousins with us in our event home for the week. Although most are only staying 1/2 the week!!!
    We have no plans to entertain except for the wedding :) Not to be rude to them, but we just figured everyone would be hanging by the pool/beach during the day and then do your own things for dinner.
    Fi & I will have enough to get ready for, I don't want to worry about enteraining. it's my vacation, too. ha
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  • ldybug78ldybug78
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    we actually sent out a schedule so we could eat with our family and have alone time too since we are only there a week.  I didn't want anyone making assumptions that we will entertain all week.  We are having one day where we eat out with our parents, one day with all of our siblings, 2 nights alone, a cookout, and the wedding night. 
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  • sarahebrownsarahebrown member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I say do a little of both. You're at the beach, so maybe allow time just for beach fun, and then plan a few activities or meals together.
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  • boderbooboderboo
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    One thing that everyone has to consider is that there is usually only one kitchen.  So, who makes the coffee?   And breakfast? 

    My husband and I both love to cook but I do not think we need to be making all the meals.  Then again, I am not sure how to ask others to pitch in. 

    We will be having my 2 sisters, OBX's dad, dad's sister, favorite BM, OBX's sister-MOH, OBX's cousin.  A few of these will have their significant other coming the last half of the week.  Do you think it rude to ask about splitting up the meals?  BTW, we are hosting a "family get together" for all families one night.  And a seafood night courtesy of my son who lives on the island.
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  • llilleyllilley member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    We're filling our house with family and plan on splitting up the food costs except for a cook out the night before the wedding and the wedding.  As far as activities go, we'll have a few scheduled things (trip to aquarium, beach volleyball tournament, horseshoes tournament, etc) with the rest of the time largely unscheduled for pool/beach/hang out time.
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  • Scheff725Scheff725
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We travel to the OBX with a minimum of 24 people every year in one rental home, and we've learned the best way that works for us is we have everyone chip in a minimum amount for groceries for the week (usually $75) and we set up a menu beforehand. So for example, Sunday is Lasagna night (pre-made at home and frozen) and 4 people are responsible for cooking that night and clean up. Once you have your cooking/cleaning night your done for dinner. And everyone is on their own for bfast and lunch with the responsibility to clean up after themselves.

    This may be tough for a crowd that is not there the whole week, but its super organized and allows everyone to chip in so we aren't having one person or a few people doing all the cooking and cleaning all week. Plus, $75 for food and thats it! It goes into a pool and if we run out then someone takes some money and goes and gets what we need but that way we dont have to worry about groceries for the week!
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  • Valetta09Valetta09
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We haven't gotten very detailed with us- that being said in our event home we plan to have my parents, brother, Best man, myself and fiance in the house earlier in the week. Later on in the week the rest of the wedding party comes (they were invited but it works that way with their schedule).

    That being said- earlier in the week I planned more expensive activities, Jeep excursion on the 4x4 area, renting a boat on the sound for half a day, etc. This way we aren't at home everyday or at the beach everyday- we get some activities in that will interest the whole group and keep the daily pace changing to fit with our energy!

    Wed- is our day before wedding, I have planned a photographer to come do family portraits of his and my immediate families and then we will have the rehearsal.

    Thur- wedding

    Friday- chill day to break things down, beach with family who weren't here earlier in the week, etc.

    Saturday- check out and move on to honeymoon!

    Haven't considered the cooking- we have many in our immediate group who enjoy cooking, but we will also probably be keeping it simple with grilling out and beachy foods. It's something we enjoy doing together as a family so it works out. Costs on the otherhand...well my parents have assumed they will cover the groceries and we personally feel it is tacky to ask for grocery money when these people are traveling from 18+ hours away to be here. It is the least we can do to create a relaxing, affordable trip! Plus- we plan to stock up at costco, sams, etc before we head out.

    Goodluck! 
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  • Scheff725Scheff725
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Valetta- That was what I wasn't sure about with money when people are traveling for the wedding, obviously when we are all gong on vacation its different because its every person for themselves.

    I dont think we ill ask anyone to contribute for groceries, since we are inviting them to stay with us in our rental we will cover food for the week but since we have people who enjoy cooking as well, we will likely ask them to prepare their specialty on a certain day and we will cover all the costs. That way its spread out and people feel like they are in the spotlight because its their specialty! Thats just our idea though...
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  • Valetta09Valetta09
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Scheff, I hope you didn't feel attacked. I didn't mean any ill regard!
     
    Perhaps tacky was the wrong word to use! I just assume we will cover the costs, however- if the dynamics were different perhaps each family group would pay for a different night's meal, etc. As we have some family who are really struggling financially right now we just really wanted them to focus on getting here and then we can take care of the rest. We honestly were concerned that some wouldn't be able to afford to even get here, and have offered to help pay if needed- a delicate balance. While not breaking the budget/bank, we want to do everything we can to ensure a nice true vacation like feeling to the week for ourselves and guests.  I love love love your$ 75 per week grocery pot money and wish everyone could afford that!

    Have a wonderful day!
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  • Scheff725Scheff725
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No no no! I didn't at all! That was exactly my worry, we have been going for so long and we go with my family and close friends that I'm not sure how to deviate away from that! I didn't feel attacked at all, no worries :)

    We just have a system thats so tight because we have done it so many ways I'm curious how to deviate away from that and what all the other brides had planned to do. Particularly because we are renting atleast two houses with the possiblity of more because we wanted to cover all the costs of lodging for people. Its a delicate situtation particularly when half of your guests are seasoned OBX veterans! Any help is welcomed!
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  • Valetta09Valetta09
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I HAVE AN IDEA!

    Not that this will work for me and those staying at the big house, but we have also rented several other houses (when is your wedding? Mine is 5/24/12). In the information as we create documents to send to relatives staying at the other houses we could suggest they contribute X amount towards food if they would like to eat with us at dinner time, etc. Of course wording much different, would need time to think on that! Ohh, now I'm excited- guess I better go get things done!


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  • Scheff725Scheff725
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That is a great idea!!!!

    We are tentatively Sept 5th, 2012, but we are not 100% set on the date yet, so you will have to keep me posted on how you end up doing everything with your houses since we will most likely be after May!!
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  • keb2482keb2482
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    We do OBX almost every year for two weeks with friends and family all coming whenever they can.  My parents are always EXTREMELY generous in covering the entire cost of the rental home, so this is what we do:

    Everyone can go to the store and buy their own breakfast and lunch foods, with the understanding that these are to be shared.  Everyone needs to contribute something :o)  For dinners, each couple is responsible for one night of dinner for everyone in the house, at least.  This includes purchasing the materials, cooking, and cleaning.   Generally, I organize one dinner of steamed crab legs (sometimes up to 10-15lbs! depending on the number of people) ordered precooked from a local restaurant or supplier.    I get everyone eating the meal, except my parents, to split the cost.  This might not work for everyone else.  It works for us because no one of my friends or family has a problem contributing when they've already gotten a beach vacay for free ;o)  And I don't mind asking them for that reason!

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