Better Luck the Second time around...

LadyColeman · October 2010

So I've met the LOVE OF MY LIFE! his name is Justin and he truly melts my heart.. Everything in our life is just perfect right now! Everything but one thing.... I'm still Legally MARRIED

Yikes ::gasps from the crowd:: yes I know always tie up a loose end before a new begining but we couldnt help it.... I will be legally divorced in about a month or so. And Justin cannot stop talking about our future plans.. We have been friends for years... My Ex and I were together 10 years. Seperated last November and Justin and I started seeing eachother in January. He moved in in March and things have been great ever since!!!

I know he is going to pop the question anyday.. (Its all we talk about and he told a mutual friend he already has the exact date he is going to purpose!!!!! As excited as I am , I'm having a hard time adjusting to the way ppl look and speak to us when they find out we have only been together less then a year and are planning the rest of our lives....

So to get to my point of this thread... Have any ladies fallen right into a marriage out of a marriage and if so how do you deal with family concerns and pressures arrising from others that feel your "rushing to the punch line"?

I'm brand new to theknot!! But look forward to getting to know some of you!! On our quest for the BLING! lol

calindi · October 2010

I think the best way to deal with family concerns is to listen to them - they're telling you that you just had a seriously emotional experience, that you need time to heel, and that it seems rather soon. I rather agree - what's the rush?

My boyfriend had broken off an engagement about 6 months before we met, about 8 months before we started dating. Even then, I didn't want to date him because I felt it was still a recent wound for him. However, he had been in counseling to discuss what went wrong and what role he played in the break up (most of it was her, but it's never all just one sided - despite her sleeping with women and becoming addicted to cocaine). We would never think of getting engaged within a year of dating to begin with, let alone that he had just been out of a serious relationship. So I get that someone CAN be ready for another relationship after a breakup, but at the same time - why rush into marriage?

LadyColeman · October 2010

Marriage makes sense to me.. I'm a southern bell at heart who doesnt believe in sleeping around and wasting time in the market of looking for a mate. I loved being married but wasnt happy within my marriage. either was my spouse. we pretty much grew up together he moved into my familys home after dating for 2 years because of a very bad home situation so my mom sort of rasied us both. We are the best of friends now and honestly thats all my ex and I ever should have been. It was one of those things where we got together in 9th grade and dated all thru highschool we are all eachother ever really knew the love we felt was a friendship sort of love and although I wanted to always stand by my vows it just wasnt possible anymore. I know our situation is strange but I helped him move out and he is very happy in his new relationship... This sounds like something out of a bad west virginia red neck story but I assure you, were normal..lol

loves2shop4shoes · October 2010

Agree with Cate 100000% If he's the right one, he'll be the right one in a few years. Get some counseling and make sure you've healed from the first marriage. The only thing worse than one failed marriage is multiple failed marriages.

coastiegrl25 · October 2010

I'm with Calindi on this one..what's the rush? I have a friend who is in the same position. Her husband of 6 years left her for a 18 year old. She left went out and met a man that is now living with her, after they've only known each other for a VERY short period. Of course each situation is different as well are the people, but I know in fact that her new guy is one to rush into things...been engaged 3 times..the ILY within 2 weeks..so on and so forth. Not to say that this time it could be different but still.

Now my advice to her, I'm really glad she is happy now and that she found someone who is supportive of her and her kids. But there is NO NEED to rush things! You can love each other and be such a good couple without getting married. After everything is said and done it's only the smart thing to do!

I really hope this relationship works out for you, and conrats on finding someone that makes you happy. Just let yourselves be happy for awhile and enjoy the time together!!

LadyColeman · October 2010

Thanks ladies I appreciate your input!

calindi · October 2010

LadyColeman, I'm happy you've found someone who makes you happy. My response was more along the lines of that there is no harm in just dating for awhile. I'm not suggesting that you sleep around - keep dating the guy you're with, talk to a counselor to sort through this emotional change, and give it time. There's no reason you have to get married right now.

For me at least, if my family would raise concerns then it's probably something I should strongly consider. It would be so much easier, and much happier, to announce your engagement to them when they believe you're ready and when you've proven that your current relationship isn't a rebound (again, not saying that it is - just that there is NO HARM in waiting and just dating for a bit longer).

desertsun · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:3abb8ed7-92d2-44c3-9693-1325a018a255">Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE]So I've met the LOVE OF MY LIFE! his name is Justin and he truly melts my heart.. <strong>Everything in our life is just perfect right now!</strong> Everything but one thing.... I'm still Legally MARRIED :/ Yikes ::gasps from the crowd:: yes I know always tie up a loose end before a new begining but we couldnt help it.... I will be legally divorced in about a month or so. And Justin cannot stop talking about our future plans.. We have been friends for years... My Ex and I were together 10 years. Seperated last November and Justin and I started seeing eachother in January. He moved in in March and things have been great ever since!!! I know he is going to pop the question anyday.. (Its all we talk about and he told a mutual friend he already has the exact date he is going to <strong>purpose</strong>!!!!! As excited as I am , I'm having a hard time adjusting to the way ppl look and speak to us when they find out we have only been together less then a year and are planning the rest of our lives.... So to get to my point of this thread... Have any ladies fallen right into a marriage out of a marriage and if so <strong>how do you deal with family concerns and pressures arrising from others that feel your "rushing to the punch line"</strong>? I'm brand new to theknot!! But look forward to getting to know some of you!! On our quest for the BLING! lol :)
Posted by LadyColeman[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm sure you mean "propose" not "purpose," right? ;)</div><div>
</div><div>I think one of the best ways to deal with other people's doubts is to stop claiming everything is perfect.</div><div>
</div><div>No one lives in a fairy tale.</div><div>
</div><div>We all have problems, challenges, worries...don't pretend those things don't exist for you and your BF. it makes you seem a bit immature.</div><div>
</div><div>But you also don't have to share every detail.</div><div>
</div><div>You have to find a comfortable point between realism, being open, and respecting the privacy of your relationship. Some things should be between just the two of you.</div><div>
</div><div>One of those things is deciding what's best for you as a couple.</div><div>
</div><div>No one else gets to make those decisions for you.</div><div>
</div><div>You may have to deal with some skeptical looks, and I'd advise you to let that slide.</div><div>
</div><div>I'd also advise you to calmly and rationally consider concerns if they're brought to you in a respectful and constructive way, and not just a negative way with no suggestions how to address the concerns. Sometimes others can see things that we can't see, so you need to be able to listen and objectively assess whether someone has a point.</div><div>
</div><div>If it happens that you feel people are being negative without having anything constructive to offer, it's okay to let them know, calmly and respectfully, that you would appreciate them keeping their negativity to themselves.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

LadyColeman · October 2010

When I say my family is raising concerns it is concerns that others will think its taboo.. My immediate family is thrilled with our relationship... There chief "CONCERN" is not that we have been together a short time but that there is a race difference. And thats not really even an issue anymore. I think I phrased my question wrong. What I was asking is "how do I show others that have no insight into our relationship" that were making the right decision. If ive learned anything in life it is that love knows NO TIME. whether rushing or waiting forever Love is Love and when your certain its right its just right... As far as counsling.. I know its hard to believe but there no "emotional trauma" the trauma was being in a relationship that my ex and I both knew was for "show" for years.. when it came out that we were both having feelings of seperation we rejoyced at the idea of FINALLY finding love... We didnt curl in agony and despair over our failed marriage attempt to eachother.

coastiegrl25 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:fae2f5ad-1573-4749-b17a-04540c4ff3ac">Re: Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE]When I say my family is raising concerns it is concerns that others will think its taboo.. My immediate family is thrilled with our relationship... There chief "CONCERN" is not that we have been together a short time but that there is a race difference. And thats not really even an issue anymore. I think I phrased my question wrong. What I was asking is <strong>"how do I show others that have no insight into our relationship" that were making the right decision. </strong>If ive learned anything in life it is that love knows NO TIME. whether rushing or waiting forever Love is Love and when your certain its right its just right... As far as counsling.. I know its hard to believe but there no "emotional trauma" the trauma was being in a relationship that my ex and I both knew was for "show" for years.. when it came out that we were both having feelings of seperation we rejoyced at the idea of FINALLY finding love... We didnt curl in agony and despair over our failed marriage attempt to eachother.
Posted by LadyColeman[/QUOTE]

If they're not close enough to have insight on your relationship, then what does it matter? The ones who are may raise an eyebrow, but if your love is strong enough and it lasts (hopefully it does) then EVERYONE will be able to see it was the right decision in the end.

calindi · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:fae2f5ad-1573-4749-b17a-04540c4ff3ac">Re: Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE]When I say my family is raising concerns it is concerns that others will think its taboo.. My immediate family is thrilled with our relationship... <strong>There chief "CONCERN" is not that we have been together a short time but that there is a race difference</strong>. And thats not really even an issue anymore. I think I phrased my question wrong. What I was asking is "<strong>how do I show others that have no insight into our relationship" that were making the right decision</strong>. If ive learned anything in life it is that love knows NO TIME. whether rushing or waiting forever Love is Love and when your certain its right its just right... As far as counsling.. I know its hard to believe but there no "emotional trauma" the trauma was being in a relationship that my ex and I both knew was for "show" for years.. when it came out that we were both having feelings of seperation we rejoyced at the idea of FINALLY finding love... We didnt curl in agony and despair over our failed marriage attempt to eachother.
Posted by LadyColeman[/QUOTE]

1) I ignore people who have ignorant opinions. If someone is going to judge someone else based on race, religion, ethnicity, orientation, whatever, I can't be bothered to give their opinion any value. THAT's how you deal with those people.

2) Anyone who has no insight on your relationship is probably someone you don't care about. If someone who cares about you judges your relationship based on the color of your (or your BF's) skin, then I'd reconsider my relationship with someone so racist and ignorant.

Basically, the answer to both those things - ignore ignorant people. Their opinions don't matter, and you don't have to explain anything to them. Just remind yourself how pathetic that is, and laugh at them a little on the inside.

That said, I still feel there's no harm in waiting a bit. I'd give someone the side-eye for getting engaged within a year of divorce for sure, regardless of what their previous marriage was like.

AudgiePodge · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:b045fbc4-0054-4242-b42c-cf89e3b9e9cf">Re: Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Marriage makes sense to me.. I'm a southern bell at heart who doesnt believe in sleeping around and wasting time in the market of looking for a mate. I loved being married but wasnt happy within my marriage</strong>. either was my spouse. we pretty much grew up together he moved into my familys home after dating for 2 years because of a very bad home situation so my mom sort of rasied us both. We are the best of friends now and honestly thats all my ex and I ever should have been. It was one of those things where we got together in 9th grade and dated all thru highschool we are all eachother ever really knew the love we felt was a friendship sort of love and although I wanted to always stand by my vows it just wasnt possible anymore. I know our situation is strange but I helped him move out and he is very happy in his new relationship... This sounds like something out of a bad west virginia red neck story but I assure you, were normal..lol
Posted by LadyColeman[/QUOTE]

Maybe it's just me, but it seem like you just want to be married and not "waste time" looking for who may be right for you. I'd be in a whole lot of trouble if I thought about marrying everyone I was in a relationship with. By dating, I know what I like and look for in a potential husband and what I won't put up with and things to stay away from.

Roo726 · October 2010

I think it is important to tie up one loose end before starting another, but I can understand how a relationship can be over prior to it actually "ending".

The part that is unfortunate for your situation, is that if you had not had this previous marriage, no one would probably be questioning your decision. I mean, in a way, your boyfriend is being punished for something that happened in your life. What I mean by that, is he is a bystander to something that occured in your life but now has to face the judgement that comes along with that. My best friend had a similar situation where 3 weeks before her wedding, her FI backed out (turns out he was cheating) anyway, 1.5 years later, she was engaged to another guy after 8 months of dating. I had strong feelings of "oh no not this again". However, I soon realized that he LOVES HER. He wasn't there for this previous broken engagement therefore to him, this is all new, everything is good, etc etc. So when I explained that perogative to people I feel like it changed alot of minds. I hope that makes sense....but there are two people involved here and only 50% is your past.

I do agree it doesn't hurt to wait, or at least have a long engagement.

leia1979 · October 2010

I have to agree with Audgie. This statement makes no sense to me:
I'm a southern bell at heart who doesnt believe in sleeping around and wasting time in the market of looking for a mate.

I'm not saying you haven't found the right person or that you still need to look around, but why the rush from one marriage straight into another? I don't think waiting a little is the same as "wasting time." I don't believe in sleeping around, either, and I'll be getting married for the first time at the age of 31.

GreenPepperBurger · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:3abb8ed7-92d2-44c3-9693-1325a018a255">Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE]So I've met the LOVE OF MY LIFE! his name is Justin and he truly melts my heart.. Everything in our life is just perfect right now! Everything but one thing.... I'm still Legally MARRIED :/ Yikes ::gasps from the crowd:: yes I know always tie up a loose end before a new begining but we couldnt help it.... I will be legally divorced in about a month or so. And Justin cannot stop talking about our future plans.. We have been friends for years... My Ex and I were together 10 years. Seperated last November and Justin and I started seeing eachother in January. He moved in in March and things have been great ever since!!! I know he is going to pop the question anyday.. (Its all we talk about and he told a mutual friend he already has the exact date he is going to purpose!!!!! As excited as I am , I'm having a hard time adjusting to the way ppl look and speak to us when they find out we have only been together less then a year and are planning the rest of our lives.... So to get to my point of this thread... Have any ladies fallen right into a marriage out of a marriage and if so how do you deal with family concerns and pressures arrising from others that feel your "rushing to the punch line"? I'm brand new to theknot!! But look forward to getting to know some of you!! On our quest for the BLING! lol :)
Posted by LadyColeman[/QUOTE]

MUD. Please be MUD.

And yeah, everyone on here is just waiting for the "bling" because THAT'S the important part of an engagement/marriage. [/sarcasm]

heyimbren · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:cd389989-a630-4666-94ce-ae4a989abb6a">Re: Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE]I have to agree with Audgie. This statement makes no sense to me: I'm a southern bell at heart who doesnt believe in sleeping around and wasting time in the market of looking for a mate. I'm not saying you haven't found the right person or that you still need to look around, but why the rush from one marriage straight into another? I don't think waiting a little is the same as "wasting time." I don't believe in sleeping around, either, and I'll be getting married for the first time at the age of 31.
Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

I agree with Leia completely. OP, I'm not a southern belle, but I don't like sleeping around or dating boy to boy to boy. But I also recognize the value of waiting before getting married. I'm not questioning how in love you two are, but it does seem very sudden to go from one marriage right into another. Marriage is about more than love, or lack of love, which I'm sure you've figured out by now.

<u>You have nothing to lose by waiting.

</u>And okay, maybe I'm old fashioned, but I find it weird jumping to get engaged before you're even really divorced. Maybe I'm in the minority view, and I can understand a marriage being "over" before it's over on paper, I really don't get getting engaged before you're even divorced.

Also, GPB I'm glad you picked up on the "bling" comment at the end. I didn't want to be the only one.

calindi · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:3abb8ed7-92d2-44c3-9693-1325a018a255">Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE]As excited as I am , I'm having a<strong> hard time adjusting to the way ppl look and speak to us when they find out we have only been together less then a year</strong> and are planning the rest of our lives.... So to get to my point of this thread... Have any ladies fallen right into a marriage out of a marriage and if so <strong>how do you deal with family concerns and pressures arrising from others that feel your "rushing to the punch line"?</strong>
Posted by LadyColeman[/QUOTE]

Your whole response to me that you REALLY meant people were judging you as a biracial couple was also ridiculous, by the way. You clearly meant nothing about biraciality in this comment. And our responses stand - it sounds like you had a rather amicable break up and should be a fairly simple divorce. Which is great. And it sounds like you've met a great guy you care an awful lot about. Which is also great. Now this whole thing about being a "southern girl" who doesn't "sleep around" makes me think you just want to get married to have sex. You know what? Not a good reason to get married. If your family is concerned that you're rushing to the punch line, they aren't the only one. And I don't think you should disagree with them - I think you should prove to them that it's a strong relationship by waiting.

Roo726 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:cc7d66b3-d144-48f1-a02a-c663eb0f1a84">Re: Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Better Luck the Second time around... : MUD. Please be MUD. And yeah, everyone on here is just waiting for the "bling" because THAT'S the important part of an engagement/marriage. [/sarcasm]
Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

Yah, what is a quest for bling? Am I playing lord of the rings onlline? I am confused.

KD+BC · October 2010

::head desk::

They do say the third times the charm...

deburnin · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:99a00155-9a28-4ca7-ad53-46518f6f2d39">Re: Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Better Luck the Second time around... : Yah, what is a quest for bling? Am I playing lord of the rings onlline? I am confused.
Posted by Roo726[/QUOTE]

<div><a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '38fd269b-e909-4b5f-8140-fc7e0f8defb3', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/8/1/38fd269b-e909-4b5f-8140-fc7e0f8defb3.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>
</div><div>
</div><div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">Oh and why does everyone always say they're "not one for sleeping around" when people tell them to wait. Am I doing the waiting bit wrong or something??</div></div>

heyimbren · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:0145e8f5-b2a7-4383-a7c1-80daa936a282">Re: Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Better Luck the Second time around... : Oh and why does everyone always say they're "not one for sleeping around" when people tell them to wait. Am I doing the waiting bit wrong or something??
Posted by deburnin[/QUOTE]

You mean you don't sleep around, deb?? No new guy getting kicked out of bed every weekend?

Your relationship must not be valid then.

Roo726 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:3bd5cf5b-930f-473d-9b7d-b763edf8fcdb">Re: Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Better Luck the Second time around... : You mean you don't sleep around, deb?? No new guy getting kicked out of bed every weekend? Your relationship must not be valid then.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

Yah, sleeping around was so last year. I mean, I quit when I was like 24 I decided hooking myself out wasn't on the right path for the bling.

PaigeMcC · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:3bd5cf5b-930f-473d-9b7d-b763edf8fcdb">Re: Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Better Luck the Second time around... : You mean you don't sleep around, deb?? No new guy getting kicked out of bed every weekend? Your relationship must not be valid then.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

<div>There are already so many reasons why my relationship isn't valid. Now I have to add this to the list too? DAMMIT!</div>

calindi · October 2010

But seriously.... why do all these girls rushing into marriage take "you might consider waiting a bit before you get married" as "you should sleep with other men"?

*headdesk...desk.....desk....desk* (rubs forehead and goes to find an ice bag)

I don't care about your sex life! I don't care if you save yourself until marriage, have slept with a few dozen men before you met your boyfriend, even have an open relationship - I just don't care! I'm not suggeting you date other men, and I'm certainly not suggesting you sleep with other people before you get married.

Blue & White · October 2010

You've got to make your own mistakes (that's my new mantra.)

I can't tell you that getting proposed and married so soon is a bad idea. But I wouldn't do it. And not just so I could have sex with other guys. But because getting married includes entangling finances and children (potentially) and values. And most people don't start talking about their views on these issues on the first date. Tons of people get divorced over money issues all the time. You need some time to discuss them.

If someone proposed to me after 3 months, I'd:
a) laugh in their face
b) say no

If he was the right one, he'd still be around a few months/years later.

cruisebunny7 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_better-luck-second-time-around?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ff99c3cd-02ee-4eba-9ac5-b3b4521e6ce0Post:cd98b95d-07e2-414c-8897-bcb8d63763a3">Re: Better Luck the Second time around...</a>:
[QUOTE] If he was the right one, he'd still be around a few months/years later.
Posted by Blue & White[/QUOTE]

AMEN! We are in a somewhat similar situation, and know we are going to get married, but we are waiting awhile. I need to get my life back together after this divorce, he wants me to work with a therapist to make sure I am back to myself again. The last thing he wants to do is cause me more grief and stress. My BF wants me to focus on my life first then our future, we both know. I think you should just wait it out, get YOUR life in order first and then work on your future.

Better Luck the Second time around...

Re: Better Luck the Second time around...

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