Family Brunch AFTER Wedding?

gbeana1508 · January 2013

My Fiance really wants to do a brunch on the morning after the wedding. I have never, ever done this or heard of this? Is this a family tradition or is this a tradition I am just not familiar with? I have heard that this was common many years ago for buffet weddings, but we are plated and unable to take food home. Thoughts? Anything would be helpful!

Jen4948 · January 2013

For some people it's a tradition, for others, it's a nice extra.

It's not required, but a lot of times it gets done because many family members and friends have assembled from near and far to attend the wedding, and this is a way to extend the family reunion aspect of the wedding festivities.

JoanE2012 · January 2013

We hosted breakfast the following morning for anyone that stayed at the hotel. If we didn't have the hotel block and everyone went home after the wedding, we wouldn't have hosted anything the next day.

melb2013 · January 2013

I don't think it has anything to do with an "old tradition" or having a buffet vs. a plated meal. It's just something people do sometimes. I've heard of it often hosted by the bride's parents. I guess people do it to host OOT guests who had to stay over. In my family, some people even do it for Bar/Bat Mizvahs. It's not something you have to do. You can freely decide if you want to do it or not.

MobKaz · January 2013

We had an informal one after my daughter's wedding. It occurred because all the OOT guests were staying in the same hotel, and because the hotel offered complimentary breakfast. The bride and groom included a note in their OOT bags simply stating that they planned on going down to breakfast at XX:00 and hoped they could see them.

Every guest, regardless of age or "condition" , made a point of being there. It was a lot of fun.

Under other circumstances, however, such an "event" can quickly become expensive and/or awkward in terms of who receives an invitation. Another factor to consider is whether the bride and groom, or other designated family members, will have any "post wedding" responsibilities, and how that may factor into any "day after" plans.

For both my daughter and son's wedding, we needed to return to the venues to retrieve personal belongings, left-over decor, the top cake tier, and unused wine. Tuxes, and a car rental, also needed to be returned the next day as well. This doesn't prevent a brunch from happening, but these things definitely factor into your time factor.

To answer your question completely, however, IF setting up a brunch involved a lot of planning, organizing, and cost, we would not have done one. In our family and in our area, this has not been any type of tradition and/or expectation.

jessicabessica · January 2013

I think many people do it as a way to host your guests again and spend more time with them when they have traveled to your wedding from out of town. Even if they have not traveled, I could see it being a nice way to spend time with your family in a more relaxed setting.

It's totally not required, but if your FI wants to do it, I don't see why you wouldn't as long as you can afford it. And I don't think that plated versus buffet has anything to do with it--you wouldn't serve leftovers from the wedding for brunch, would you?

Avion22 · January 2013

We hosted an informal breakfast the morning after the wedding. Pretty much everyone was from OOT, so we thought it would be nice to host another opportunity for people to meet, mingle, and catch up with each other before checking out of the hotels and going their separate ways.

We reserved a conference room at the hotel that most people were staying at, and brought in bagels with a few different kinds of cream cheese, cinnamon rolls, fresh fruit, juice, and hot beverages. The overall cost was pretty low (maybe $100 for 60ish people). Everyone who was invited to the wedding was invited to the breakfast, whether or not they were staying in the hotel.

crystaldbl · January 2013

I've been to weddings where this was done. The only wedding that I actually attended the next day brunch was an out of town wedding that we stayed at the hotel for. They had it in the conference room of the hotel. It was nice to eat something before we got on the road to go home.

cwaggoner07 · January 2013

The wedding night we stayed in a hotel that had a popular brunch spot next door. We didn't host, but we spread by word of mouth that we would be eating there around 10am the next morning. I would say of our 150 total guests, 30 came. We didn't even have a room, they just broke us up at different tables in the same section. I wasn't up to plan anything, but it was a nice way to see some people the next day before they left town.

Lisa50 · January 2013

After my first wedding (1992), we had a family brunch at my parents' house. There were no leftovers served; everything was freshly prepared that morning. It gave us a chance to have a casual get together before the out-of-towners hit the road. I'm not so sure it is a wedding tradition as much as a family tradition -- any chance to fill the tummies before the crew hits the interstate!

libby2483 · January 2013

In my circle, it is common to do a gift opening brunch the next morning. We had a small gift opening brunch the next morning, but it was very informal and just held at the hotel where everyone stayed. We just told people through word of mouth, and didn't do invitations or anything. We also just served fruit, doughnuts, bagels, and muffins. We originally planned on having immediate family and grandparents there, but some wedding party members and extended family staying at the hotel asked about it, so we invited them as well. It was fun to see everyone the next morning before we left for the honeymoon.

2012FutureMrsB · January 2013

Heck no! When DH and I were planning our wedding, he mentioned the idea to me. I had never heard of it, but he was previously engaged to someone else and his ex apparently wanted to do this, so he thought it was normal. I was like, "um no, sweetie, I consider our honeymoon to officially start as soon as we leave the reception. Once we leave, we're GONE - as in no contact with family members after that, it's OUR time."

He totally agreed when I pointed that out and the issue never came up again. Some people do this tradition if they're not planning on leaving right away for their honeymoon and they want to spend time with family members (especially if a lot of family is from OOT), but for us, we wanted our first morning as husband and wife to only be shared between the two of us - it was a special time for us.

itzMS · January 2013

Seeing that you're from the Midwest, I will say that the gift opening brunch is still somewhat of an oldschool tradition around here.

I know you didn't say that FI wanted a gift opening specifically, but that might be what he's referring to. Everyone gets together at your parents' house, and eats/socializes. Inevitably, someone will ask you to open your gifts, even if you don't want to.

It's probably best to talk with both sets of parents as to what their expectations are for the morning after. In some families, the tradition of having a brunch/gift opening is incredibly important.

**Disclaimer** I in no way support gift openings, I just come from a traditional Midwestern circle, and that's what is expected here.

Jager1219 · January 2013

We are having one and many times it's offered to OOT guests (although not required). IMO, the nicest brunches I have been to have been hosted at the family's home (which is why it's often thought of as being hosted by the bride's parents because traditionally people would get married in the bride's hometown). It was very casual & they just had juice, coffee & pastries.
In my experiences, gifts have never been opened - it's just a way for everyone to say their congratulations & goodbyes to the couple.

zizibet · January 2013

These are a tradition in FI's family-they're very close, but are scattered, so extra time to hang out is appreciated.
We're doing one-a BBQ at FSIL's house.

musicalcanadianbride · January 2013

I know that my cousins (who are helping out with the International guests' arrangements) are planning on letting everyone know that they'll be having brunch at a nearby restaurant. Anyone who wishes to join them is welcome, but we're not actually hosting anything official. We figure that some people may want to sleep in, or check out early, or do touristy stuff...

Peledreamsofrain · January 2013

It wasn't tradition in our family, but I was very careful with the timing of everything to give us lots of time after the wedding so we wouldn't feel rushed to get to the airport.

All of the family pretty much stayed at the hotel the reception was at (as did we), so the next morning, my parents texted me and asked if I would like to join them for breakfast/brunch. It was SO nice! We ate at the hotel restaurant, and relaxed with just them, 3 close friends, and an aunt and uncle. I'm so happy it worked out that way, it was lovely to relax with them after the frantic activity of the previous two days.

Then we had plenty of time to hit the airport by 1pm and it was off to our honeymoon! Perfection.

erinlin25 · January 2013

I voted yes, but not because its a tradition per say, but it is common in many social circles so I am not surprised when people do this. We are having a day after brunch as well. OOT family and the wedding party are invited. More so with majority of family lives on the east coast (we are on the west coast) so as other pp's suggested its used as extended family time. Most of the time the brunch is hosted (ours will be) but I have also been to weddings where it was not "hosted" but the option was there for anyone interested to join.

poodlemom13 · January 2013

We are hosting it at the rental house and plan to have some family help by bringing easy brunch items and I'll prepare some food the week before and just throw it in the oven that day. I like the idea of seeing everyone again (OOT guests and close friends) before the weekend is officially over.

miranda holly · February 2013

Since our wedding is over the Easter weekend, and every single guest is OOT, we are hosting an informal lunch/afternoon get together for any family/friends that want to drop by. It's more casual, with leftover booze from the wedding, along with food and snacks cooked in our rented chalet. It's not a tradition in our families, however, I felt it important to treat our special friends and family to more time with us

We are also not rushing out on our honeymoon, so we have a couple days to hang out.

I think it's a great idea if you can plan it/afford it/and want it. We live far away from all our family, and see them maybe once a year if we're lucky. We wanted to spend more time with them. If you can't manage it, or don't want it, I wouldn't worry. I don't think it's expected of many weddings, unless it's already been implied. You are responsible for hosting your guests on your wedding day. the next day is just a bonus if you do.

JoseD12 · February 2013

With a friends' wedding last year she had a brunch the next day to visit with some of her closer family/friends with left overs, opened some gifts and did some final cleaning. It wasn't necessary but it was a nice gathering.

mvance3 · February 2013

What we're doing is VERY low key. It's mainly for immediate family so we can get help opening gifts and keeping track of who sent them and also to unwind a little and enjoy each other's company. As far as food goes, we're probably just going to do some muffins and fresh fruit....and LOTS of coffee lol!

Ella and Pedro · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_family-brunch-after-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:84d1cf36-2205-4e5f-8266-8faaf3255fb8Post:48024080-659f-456f-ba3e-b998e1059984">Re: Family Brunch AFTER Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]We hosted an informal breakfast the morning after the wedding. Pretty much everyone was from OOT, so we thought it would be nice to host another opportunity for people to meet, mingle, and catch up with each other before checking out of the hotels and going their separate ways. We reserved a conference room at the hotel that most people were staying at, and brought in bagels with a few different kinds of cream cheese, cinnamon rolls, fresh fruit, juice, and hot beverages. The overall cost was pretty low (maybe $100 for 60ish people). Everyone who was invited to the wedding was invited to the breakfast, whether or not they were staying in the hotel.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

That's a good idea - reserving a conference room. How much did you pay for that? Frankly, it had seemed out of our budget to manage a day-after brunch but we're also having about 80 people come from all over the U.S., so it is nice to think we could have this kind of informal 'thank you' brunch, if we did decide we'd like to.

My fiance has been saying he wants the moment when we leave the reception to be the last people see of us, as we're doing a mini-honeymoon and he's generally a fairly shy, borderline antisocial guy - so the weekend is way more socializing than he tends to prefer. What we might do (if we can afford it and he agrees we should) is have a 2 hour brunch/drop-in thing, THEN begin our 48 hour honeymoon. Part of our hesitation was also the blended family issue that I am sure many people have - i.e. my mom does not at all like my stepmother.

Any other thoughts on the 'conference room' brunch idea, Knotties?

Family Brunch AFTER Wedding?

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