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Pastor/Counseling Issues

ashs217ashs217 member
First Comment
in Christian Weddings
We spoke with a pastor at our church in August (right after we got engaged) to figure out which pastor could marry us and what counseling would be needed.  We completed a counseling test thing right away, but now it is January and we have yet to begin counseling, and we still don't know which pastor will marry us/if any even will.  Our wedding is in July, and I am just wondering if I should keep waiting on this church that we have been going to, or if we should begin looking elsewhere.  Thanks!
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Re: Pastor/Counseling Issues

  • Ash61612Ash61612 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Is there someone you can call or ask at the church? I wouldn't give up all hope yet if you like the pastors at this church.
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  • RebeccaJacRebeccaJac
    100 Comments
    I would call and ask. You can't really expect a pastor to have you on the top of his "to-do" list with the millions of things that need to get done every week. I would assume he just lost it in the shuffle. Call and confirm and then start looking for another pastor if he says he can't.
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  • drama1308drama1308
    500 Comments
    ditto pps call the church. From my experience, pastors are really busy and sometimes forget about weddings and such. Or, maybe the pastor wanted to wait until closer to the wedding to begin counseling. 
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  • mrandmrsbristmrandmrsbrist member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    What everyone else said. Call the church and let them know that the wedding is coming up and you'd like to begin the counseling.
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  • RyansBelovedBrideRyansBelovedBride member
    500 Comments
    I agree, call the church. It also may be standard not to start until like three or four months before the wedding, who knows? But call and let them know your concern and I'm sure they'll either clarify or go "ohhhh yeah, that's riiight... how's next Tuesday?"

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  • MelissaC315MelissaC315 member
    100 Comments
    Ditto all the other PPs. I know the pastor at my church is a busyyyy man and he tries to remember everything but it's impossible between conferences, planning sermons, all the bible study groups, etc. Not to mention there are a couple hundred weddings a year there. I would just call and ask and remind him.
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  • FaithCaitlinFaithCaitlin member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    What the girls said! I'd just call. No worries!

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  • ElisabethJoanneElisabethJoanne member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    Call, or e-mail. I know my pastors would think "August. Summer. Nothing serious gets done while school is out." Then they'd think, "Thanksgiving. Advent. Christmas. No time for weddings." We've pushed our pastor to schedule some counselling meetings right around now 'cause I have time off work and won't closer to the wedding, but he'd have been content to wait several months if we hadn't pushed.
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  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    We didn't have our counseling until a few months before the wedding.  But it is weird that you already took the inventory and haven't heard anything.  It's possible that the pastors haven't decided on their summer vacation plans yet and so they don't know for sure which one(s) will be in town for your wedding.  

    I think if you go to the pastor you originally talked to and ask him when you will be going over the results of the inventory and when they will know who will be doing the counseling and the wedding.  If he isn't sure, ask him when he will know and explain that you'd like to have this detail determined within the next week or two so that if it doesn't work out, you can find someone else.

    GL!!

    P.S. Welcome to the board!  Hope everything else with your planning is going smoothly.
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  • ashs217ashs217 member
    First Comment
    That's the thing, we've been in contact and they keep saying counseling will begin soon, and we have yet to be contacted by the couple we are supposedly paired with. The pastor we originally asked has met with us a few times, but he can't marry us, the pastor who can hasn't contacted us, and the guy who can't marry us wants to meet with us again now. I just don't get why nothing real hasn't really happened. Any time we do meet, all we talk about is how my fiancé and I live together ( we don't really have many other options). I just feel like we keep running into problems with the church. They said counseling would start around the six month mark, but they've also been telling is for at least a month that it would start.
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