Maybe a dumb question...

amyl9 · February 2012

FI and I both have large families that are scattered across the state and the country that are invited to the wedding. We know that some may not be able to make the trip home to attend, but since they are close family (brothers/sisters/aunts/uncles/first cousins) and we would like to see them there we are extending invitations to them on the off-chance they MIGHT be able to come.

With that being said, how do you handle things like bridal shower and/or bachelorette party invitations? Being that most out-of-towners will likely NOT make it even to the wedding, it's safe to say that they also won't be able to attend a shower or other party. My feeling is that an invitation should still be extended, if nothing more than to show that we would like for them to attend and are thinking of them. My sister seems to think it's pointless.

What's the "proper" way to handle it? TIA

kelsey+brandon · February 2012

I completely agree with you. I have some family that I know won't be able to come to my shower because of the distance, but I'm still inviting them. I think this is an "it's the thought that counts" situation. They know you know they won't be able to make it, but I'm sure they'll feel good to know you wanted to include them and keep them informed of wedding events.

Rethany · February 2012

A large majority of FI's mother's family is out of town. They will most likely come to the wedding, but I doubt many of them will come to the shower.
Regardless, I am still extending invitations to them for the shower. That way they know that I would have loved to have them there, but will completely understand if they are unable to make it.

I look at it this way, if they lived in my town, I would extend an invitation to them because I want them there, just because they live out of town and their chances of coming are slim doesn't mean I want them at my shower any less.

DrPB2b13 · February 2012

Agree with PPs, my aunts and cousins in Michigan will never be able to make it to my shower, but I've asked my BMs to extend them invitations anyway, because I will be thinking of them. And who knows - some miracle might happen and they could be able to come anyway

amyl9 · February 2012

That's what I thought. Thanks ladies.

calisel · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_maybe-a-dumb-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a05bb647-c620-49b6-bc12-a597bba7c9c0Post:e9daf40d-1925-4072-bdbd-0baa931add34">Maybe a dumb question...</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I both have large families that are scattered across the state and the country that are invited to the wedding. We know that some may not be able to make the trip home to attend, but since they are close family (brothers/sisters/aunts/uncles/first cousins) and we would like to see them there we are extending invitations to them on the off-chance they MIGHT be able to come. With that being said, how do you handle things like bridal shower and/or bachelorette party invitations? Being that most out-of-towners will likely NOT make it even to the wedding, it's safe to say that they also won't be able to attend a shower or other party. My feeling is that an invitation should still be extended, if nothing more than to show that we would like for them to attend and are thinking of them. My sister seems to think it's pointless. What's the "proper" way to handle it? TIA
Posted by amyl9[/QUOTE]

We also have quite a bit of family from out of town and State. We have sent them invitations regardless of the fact that they are or are not able to make it. I guess you would call it a courtesy. I am sure you would want them to invite you, if the shoe was on the other foot. The only thing I am not too sure about is the bachelorette party. I only invited those who are local...

MMRoberts11 · February 2012

I'm late but I just wanted to say I agree with PP in it's the thought that counts and who knows, they may be able to come.

Carebear62584 · February 2012

I wasn't sure about the shower either, but my mom said not to invite anyone from out of state unless we were close with them. For example, I invited my friend from NY because I was one of her BM's in December and I definitely feel like she would come. I didn't invite relatives in Texas to the shower that MAY come to the wedding because it is close to 4th of July. My mom/aunt/MOH said it's greedy and seems like you are only inviting them for a gift since you know for sure they won't be coming.

My only exception to above is my best friend got a shower invite because she is a BM and lives in California so we definitely had to include her even though we know she can't make it.

ETA: The people I didn't invite are my parents' cousins and I couldn't pick them out of a crowd.

Hilraythebride · February 2012

I would def send them wedding invites even if they said they can't come you never know, plans can change.

As for the shower I would talk to whomever is coordinating it and figure out how many people you my invite, that way on the off chance they do come you won't be over that number. I would still extend them a shower invite too its pretty much just saying I want you to come, and it is a nice feeling for them to have that.

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