Ceremony without a reception?

PiperD77 · January 2012

My fiance and i are getting married in April. we've been trying to figure out the best ceremony place. we wanted the wedding to be very small (immediate family only) since we are the ones paying for everything. we were going to send announcements with a reception party to follow in July. well, we found a venue! it's a historic theater in my hometown. it would be the same price for 8 people as it would be for 100.

so my question is this: can we invite people to the wedding in April and not have a reception till July?

crash2729 · January 2012

A reception is a Thank you to your guests for attending your wedding. If I was you I would try to at least host cake and punch at the church in April.

skippylouwho · January 2012

Just do cake and punch immediately following the wedding. Just don't have your wedding at what would be considered a meal time when people might expect a meal. You can do cookies and punch if it's cheaper. Your cake (or cupcakes or cookies) don't have to be made by a professional. Also remember that grocery stores and club stores like Sam's do great cakes and are cheaper. Possibly have a 2 layer "wedding" cake and sheet cakes from Sam's for your guests.

nhahn2206 · January 2012

Why don't you just get married in July? Or use the reception venue you found in April? I'm confused about why these have to be two completely separate events.

Irishcurls · January 2012

Yeah, ditto nhan. If the venue is available in April and the same price regardless, why is July even a consideration anymore? Just have the wedding and reception in April. Or flip that and just get married in July.

Mrs.B6302007 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e257654-71c6-455c-8ec5-ae2af7195643Post:75f6840b-aa13-4c20-b953-aee5d74366c0">Ceremony without a reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and i are getting married in April. we've been trying to figure out the best ceremony place. we wanted the wedding to be very small (immediate family only) since we are the ones paying for everything. we were going to send announcements with a reception party to follow in July. well, we found a venue! it's a historic theater in my hometown. it would be the same price for 8 people as it would be for 100. so my question is this: can we invite people to the wedding in April and not have a reception till July?
Posted by PiperD77[/QUOTE]
The reception IS the expensive part so why are you having a big party? If you can afford to pay for a big party several months after the ceremony, then you can afford to pay for the reception after the ceremony in April. Or, move the ceremony to the summer also. THey need to be on the same day.

Snippylynn · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e257654-71c6-455c-8ec5-ae2af7195643Post:92288279-7b60-4a7d-960c-c1dbeaa40567">Re: Ceremony without a reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Ceremony without a reception? : The reception IS the expensive part so why are you having a big party? If you can afford to pay for a big party several months after the ceremony, then you can afford to pay for the reception after the ceremony in April. Or, move the ceremony to the summer also. THey need to be on the same day.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]
The B is wise. You should listen to her.

Loopyseven · January 2012

I too want to know the reason for separating the ceremony from the reception.

And B and Crf gave good answers above so I won't retype them.

ginadog · January 2012

I say call it a celebration party for your July shindig, but don't reenact any wedding stuff (vows, ring exchange, bridesmaids, etc). Cake cutting and toast would be OK. Don't rewear your gown however.

Do host your family to dinner or dessert right after your April wedding though.

mkrupar · January 2012

I'm totally confused. If you've found a ceremony location that will hold 100 people and that's around the number of people you would want at your party in July why not have the Ceremony in July before the reception or the reception in April after the ceremony. I really don't understand your thinking on this. And ditto B. The reception is the expensive part, so throwing a big party doesn't make sense to me in the "saving money" department.

Goldlie11 · January 2012

It's a really bad idea and it seems like you are over complicating things. Lot's of people pay for their own wedding. Pay for the wedding that you can afford. If you are low on funds, have a very small ceremony wedding. Take those people out for lunch or brunch. Then you are finished. Even here in super expensive NYC, I can think of places I can have a small brunch for around $25pp. It can be done.

Avion22 · January 2012

I just wanted to add that you can have reception for 100 people on a pretty small budget. You can do a backyard bbq, order pizzas, do cake and punch, etc. Depending on your budget, you might even be able to have a more formal reception, if that's what you want. The Budget Brides board is your friend!

That way you could do both on the same day (whether in April or in July).

Mrs.B6302007 · January 2012

OP, do you realize by doing this your way, you will actually be feeding some of your people twice? The family after the ceremony and then them again along with everyone else in July.

SparrowSong · January 2012

I don't understand either. The ceremony is the cheap part. The reception is what costs a lot of money. So if you don't want to spend a lot of money, just keep it small and forget the whole July thing.

wrdgirl · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e257654-71c6-455c-8ec5-ae2af7195643Post:4e304531-d755-4656-b514-355d0dab8f05">Re: Ceremony without a reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]You cannot have a ceremony with guests unless you also have a reception afterwards for those guests. It can be cake and punch or pizza and beer. You must host something. This is your wedding reception. You cannot have a wedding reception on any day other than your wedding day. You can have a party anytime, though.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

<div>Seriously, who set these rules? We're not in the medieval ages any more, certain things don't HAVE to be done a certain way.</div><div>
</div><div>Honestly OP, if it's ok in your circle then do it, for whatever reason you want. You want 2 weddings, 3 receptions, then so be it. Every couple has a reason to do certain things.</div><div>
</div><div>But exaggeration aside, honestly this would be the wrong board to ask if something like this out-of-ordinary is going to be considered. I would go and ask your friends and family if they care about your plans, not some stranger who is only going to tell you what is considered the "norm".</div><div>
</div><div>FYI, I had 2 wedding ceremonies and 2 wedding receptions because of the way things are for me, I had to plan it that way but my reason is none of anyone's business and at the end of the day everyone's happy and no one cared. I also know of someone who had one JP ceremony and is planning on having a full-fledged wedding later on because things had to be that way for them and their friends and family are happy.</div><div>
</div><div>Good luck and do what's best for you! :) </div>

banana468 · January 2012

Wrdgirl, have you ever READ up on the finer points of etiquette?

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