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Unity candle/sand ceremony necessary?

beckyh77beckyh77 member
100 Comments
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
We will be getting married in an ELCA church. I Have a hard time with spending money on a candle set or the sand vase things because what are you gonna do with them afterwards??? Would it be weird if we didn't have this tradition in our ceremony?
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Re: Unity candle/sand ceremony necessary?

  • NOLAbridealmostNOLAbridealmost member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    We didn't have a "unity" ceremony.  It wasn't weird at all.  
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    Fatty Blog
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    The wedding ceremony IS a unity ceremony -- you give your intent, say vows, and exchange symbols of your love in front of your friends and family.  Can't get much more "unity" than that, if you ask me.   Some religious officiants actually refuse to perform extra "unity" ceremonies because they have no basis in the texts or traditions of their religion.

    If you are worried about your ceremony being to short -- stop worrying:-)   You can add some readings if you would like, but most ceremonies are 10-15 minutes long, and that's just fine.  
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  • beckyh77beckyh77 member
    100 Comments
    I guess we'll see what the pastor says but I am perfectly ok with skipping that part altogether. We have a soloist and likely a reading or two.
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  • naomikbnaomikb member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    No, they aren't necessary.

    If you wanted to do the ceremony but not spend money you could ask the church if they have some extra candles that you could borrow and then give back at the end.  It means you wouldn't have a "souvenir" to take home but if you only burn them for 10 minutes it's not like they'll lose much wax.  It's likely the church has many half-burnt candles around.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Those ceremonies are not at all necessary.  Vows are the core of the wedding ceremony, in my opinion.  The rest is just "fluff" and, usually, a way for someone to make another buck off the happy couple.  We did not have any symbolic ceremonies, other than the ring exchange, and we're legally married.  ;)
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  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I prefer weddings without these anyway.
    Lizzie
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    Definitely not necessary, we're not doing either because that just didn't sound like "us."  We decidede to sign the marriage license as our unifying part of the ceremony or whatever you should call it, but definitely feel free to skip it!
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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    You don't need to do one.  The wedding itself it a unity ceremony.  If you want to do one but not spend a lot, get three vases or jars from a dollar store and use colored water.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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