Bedeken question

brewerstacie · December 2010

My fiance and I are having a Conservative ceremony and are debating whether or not to have a bedeken. Is there a way to do a modified bedeken as opposed to the traditional Orthodox one?

Shoshie · December 2010

I had a bedecken -- our ceremony was more Reform/Reconstructionist -- with hints of traditional.

After we signed the Ketubbah, my DH lowered my veil. It was very simple.

Are you thinking of the kabbalat panim ?

october010bride · December 2010

We had a conservative ceremony (or just traditional?) and did the same bedeken as shoshie.

After we signed the ketubah, my H read a few prayers and just lowered the veil. It was infront of our immediate family and one of my favorite parts of the day.

dancingqueen123x · December 2010

a friend of mine had the bedeken while walking towards chuppah. her chossen met her halfway and did it then walked back to stand under chuppah. I am also debating how i want to do it, but i feel like that part of ceremony is more spiritual than any other.

Mazel tov!

alinaandjared · December 2010

Are you thinking of a Kabbalat Panim? The bedeken is the lowering of the veil, really not sure how one can modify that, or whether that is debatable/up for discussion with. a conservative ceremony

brewerstacie · December 2010

Dancingqueen - I really like that idea. I talked to my fiance and he really liked it also. I think that that is a nice compromise and that way he can see me for the first time as I walk down the aisle. Thanks for the idea!!!!

october010bride · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_bedeken-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:399Discussion:4ab8f961-41e3-491c-a510-a0454ee596b2Post:d13e9db5-48ed-4a54-acfa-4b5f4de7a9b3">Re: Bedeken question</a>:
[QUOTE]Dancingqueen - I really like that idea. I talked to my fiance and he really liked it also. I think that that is a nice compromise and that way he can see me for the first time as I walk down the aisle. Thanks for the idea!!!!
Posted by brewerstacie[/QUOTE]

That's an interesting idea but how would you sign the ketubah, under the chuppah? I only ask because for our Conservative wedding the rabbi said the ketubah must be signed before we entered the chuppah... not sure if that is just him or not though.

brewerstacie · January 2011

I'm not going to sign the ketubah until after our ceremony, probably in the yichid room...My fiance is going to sign it in a small ceremony without me before the ceremony, which is what our rabbi said to do.

vlevitt · January 2011

we each had a tisch then a bedekken in front of all our guests before proceeding to the chuppah. DH was escorted to my room where the rabbi said a few prayers and spoke about the meaning of the veil and about the wedding ceremony in general. then we signed the ketuba and civil doc. after that i placed a kippah on DH's head before he lowered my veil. for me, this was one of the most beautiful and spiritual parts of the day.

reebsreebs · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_bedeken-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:399Discussion:4ab8f961-41e3-491c-a510-a0454ee596b2Post:ef5f5140-d0ba-4971-b270-173e301f0a05">Re: Bedeken question</a>:
[QUOTE]we each had a tisch then a bedekken in front of all our guests before proceeding to the chuppah. DH was escorted to my room where the rabbi said a few prayers and spoke about the meaning of the veil and about the wedding ceremony in general. then we signed the ketuba and civil doc. after that <strong>i placed a kippah on DH's head</strong> before he lowered my veil. for me, this was one of the most beautiful and spiritual parts of the day.
Posted by vlevitt[/QUOTE]

Was he already wearing one and you switched, or had he not worn one for the tisch? I'd love to do this, but my FI will be wearing a kippah during the tish.

masteraleph · January 2011

" I only ask because for our Conservative wedding the rabbi said the ketubah must be signed before we entered the chuppah... not sure if that is just him or not though. "

It's mostly him. Sephardim (of all levels of observance) have their ketubot signed under the chuppah. Ashkenazim typically sign it before, but it's certainly not unprecedented to sign it during.

pjudef · July 2013

Hi, We were married Orthodox-style - and I gotta say - the most spiritual, tearful, loving moment of an Orthodox wedding is when the Groom walks into the room with his father and father-in-law and sees his beautiful bride for the first time. It's such a beautiful moment when he whispers to her and then puts the veil on. Makes me cry every time.

pjudef · July 2013

BTW - the significance of the bedeken ceremony from what I learned is that the Groom is basically saying that it doesn't matter what the Bride looks like - he will marry her not for her physical beauty but for her beauty within.

lb4857a · August 2013

I would love to get as many opinions on this please:) I love the thought of having a bedeken, however, my family is not very familiar with them and neither is my fiance's. We have a few religious family members of his coming in for the wedding who are familiar with them. I am torn on whether to have one or not. I didn't want our families standing around looking clueless. I thought maybe we could have a member of our band (who will play during the reception) come in with a horn or sax and play Od Yishama, the traditional song played during a bedeken and hopefully people would get into the tun and clap as we walked in. Ahh, so torn. What to do?? Please!

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