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Small Guest list- Big family

Hi out there,
 So my future husband and I have selected a venue that fits 120 max. We both have big families and also lots of friends that we would want at the wedding. Of course there are those that should be invited...any suggestions on how to plan a wedding with a small guest list without stepping on too many toes?

I'm just curious how others decided on who to invite and who to leave off. We are paying for the wedding outselves for the most part so I know that it means we mostly get to decide...right?

Eva

Re: Small Guest list- Big family

  • kaitlyn20kaitlyn20 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    well if any one asks just say you had a budget and you wish you could invite everyone but hope that they understand how hard it was not to have evry one you love and care about...they will understand

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  • ring_popring_pop member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did our guest list in waves and groups.

    For families - all immediate family and aunts, uncles and first cousins went on the guest list right away. We also added a group of DH's second cousins to whom he's quite close.

    Then for friends, we considered groups. Because I did my MBA and DH is currently working on his PhD, we had several groups of friends - high school, university, grad school for both of us, plus church/choir friends. Luckily for us, each group fit rather neatly into a table of 10 (more or less). At times when we had to consider cutting the list, we would have cut entire groups.

    We ended up with 160 guests - half family, half friends.

    Finally, avoid talking about the wedding to too many people... people tend to assume they're invited if they hear a lot about your wedding.

    Good luck! I found the guest list to be the hardest part. But in the end don't worry too much about offending people if they're not invited. People will understand, and if they don't... then they're not really your friends anyway.
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  • nfp147nfp147 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We cut off our family side of the guest list at cousins.  We only have 85 attending and the cousins would have put us at about 115.
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  • edited December 2011
    NFP...I feel your pain. 

    My family is HUGE and if I include all three sides of my family plus my FI's family it would be over 350.  By keeping it just to immediate family and aunts/uncles along with some close friends we are hoping to keep the guest list around 75.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks guys, it's good to know that everyone has similar stratigies. 120 people seems like a lot until you get to family and friends.

    I agree that this will be the hardest part. Out first crack at it was relativly painless, I will just have to keep at it.

    Did any of you invite more counting on 10% not being able to come? or rank people and then when people decline invite the number 2's on the list?
  • edited December 2011
    Eva, we are planning for May 2011 and haven't sent out any invites yet.  I am hoping to hand deliver a lot of them over Christmas and mail the rest in January.  Since most of our guests live out of province I am thinking it will be 75 invited and 50 will actually attend but you never know with my family.  :)
  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada_small-guest-list-big-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:46Discussion:4a0ff313-28a0-41e3-905a-e05414c966a4Post:74adec71-d57d-4542-b3ce-0637e7099b36">Re: Small Guest list- Big family</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks guys, it's good to know that everyone has similar stratigies. 120 people seems like a lot until you get to family and friends. I agree that this will be the hardest part. Out first crack at it was relativly painless, I will just have to keep at it. Did any of you invite more counting on 10% not being able to come? <strong>or rank people and then when people decline invite the number 2's on the list?</strong>
    Posted by emwalker77[/QUOTE]

    Don't do a B-List, it's considered to be very rude. Invite the people you really want to come, and leave it at that. Whoever can make it will come, and you'll have a great time regardless!

    Also, from what I've heard, most people recommend only inviting as many people as your venue can hold.

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