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Favors

Favors: Do you REALLY need them??

I just read a post in another forum that included, "We didn't have favors and no on noticed."

Makes me think....do you REALLY need favors?? I mean some people use the slice of cake as the favor and I think that's pretty good...especially if you are also having another dessert or candy bar.

I can't stand those jordan almonds, the CD of the couples favorite music that I'll never listen to, the little ceramic trinkets that end up either breaking or in the garbage anyway because they match nothing in my house, the matches (I don't smoke).

I mean if it's not food like a snack for people to eat or the DIY photobooth that can cost under $100...is it really worth spending the money??

PS: I was thinking of giving 1oz jars of honey but now I'm like...why not just wrap up the cake that they will not get to eat anyway or have the baker put small cupcakes in clear boxes with a bow instead of having a big cake?

Re: Favors: Do you REALLY need them??

  • 2BMrsAnthony2BMrsAnthony member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Absolutely, you need favors.  I would be super offended if I went to a wedding and there weren't favors.  I in the Northeast though, so we might do things different up here.  I don't mean that to sound snotty.
  • edited December 2011
    Nope, you don't need them.  I've never been to a wedding that had them.  In fact, I never even knew they existed until I started reading bridal magazines.

    I do like your idea of cupcakes in boxes though.  That's what we did with our leftovers.
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  • rascal17rascal17 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    None of the above. They are a nice gesture if you have money in your budget to spend on them. They are not neccessary though. I have alot of family who will be rushing around and having to drive 2.5-3 hours after my younger brothers high school graduation to come to my wedding (long story but both are stuck on the same day *sigh). I have the money in my budget so I thought since I making everyone travel and rush around that day it would be nice for them to leave with something to thank them for coming. I do agree though that favors are best when edible as I leave behind any little trinkets because I dont need any extra clutter in my house.

    But having a reception is their thank you for coming, favors are just a little extra something. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I was born and raised in the NorthEast and although they are nice gestures they are certainly not required. And yes, most people think like you do OP. They are sort of a waste if it is a trinket of sorts and IMO the only good favor besides a photobooth picture is something edible.
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  • PeavyPeavy member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You are giving your guests food and drinks, and a big party.  This is thank you enough for attending, they don't need a favor.

    P.S. -- for what it's worth, I don't consider leftover cake a favor.
  • nacooper25nacooper25 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am from the Northeast as well; been here all my life. 

    Every time I go to a wedding where they have those porcelain or CD favors, they end up in the trash or left at the table. I've seen people get up without them. 

    I think the photo booths are fun and great momentos. I think the cupcakes or cut up wedding cake in nice clear boxes would be something people would like as well. 

    I just think those trinkets and CDs are stupid.


    Oh it wouldn't be leftover cake. It would be the wedding cake. There will be another dessert provided as well. The guests will not get to eat the wedding cake. 

    I just think it's a waste of money if your guests do not appreciate them. So give them something they can actually appreciate. 
  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_favors-really-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:27Discussion:fe9a5ae5-9263-40e5-822e-ca190d4137e0Post:0d04b8c3-0e46-4177-a146-140b1791b645">Re: Favors: Do you REALLY need them??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am from the Northeast as well; been here all my life.  Every time I go to a wedding where they have those porcelain or CD favors, they end up in the trash or left at the table. I've seen people get up without them.  I think the photo booths are fun and great momentos. I think the cupcakes or cut up wedding cake in nice clear boxes would be something people would like as well.  I just think those trinkets and CDs are stupid. Oh it wouldn't be leftover cake. It would be the wedding cake. There will be another dessert provided as well. <strong>The guests will not get to eat the wedding cake.</strong>  I just think it's a waste of money if your guests do not appreciate them. So give them something they can actually appreciate. 
    Posted by nacooper25[/QUOTE]

    Why aren't you serving wedding cake if there is going to be a wedding cake there?
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  • nacooper25nacooper25 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm not going to serve the wedding cake, because there are other desserts that come with the package. There just won't be enough time to eat it and I think my guests will be way too full to enjoy it. So, I would rather have them take it home to enjoy later.
  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Then why have a cake at all?  That just seems like a colossal waste of money.  I can understand serving other desserts along with it but not refusing to serve the cake at all.

    OP - nobody cares about favors.  I honestly can't remember what weddings I've gone to that had them and which ones didn't.
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  • nacooper25nacooper25 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The cake is included in the package as well. So, I'm going to have that any way. You can't send home cold creme brulee so the cake would be the easiest to put in a nice little box and send with the guests. You don't have to eat the wedding cake at the wedding. I've been to many in my lifetime where they had it sliced and boxed or in little wax bakery bags...
  • edited December 2011
    nacooper, have you considered serving the cake later in the evening?  After a couple hours of dancing I could use a little something to eat. 
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  • joshkatybelljoshkatybell member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    There are some REALLY cheap ideas though if you do give favors. both my sisters did a plastic spoon and some hersey's kisses and that A spoon full of kisses from the Mr. and Mrs. and i heard someone else doing a penny in an evelope saying we got lucky heres some luck for you or something..

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  • nacooper25nacooper25 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm having an afternoon 5 hour wedding....it ends at 5pm
  • edited December 2011
    I'm thinking no favors because i agree that edible ones are best, but we're having a cookie & brownie table as part of our catering package AND i'm making 3 flavors of weddng cake, so i feel like a candy bar would be total overkill. (guests can't take catered food home for liability reasons but i've thought about ordering small boxes if they want to take cake, is this a good idea or stupid?)
  • edited December 2011
    We are not doing favors at our wedding. Our wedding planner said that 1/2 of the favors end up getting boxed up and sent home with Bride and Groom...my future SIL and BIL still have 2 boxes of Koozies in their garage from their wedding 5 years ago :)
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  • edited December 2011
    I don't think you need to have favors.  However, if you would like to but are trying to save money, consider having them double as something else, such as the placecard holders.
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  • edited December 2011
    Instead of doing favors, we are making a donation in honor of our guests to a local charity we both regularly support.  My reception site coordinator said more brides are doing that because, like previous posts said, favors usually get thrown out or left behind.  At least this way our money is going towards something we feel is worthwhile and we know the majority of our guests will think is worthwhile too.
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_favors-really-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:27Discussion:fe9a5ae5-9263-40e5-822e-ca190d4137e0Post:cf9ded3a-870f-4758-b49f-310ddef51b43">Re: Favors: Do you REALLY need them??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Instead of doing favors, we are making a donation in honor of our guests to a local charity we both regularly support.  My reception site coordinator said more brides are doing that because, like previous posts said, favors usually get thrown out or left behind.  At least this way our money is going towards something we feel is worthwhile and we know the majority of our guests will think is worthwhile too.
    Posted by jillsy9[/QUOTE]

    This isn't a favor for your guests so please don't pretend it is.  Make your donation but don't call attention to it with a card or any kind of announcement about the donation.  Charity donations are hairy business and with every one you are going to find somebody who does not agree with it for philosophical reasons or because of how the charity is run.
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  • Tarra+TravTarra+Trav member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think you are already on the right track. They are only good if it is edible or if it can be personalized to the guest. No one wants anything that has someone else's names and wedding date on it. Remember, the gift is for the guest. Would you want a picture frame with someone else's name on it? Probably not. That's why we opted for the photo booth. One copy will go in a scrap book where guests can write a little not next to their pictures and then they get a copy to take home. That's something they can appreciate and even if it only hangs on the fridge for a few months- I know they had a great time doing it. I think the cupcakes are cute and even the honey could be a great idea! But to be honest the only favor I ever kept and used was a deck of cards, and I stil lwill only use them if I can't find another deck bc the couples names are all over them with hearts. IMO if you're going to spend the money make sure it's something that won't get tossed or left on the table :)
  • KimandTKimandT member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry, but who gets offended by charitable donations?  You really have a philosophical problem with the American Cancer Society, or the Red Cross?  I can see if it's a hot button politically-fueled charity, but most people are smart enough to avoid things like that on their wedding day. In general,  I think if you're offended bysomeone giving a charitable gift in your honor, then you have bigger problems.
  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_favors-really-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:27Discussion:fe9a5ae5-9263-40e5-822e-ca190d4137e0Post:0023c2a7-217e-44bb-b9dd-168fba677494">Re: Favors: Do you REALLY need them??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm sorry, but who gets offended by charitable donations?  You really have a philosophical problem with the American Cancer Society, or the Red Cross?  I can see if it's a hot button politically-fueled charity, but most people are smart enough to avoid things like that on their wedding day. In general,  I think if you're offended bysomeone giving a charitable gift in your honor, then you have bigger problems.
    Posted by KimandT[/QUOTE]

    Okay.  Here are a few objections I've seen to some popular charities.  Some people have a  problem with the Red Cross because of how money was allocated in some recent disasters.  A lot of people (myself included) have a huge problem with Susan G. Komen Foundation because only a small amount of donated money goes to research - the majority of it goes to salaries, advertising and paying attorneys to sue over the use of  the phrase "for the cure."  Animal charities are not favored by those who believe we should be taking care of humans first.

    It doesn't matter how benign you think your charity is.  Just because you support it does not mean that others are going to agree with it or be happy that you donated a favor (which is a gift for the guest) to someone else "in their honor".

    As I've said many times, make your donation but if you are going to give money away, take it from part of your budget that is for you and not your guests.  For instance, give up flowers or make your wedding presents to eachother the donation.
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  • edited December 2011
    We are skipping the favors and we are giving a donation in honor of our guests. It is to a foundation that researches the rare disease that my cousin has. The other foundation we considered was some sort of Veteran foundation as my FI is in the military. If anyone had a problem with either one of those, I'd rather they not be at my wedding period. Honesly, I completely agree with PP that favors will just get left or tossed and the last several weddings I've attended didn't have favors at all. We are serving hor dourves with cocktails, a HUGE plated dinner, cake and then late night pizza so we really don't need any other food flying around. No matter what, people are going to have an opinion about what you do and you can't possibly please everyone. If you don't do favors, some will think you should have, if you do, some will think the money could have been better spent. If you donate to Charity A, some people will think it should have gone to Charilty B and vice versa. Its your day. Do what YOU want!
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm using the bells that they have for your exit ( the little silver ones) with our color ribbon tied to them I'm then giving them to the guests as their favor as a Christmas ornament (our wedding is the weekend before Christmas), so it worked out! I wasn't going to do favors at all, but our venue wouldn't let us do the birdseed or anything like that, so we had to search, then I saw the bells, but what would I do with 300 bells after the wedding?!? Give them away! Problem solved!
  • edited December 2011
    I don't think you need favors, particularly if your budget is small. It's better to spend the money elsewhere and your guests will probably not be offended. I agree that most favors suck. I'm not even a fan of the edible chocolates, truffles, m&m's... I however still want to do an favor so I chose locally made jars of jam (mango-strawberry and mango-pineapple, YUM!).  They were only $2 per jar. They will also double as my place cards.  If my guests don't take them home, I will because I think the jam tastes great.  The point is, if you decide to do a favor (other than your cake idea), choose something you like, but also think about whether your guests will enjoy.
  • edited December 2011
    I think thats PATHETIC!. I think donations are a great idea for favors. nobody cares about the cheap $2 crap you get as a favor. I know when i go to weddings favors are the last thing I pay attention too, why not put that money towards a good cause like the cancer foundation in honor of someone. You must have some pretty snobby friends to think the way you do about donation favors.
  • Meggie32080Meggie32080 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did a donation on behalf of our guests to the American Cancer Society.  We had a card that explained in lieu of a tradition favor a donation would be made in their name.  We placed the cards at every place setting.  The ACS has a link on their website and you can choose the wording and colors you prefer and they mail you the cards for free with an envelope for donations.  We choose wording that included the following  "In honor of all of our family and friends who have been affected by this disease.  We feel the finest gift is one that helps others live longer and healthier lives."

    I understand that there are charities that are controversial but I do not think the ACS is one of them.  It is a charity that is very close to my heart...my Mom, two aunts, my best friend's Mom and countless other loved ones are cancer survivors.  (I had skin cancer as well last spring)  And unfortunately, I had an uncle who passed away from lung and brain cancer.  I go to weddings to celebrate the couple, not to get a favor and I can honestly say I could care less if they give favors.  Out of all the weddings I have been to in my entire life I have saved ONE favor...the rest have wound up in the trash.

    All of my guests were so impressed and touched by this donation.

    What it boils down to is it's your wedding, do what you want and if you have go the charity route choose one that means something to you.  If someone is offended by a donation tell them you will call the charity and take thier name off your list;)
  • jeslmjeslm member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Best favor from any wedding I've ever been to: enormous boxes of Philly soft pretzles by the doors as guests were leaving.  They were the absolute perfect munchie on the way out the door, and I was grateful to not have to haul more clutter home.

    If we do favors, it'll be chocolates or something.  I'm not spending money on stuff people will go home and throw out anyway.
  • fealldagalfealldagal member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Giving a wedding favor to you guest is showing how much you appreciate them at your wedding.  If you looking for some cheap wedding favors you can check out http://www.dreamfavors.com and also you can get 5% off coupon code 5off

  • melissak1qmelissak1q member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Edible or useful favors are best. No one wants a candle holder with your friend's names on it or a paperweight shaped like a diamond. I got a coozie at the last wedding I went to and it has never been used.
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