should I ask...

amberhanson · May 2010

I have a dear friend who I am going to have as a bridesmaid. The problem is she has a tattoo on her arm and my husband to be and I would like her to cover it up for the wedding. I will be covering the one I have so I figure she can do the same. I am a little hesitant to talk to her about it because I don't know what type of reaction I will get from her. Does anyone have any advice or exp. with this????

SonaliPop · May 2010

Asking someone to cover up their tattoo may seem understandable, but from previous boards (ones I've read), I've heard a lot of ladies say it's a little rude. I would avoid it because in the scheme of things, it's a little ink and the rest of it is the most wonderful day of your life. Forgo the conversation and save yourself some possible (and pointless) drama.

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:df6c944f-5d34-4d75-a2f2-9ea4a376a708Post:0796d143-cd64-4b82-95af-f3f0c4c319d9">Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a dear friend who I am going to have as a bridesmaid. The problem is she has a tattoo on her arm and my husband to be and I would like her to cover it up for the wedding. I will be covering the one I have so I figure she can do the same. I am a little hesitant to talk to her about it because I don't know what type of reaction I will get from her. Does anyone have any advice or exp. with this????
Posted by amberhanson[/QUOTE]
Yes, you are covering yours as your choice. It should be her choice as to whether or not she wants to cover hers. I would not mention it and let it go. Whats the big deal?

Aedes* · May 2010

Unless it's offensive ( ex. Swastika) then I say let it be. If you are really close and don't think she would mind then you can make the call. However, I would not ask a BM to cover her tattoo.

Jenni.Adams · May 2010

IMHO it's quite rude to ask her to cover up her tattoo. Unless this is a very recent tattoo you probably knew that she had the tattoo when she was asked to be a BM, tattoos are very much a part of who people are. Asking her to cover up her tattoo would be like asking her to hide who she is. Unless its on her chest or face I'm sure that if you just talked to the photographer about it, saying you want her to take photos that downplay the tat and not put it right there in the viewers face she'd be able to do it.

I'm pretty adament about who I am and being proud of that fact so if one of my friends asked me to cover my tattoo for her wedding i'd go out and get a really obvious one just to spite her, because IMO no true friend of mine would care that I had a tattoo showing, they would just want me to be there with her as I really am, the friend she loves and cares about.

beatlesgirl25 · May 2010

Ditto Roxy. It's a personal choice, and I think you should let her make the decision. If you must, you could share with her what you're using to cover yours and offer to let her use some. But even that's a bit heavy-handed.

ksmith67 · May 2010

If you are having a church wedding you may want to check with your officiant on this, I know in my church piercings and tattoos HAVE to be covered for weddings. Personally even if the church has no issue with them, I see nothing wrong with mentioning it and giving her the choice, it may not be a big deal at all to her to cover it. It really depends on how she feels about it though, you can't force her to, obviously, but maybe if you just said you'd been discussing covering yours up and were wondering if she would also be willing

beatlesgirl25 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:df6c944f-5d34-4d75-a2f2-9ea4a376a708Post:7699dce4-dc9f-437c-8a55-f41f50749cc5">Re: Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]IMHO it's quite rude to ask her to cover up her tattoo. Unless this is a very recent tattoo you probably knew that she had the tattoo when she was asked to be a BM, tattoos are very much a part of who people are. Asking her to cover up her tattoo would be like asking her to hide who she is. Unless its on her chest or face I'm sure that if you just talked to the photographer about it, saying you want her to take photos that downplay the tat and not put it right there in the viewers face she'd be able to do it. <strong>I'm pretty adament about who I am and being proud of that fact so if one of my friends asked me to cover my tattoo for her wedding i'd go out and get a really obvious one just to spite her,</strong> because IMO no true friend of mine would care that I had a tattoo showing, they would just want me to be there with her as I really am, the friend she loves and cares about.
Posted by Jenni.Adams[/QUOTE]

Seriously? You'd get a whole new tattoo just to spite your friend on her wedding day? That doesn't really make you the more mature one here.

ggmae · May 2010

I've said this before, but I have a tattoo on my foot and I honestly wouldn't be offended if I was in a wedding and the bride/groom asked me to cover it up. I understand that tattoos aren't for everyone and I'd have no problem covering it if they asked nicely. And actually, my guess is that if my best friend asks me to be in her wedding, she'll ask me to cover it if the dresses are short (because she has mentioned something about it in the past.)

beatlesgirl25 · May 2010

GG, I forget, what's your tattoo again? And did it hurt like a bitch?

ggmae · May 2010

It's a tribal flower tattoo. And no, it didn't hurt too much. My leg fell asleep after the first 15-20 minutes, so I couldn't feel much. When I got it touched up a few months later, it was just more like a scratching feeling, and it itched like a bitch.

Jenni.Adams · May 2010

Beatles: I know that its not really mature but I have very strong feelings about "friends" asking me to not be myself. I had some self esteem issues growning up and it's taken quite a while for me to become proud of who I am and I won't change or cover that for anyone.

Seriously OP I assume that she's one of your good friends and you love her as she is so I would just talk to the photographer. They should be able to take photos in such a way as to downplay the tattoo

beatlesgirl25 · May 2010

Jenni - I appreciate your spirit, and that's great that you've overcome your struggles to be so confident with who you are. But I think doing the extra tattoo would still demonstrate how influenced you are by how others perceive you, don't you agree?

GG - Eek, I still cringe when I think of it, so kudos to you.

I have one on my hip and it was painful enough. Do you have to touch it up from time to time? Foot tattoos tend to fade, right?

ggmae · May 2010

Yeah, mine is pretty faded at the moment. I am debating what to do with it - either get it touched up or do something to make it more elaborate. We'll see.

Jenni.Adams · May 2010

Beatles: I do agree. I'll admit I wrote that previous response in haste and just added that due to emotion I'd stop myself before actually doing it but that would be my intial response. The hip one had to have hurt. What did you get there?

beatlesgirl25 · May 2010

That's cool Gretch! You kind of get another chance to do something with it then. I wish mine would fade for that reason, haha!

Jenni, that's good to hear. And my tat is just a half-moon with flowers around it. Because I was 17 and thuper cool and all into celestial stuff. Oh man.

I'd love another one sometime, but the next one will mean something. How about you?

Jenni.Adams · May 2010

Lol I think the moon sounds pretty neat looking. But I agree you definately want it to mean something. Mine is a heart with a sword sticking in it and a rose vine wrapped around both, it's in between my shoulder blades it hurt like hell lol

LD1970 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:df6c944f-5d34-4d75-a2f2-9ea4a376a708Post:0796d143-cd64-4b82-95af-f3f0c4c319d9">Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a dear friend who I am going to have as a bridesmaid. The problem is she has a tattoo on her arm and my husband to be and I would like her to cover it up for the wedding. I will be covering the one I have so I figure she can do the same. I am a little hesitant to talk to her about it because I don't know what type of reaction I will get from her. Does anyone have any advice or exp. with this????
Posted by amberhanson[/QUOTE]
Advice: Get over it.

beatlesgirl25 · May 2010

Yikes, I bet Jenni! Sounds colorful though!

Jenni.Adams · May 2010

It's pretty awesome

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

I love my tattoo and while I'd do it I'd be kind of bummed if a close friend asked me to cover it for her wedding. Unless it was a strict, church ceremony which I'd understand. Just for pics though? no.

banana468 · May 2010

Ditto PPs.

You can't ask her to cover it up. To do so is really rude.

hd7694 · May 2010

I love my friends the way they are and expect them to do the same. I would be really hurt if one asked me to cover my tats. However, if a friend was getting married and was planning on covering her OWN tat, I would ask her if she wanted me to cover mine. Maybe that should be the route you go. If she does not offer to cover her tat, you need to let it go!

Kristin&eric · May 2010

If you think she would be ok with it. I wouldnt as my friend to cover it up. Maybe tell her that you are covering yours and if she was interested in covering hers up to for the wedding.

SarahBride0521 · May 2010

My Cousin who is one of my BM's keeps asking me if I want her to cover up her shoulder blade tattoo for my wedding and I have told her that is her choice but she doesn't have to. I am also not covering up mine on my shoulder blade. I feel like other posters do, that if she wants to cover it up it should be her personal choice.