May 2012 Weddings
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FI's Bach party...WWYD??

FI had his Bparty this Sat! It started out well with the guys going to the gun range, then taking the party over to FBIL's house to drink and watch the fight. FBIL and his GF are currently in a rocky state, where she's just living there for now until she gets back on her feet and is able to move out. So at around 3am FBIL's GF comes home from work, and somewhere in the course of the time she's there FI's BM slaps her on the butt 2-3 times. Now although FBIL and her are contemplating a break up, FBIL is extremely jealous and now super p'd off.
Now here's my dilemma: FI's BM is engaged to my bestie. She already blew up after hearing FBIL's GF in the background the next morning. Do I add to it by telling her what happened? or do I avoid causing an argument and tension at my wedding?

Help!
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Re: FI's Bach party...WWYD??

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    oh dear! as much as you'd like to tell her what happened, i'd stay out of it.... it will only hurt her more, and like you said, it will unfortunately cause more drama and tension at your wedding, and you want that NOT to happen.... in my experience, as much as you wana call her right up and try to save the day, don't. you don't want to add any more to it..... that's terrible though... your FI's friend should be ashamed of himself.......
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    I agree-- normally I would say "she needs to know," but in this case SHE REALLY DOESN'T.  He's already in the dog house, and it would only hurt her more- I wouldn't get in the middle of it, especially so close to your wedding.  Let them hash things out the way they want and if she needs to know, he can tell her, but don't get involved.  Sheesh, I'm sorry- that sucks.
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    This is a tough situation to be in. I'm not so sure I would say anything. If you say something, she won't be (or shouldn't be) mad at you. If he cheated, then I would speak up because I don't think you could sit idlly by knowing what happened. Honestly, if the girl lives there, then your friend has no reason to be upset. It does make me wonder why is he slapping her in the butt. Maybe it was harmless fun, I don't know. Part of me is like "just stay out of it" and another part of me just doesn't know. Okay, maybe that wasn't helpful. What does your FI think about the situation?

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    Honestly. I probably wouldnt say anything. They were having a good time, drinking was involved. It was just butt slapping. That doesnt make it ok, but it was likely harmless. If it was kissing or gropping I think it would be different.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_fis-bach-partywwyd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:12850951-4d8a-41bb-bdec-e7e84fd3807aPost:0c199f9e-c502-44ab-bed6-4e6dc1ffbd67">Re: FI's Bach party...WWYD??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly. I probably wouldnt say anything. They were having a good time, drinking was involved. It was just butt slapping. That doesnt make it ok, but it was likely harmless. If it was kissing or gropping I think it would be different.
    Posted by SunshineShades[/QUOTE]

    This is how I feel, but I don't want to be considered a bad friend for not saying anything. I'm glad you ladies see it like this as well. FI's BM does seem to get a lil crazy when he drinks. More like harmless fun, and I know he meant nothing by what happen
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    Stay out of it!

     

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    I'd stay out of it, esp. with your wedding this weekend.
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    Stay out of it! No need to cause yourself drama!
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    As much as I want to say stay out of it- remember that's your best friend. What's harmless to one person may be the complete opposite of the other. If I didn't tell my best friend that her boyfriend was slapping some other girls butt- she would be livid. I believe things come out one way or another and you don't want to be the person she blames if she finds out you knew... Keep quiet till after the wedding if you chose to say something. Don't let anyone ruin your day
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