So after reading thru alot of posts everyone on here say the bridesmaids are only responsible for: A. buying their dress and B: showing up on the wedding day. After looking thru the actual website for The Knot, there is a article on all of the bridesmaids duties. So why are there two conflicting pieces of info from the same website? I understand that the forums are people's opinions, but why is there advice being "offered" that directly conflicts with the actual website?
Here's the link for the article:
http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx
Re: Question about bridesmaids duties
Here's the link for the article:http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx
[QUOTE]So after reading thru alot of posts everyone on here say the bridesmaids are only responsible for: A. buying their dress and B: showing up on the wedding day. After looking thru the actual website for The Knot, there is a article on all of the bridesmaids duties. So why are there two conflicting pieces of info from the same website? I understand that the forums are people's opinions, but why is there advice being "offered" that directly conflicts with the actual website? Here's the link for the article: <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx</a>
Posted by lacelover[/QUOTE]
This is because The Knot is part of the wedding industry that keep pushing more and more imaginary expectations on people because it generates money for them.
There is nothing wrong with bridesmaids doing any of these things, but they should never be expected. People seem to forget that your bridal party are your very special honored guests. You choose them to stand by your side at your wedding ceremony because you love them, and they support your marriage. They are not your employees. Oftentimes, bridesmaids do perform these tasks, but it is at their discretion. It is incredibly rude to treat your beloved friends and family like unpaid wedding coordinators or props.
[QUOTE]My great grandmother had a bridal shower, how is that not generations? If you disagree with The Knot, why are you on their forums?
Posted by lacelover[/QUOTE]
<div>Because a lot of us came here for advice and ended up making some really great friendships. </div><div>
</div><div>You're an adult. You can take our opinions with a grain of salt if you want, but know that a lot of girls have been there, done that and have that experience. You can take it for what you want. Just know that a lot of TK's "rules" aren't really the norm around the boards. </div>
"You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc
[QUOTE]You do realize you are on The Knot, right? How exactly does a website that you don't buy things from make money by your bridesmaid throwing you a bridal shower or whatever traditions that have been around for generations and generations?
Posted by lacelover[/QUOTE]
Okay, here's the thing...
The link you posted says that it's the bridal party's duty to throw the bridal shower.
<strong>Help to plan, cohost, and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party with other bridesmaids.</strong>
That's a weird tradition that some circles follow. The reason throwing the parties became a traditional "duty" is because of bridal magazines and all that. One person reads an article in a magazine and puts it on their bridal party to throw the parties, so when <em>those</em> girls get married they think that's how it's supposed to be, etc. It's a nasty cycle.
Ask around to your mother, grandmother, and aunts. I promise you, not all of them had their bridal party be the ones to throw them their showers. Some might have because their MOH and/or bridesmaids <em>wanted</em> to, but NOT because it was their job to.
The wedding industry can only make so much off of the bride and groom. They can also dip into their friends and family. The internet helps spread false information faster than ever. Don't ever be fooled. It's like... okay, would you ever just read/watch 1 opinion on anything? No, of course not. You would want to hear both sides so you can make up your own mind. You've read TK's list of duties. And you have heard what we have had to say. You need to decide for yourself what to do now.
[QUOTE]Oooh, ooh - this is even more ridiculous .... <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/10-ways-for-bridesmaids-to-help-out.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/10-ways-for-bridesmaids-to-help-out.aspx</a>
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]
That list is awful. All those costs add up.
"Collect disposable reception-table cameras at the end of the night and get them developed."
In 2013, the cost of developing disposable cameras are expensive. Ten dollars at Walgreens. If there are ten tables, that's over $100 right there. <a href="http://photo.walgreens.com/walgreens/pdpsdpitems/type=film_processing" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">clicky link</a>
"Take her gown to the cleaners after the wedding. Get her gown preserved for when she returns from the honeymoon."
Uhhh, isn't it about $100 on average to dry clean a wedding dress?
"Pack a honeymoon "in case you forget" bag: Include a disposable camera, sunscreen, sunglasses, moisturizer, saline, and other toiletries a harried bride might forget to pack."
Unless they're honeymooning on a remote desert island, I'm pretty sure there is a Walgreens there. Or at least a 7-11. Actually, no. If it's a remote desert island there is still probably a 7-11 there.
"Stock the couple's kitchen with food for their return. The worst trip is the one to the grocery store the night you return from paradise. Help them avoid reality for just one more day."
My own grocery bill is scary enough, thanks.
They can just go the next day. I'm pretty sure they'll survive one night without fresh milk.
I mean, <em>seriously</em>? OOT gift bags, tickets to a show? Escort cards, centerpieces... You're looking at hundreds and hundreds of dollars here.
I mean, I want to be a pretty pretty princess for a day too, but I also want my bridesmaids (my two sisters and two sisters in law) to feel beautiful and not be broke or stressed because of my asinine demands that they spend every free Saturday leading up to my wedding "helping" me (or slaving away for me. Semantics.)
[QUOTE]The Knot wants to make money. We want you to keep your friendships past your wedding day.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]
<div>A-effing-men.</div>