Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Just Engaged and Proposals

Heads-up! If your The Knot Community profile image doesn’t look right, please re-upload it. Re-upload

Just Engaged and Proposals
New Discussion

Newly engaged glow fading?

sunshine8372sunshine8372 member
10 Comments
in Just Engaged and Proposals
I got engaged on Christmas Eve and the high is already fading. I'm starting to stress about the wedding already. I don't know if I should have one or not. I feel like when I invite extended family I have to invite everyone. Truth be told I'm closer with my friends then a lot of my family. My fiancé and I don't have a ton of money and we want to buy a house too.

I guess I'm feeling overwhelmed and was wondering if any other newly engaged ladies felt this way?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Newly engaged glow fading?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Congrats on your engagement! There is no hurry; take some time and enjoy being engaged. Then talk with your fiance about your expectations of the wedding. I felt overwhelmed, too, and waited a whole year before I started actively planning the wedding.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • SCD1126SCD1126
    100 Comments
    edited December 2012
    Congratulations on your engagement.

    Once FI and I started making some decisions and got to talking about each of our expectations and visions for the wedding, some of the stress went away. There IS a lot to do, but you're tackling it together and for the most part it should be FUN.

    I like theknot's checklist tool because it breaks tasks down by month so it doesn't feel like I'm having to deal with everything at once.

    As for the guest list, each of us made a "wish list" of guests. Once we saw the names on paper it was easier to decide who to cut (we trimmed about 20 people plus kids off). Both of us feel really good about who will be invited. Our closest friends and family. 

    If any parents want their input on the guest list, don't hesitate to suggest that you will need help paying for their meals or whatever. If you are paying 100% for the wedding, YOU should be in complete control of the guest list.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    Report Reply
  • AndreaV26AndreaV26
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited December 2012
    I'm in the same situation! I've been engaged less than a month and it's stressing me out! We are paying for the wedding completely ourselves. We got to the point where we knew we had two options. 1) Get married in late July/early August (I'm a teacher and have to get married in the summer), and keep it small, as in 50 MAX! or 2) Wait another year until summer 2014 and have a big wedding.
    After lots of talking and debating, we decided to do a small wedding sooner. First of all, we don't want to wait to be married. We are ready to start the next chapter of our lives. Also, big weddings can be a circus. It becomes too much about flowers and food, and all that stuff that is simply not going to matter 30 years from now. We want it to be about us. Small and intimate.
    So just have an honest conversation about what you want, and how much what you want is going to cost.
    Report Reply
  • slgirl21slgirl21 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I've been engaged for about 5 days now, and I'm still on cloud 9, probably because it was totally unexpected, but I do feel a little over whelmed, because I don't know what direction i want to go in, and I see things I like, but nothing I love. I would just take a step back and enjoy the moment for a while, maybe take a weekend trip somewhere to celebrate your engagement. and don't worry we are all here for  ya and are all going through the same thing.
    Report Reply
  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yeah, I'm quietly panicking about paying for the wedding, but I was relieved to find out on Christmas that my fiancé's parents are wanting to invite VERY few people from his family, so we shouldn't have more than 60-80 people at the wedding. We were worried that they wanted to invite his dad's entire family and that would have put us at well over 100 people. Paying for the food of 60-80 people is definitely easier!!

    Report Reply
  • sunshine8372sunshine8372 member
    10 Comments
    Thanks everyone! Don't get me wrong I'm very happy that I'm engaged. I guess it's a little daunting when we are paying for it ourselves and we want to buy a house too.
    Report Reply
  • amymaysaamymaysa
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_newly-engaged-glow-fading?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:79cdb3f1-d4c0-4b65-ad97-b139353cf0c1Post:2ae09081-2d2a-44b6-b337-955f27d68482">Re: Newly engaged glow fading?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks everyone! Don't get me wrong I'm very happy that I'm engaged. I guess it's a little daunting when we are paying for it ourselves and we want to buy a house too.
    Posted by sunshine8372[/QUOTE]

    Congrats.

    I suggest you both sit down and figure out what you want more. You can easily do a small wedding and then buy a house, you just might need to wait a little while longer.
    Or have a bigger wedding and push off the house for longer.

    It's just one day, where a house has a longer life span, just remember that
    Report Reply
  • addieth4addieth4 member
    10 Comments
    We're in the same boat! Got engaged (total surprise) last Saturday and was crazy happy for like 3 days and then the panic of how we were gonna pull this off set in. We're also paying for it ourselves. But we just booked a venue (within our budget yay!) today and it already feels like some stress is gone! I have found its better if I rotate looking at fun stuff for a bit then do actual stuff, like calling venues etc, then take a break and go back to fun stuff. Congrats on your engagement!
    Report Reply
  • sunshine8372sunshine8372 member
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_newly-engaged-glow-fading?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:79cdb3f1-d4c0-4b65-ad97-b139353cf0c1Post:ca545f63-2c0b-429d-9150-4bb481fc44bc">Re: Newly engaged glow fading?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We're in the same boat! Got engaged (total surprise) last Saturday and was crazy happy for like 3 days and then the panic of how we were gonna pull this off set in. We're also paying for it ourselves. But we just booked a venue (within our budget yay!) today and it already feels like some stress is gone! I have found its better if I rotate looking at fun stuff for a bit then do actual stuff, like calling venues etc, then take a break and go back to fun stuff. Congrats on your engagement!
    Posted by addieth4[/QUOTE]




    Congrats on your engagement as well! I think that's what it is panic about how to pay for everything.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards