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Did any of you ladies have a tish?  FI and I are definitely each doing it (after signing of ketubah, before bedeken), and I'm wondering, if you had one, who did you include in it?  Obviously I want my immediate family (through first cousins), but it gets fuzzy once I start thinking about which friends I want there.  Did you include any friends, or keep it strictly family?  Of course, this is a personal decision for me, but I'm curious to see how you guys handled it.

Re: Tish

  • edited December 2011
    I'm not planning to have a tish, but I went to a wedding just a few weeks ago with one.  The bride invited pretty much any female at the wedding, but the groom limited his to only a few close friends and his groomsmen.  That made things very awkward while I was in the tish but my FI was outside waiting (which many other couples encountered as well).  So I guess my only comment would be to try to agree with your FI on who you both would like there so you don't end up with 20-30 dates  waiting outside alone because they aren't allowed in.
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  • silversparkssilversparks member
    edited December 2011
    We each had a tish including everyone. Lots of people went back and forth between the two of us, so dates and families stayed together. At the end of his, whoever was with him danced and sang him over to where I was so we could continue with the public ketubah signing and badeken.
    I've seen private ketubah signings and badekens (either for timing or really just wanting a few minutes with really close family and friends), but I've never seen a private tish, so i'm curious why people consider doing it like that...
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  • edited December 2011
    We aren't doing either; there's not enough space and frankly, I'm going to see enough of everyone that I'd prefer not to have that bummed-rush feeling of everyone wanting to wish me well - but I'm weird like that.
  • edited December 2011
    we're each having a tisch, but not splitting it by gender.  all wedding guests are invited, and the men will dance FI over to me.  we'll sign the ketubah and civil license with everyone there, then they'll go downstairs to the ceremony area and we'll do the whole processional/chuppah thing shortly after.

    this is the part of the wedding i'm MOST excited about!  that moment when the bride and groom see each other for the first time - it's so amazing!
  • edited December 2011
    we are definitely doing the traditional men and women separate, but I am reluctant to invite all our guests, since there are about 400 of them!  I wanted it to be more of an intimate thing, but once I told my mom I wanted my closest friends there, then she wants her closest friends there, and do their husbands go to FI's tish even though they aren't as close with him?  I guess in the end it probably doesn't matter and whoever wants to come can.  But we also need to know who b/c of the shuttle from the hotel. OY!
  • abbaroodleabbaroodle member
    edited December 2011
    What about just inviting everyone and including the times on your invities. Those who are interested will show up and those who arent, well, maybe you can have some wine and light appetizers for them.

    Our plan is to have one tisch. We each get to do some Torah teaching and hopefully some friends and folks will as wel.  Then we sign ketubah, drink wine, and move to the "real" ceremony. 

    Of course, I could just go for a tisch and skip the real ceremony! 
  • edited December 2011
    Ok, I'm bringing up this topic again.  Our wedding is in NINE DAYS!!  Just finishing out the kinks of timing for the wedding.  We decided to just keep the tish by word of mouth.  OOTers who are taking the shuttle will know about it from their welcome bags, and in towners we will just let them know before hand.

    So, now I'm looking for some explanation about what a tish is and why we do it.  I've called the rabbi's wife to talk to her about it but while I'm waiting for her to respond I thought I'd pose the question to you all.

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