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help! bridal party make up and hair issues!

kbrothers42kbrothers42
10 Comments
in Wedding Hair, Makeup, & Beauty Forums
Ok so I'm very close with my bridesmaids and moh but an issue has arisen already and I'm torn a bit. For our wedding I plan for the wedding party his and mine to hit up the salon for some day of hampering like hair make up for us girls and a trim and hot shave for the boys. Not only do I think it would be a nice way to relax before the ceremony but considering there is a specific look I'm going for for the girls make up is like them all to look similar. Problem is is that one of them has brought up that they want to do their own make up and they have a friend thay does hair... Ok that's cool but this is for ALL of us and I have a look for this wedding is like to achieve... Is it out of line for me to POLITELY say that I want us all done at the same place to get the look I WANT not what she thinks looks best? I'm far from a bridezilla since this is the ONLY request id like to make of my bridal party, but I feel like I should have a say in what my bridal party looks like for pictures. Right?
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Re: help! bridal party make up and hair issues!

  • lls31lls31 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Are you paying?  If you are requiring this, you absolutely must pay for each bridesmaid.

    That being said, if one of your BMs prefers not to do this, you can't force her to.  Some people do not like when others do their hair and makeup.  There's nothing you can do about that.
    21811_10151174643987291_1046283999_n_zpsddfa358c Anniversary BabyFruit Ticker
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  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2012

    If you are requiring a certain look, you must foot the bill for it.  That being said, do you really want to force one of your BMs to get their hair and makeup done just because you want it? 

    I also wanted to pamper my BMs so I paid for professional hair and makeup as a treat.  But my sister was really more comfortable doing her own makeup so I had my MUA do my mom's instead.  The whole goal was for us to be relaxed and have fun getting ready--forcing to my sister to do something she was uncomfortable with would have been going against the whole point of us being together.

    Planning the Meal
    With All the Trimmings
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  • AthseaAthsea member
    10 Comments
    edited April 2012
    I personally have to seriously suppress the urge to smack away a hand whenever it comes close to touching my face, even my doctor's. In addition to that, I have anxiety attacks whenever someone else uses a curling iron or straightener on my hair, because I suffered years of burns from my mom insisting my naturally straight hair had to be curly every single day. 

    The point is, many people do not like others touching their faces or messing with their hair, for a multitude of valid reasons. And it's their body, they have a right to decide who touches it and what do do with it. So no, you don't have a right to dictate how they look in pictures, even your wedding pictures. You can request she style her hair a certain way, sure. You can request she go easy/ heavy on the makeup, eyeliner, whatever. It seems a bit controlling, since your friends are not props for your pictures, they are individuals that you're supposed to want up there with you because of your relationships with them. But you can ask. And she can say no. 

    And if you're requiring this, you should be the one paying for it, if you aren't already. But that doesn't mean they have to do it. I personally, would not let anyone but myself come near my face with makeup, not for my best of friends. I would hope my friend who cared enough to want me to be in her wedding would understand that. 
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  • meganpow87meganpow87 member
    100 Comments
    Hummm...If you're requiring all the hair and makeup to look identical you should tell her you're footing the bills. Let her know when her appointment is and that everything is taken care of and all she has to do is show up. It seems like either she doesn't like her hair/makeup to be done by someone in fear (I wouldn't wanna chance looking like a clown either, but that's just me as I wear minimal makeup) or either she is struggling (i understand this aspect as well) financially. Either way it doesn't matter and you should step up and make this your responsibility for the time, costs and worry.
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  • jtolyjtoly member
    2500 Comments
    I had a very good friend require me to go to a salon for a day of pampering and she required hair, makeup, etc and was not paying. I dropped out of the wedding. It was way too much money for me. Two other girls also dropped out. I'd hate to see something like this ruin your relationship with your friends.
    ~jenn~ Photobucket Anniversary
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  • amymaysaamymaysa
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Like others have said, if you are requiring your bridal party to have specific hair and makeup styles to satisfy you 'wedding vision' and pictures, then you need to foot the bill. You also need to not be offended if someone doesn't want to do this.
    There are examples above. I also hate wearing my hair up, and would be so uncomfortable if I had to have it up for a wedding. I think I look just as nice, if not better, with my hair done all down or half up.

    I assume the people you picked are you nearest and dearest, is this something you really want to push on your good friends?
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  • ChelseaclayyChelseaclayy member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-beauty_help-bridal-party-make-up-and-hair-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:358Discussion:19e080d0-8ab3-448f-9d47-5bafb601aed0Post:1b1f8b31-5328-49a9-8ede-ef8f50e03dd7">Re: help! bridal party make up and hair issues!</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you are requiring a certain look, you must foot the bill for it.  That being said, do you really want to force one of your BMs to get their hair and makeup done just because you want it?  I also wanted to pamper my BMs so I paid for professional hair and makeup as a treat.  But my sister was really more comfortable doing her own makeup so I had my MUA do my mom's instead.  <strong>The whole goal was for us to be relaxed and have fun getting ready--forcing to my sister to do something she was uncomfortable with would have been going against the whole point of us being together.</strong>
    Posted by stephiehall[/QUOTE]

    <div>Stephie has a great point.</div><div>
    </div><div>You said that you wanted your bridesmaids to enjoy a day of pampering (which is what you meant to type, I'm assuming) and relaxation. If the bridesmaid in question is more comfortable doing her own hair/make up or having someone else do it, then she should be able to make that choice. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
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  • kbrothers42kbrothers42
    10 Comments
    Oh no i would absolutely foot the bill for all the salon happenings on the day of and I wouldnt ever FORCE someone to do what I wanted I'm not like that at all. I think the only reason it was an issue is because she has a problem with (in most situations) listening to others ideas. Its her way or the highway. Id be more than happy to let them do their own hair an makeup at the salon thats chosen but if shes wanting to have her own special retreat to a different salon to get it done by who she wants the way she wants i refuse to pay for that. I also find it a bit rude. :-/ not sure if thats me just being overly blunt or what but its honesty i guess haha

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