First Look Dilemma

thale0924 · February 2012

I am really going back and forth on when to do the first look.

-On one hand if we do photography before the ceremony then it will create a less stressed flow of the day, we're also having our ceremony/reception at a downtown Chicago venue, so the traffic will be a lot worse after the ceremony than before. I'll also have more time to spend with my guests during cocktail hour since both the ceremony/reception will be held in the same place.

-On the other hand I would love for my FI to see me for the first time as I walk down the aisle. It's been one thing I've always thought was special about a ceremony.

My practical/emotional sides are debating and I would love advice. If you had pics taken before the ceremony did it take anything away from your walk down the isle?

Sorry for the essay and thanks for your opinions!!

saacjw · February 2012

Could you split the difference? Do every picture you can possibly do before the ceremony so that after you only have a few pictures with him in them left? It will save some time at the end, but you won't have to give up your idea of walking down the aisle.

dori851 · February 2012

We are doing what PP said. We are taking all pictures possible (basically everything except for me & FI, the whole family, & the whole WP together) before the wedding so we don't have too many pictures to take afterward!

tldh · February 2012

What is your FI's opinion? DH was adamantly against seeing me before the wedding.

thale0924 · February 2012

I like the idea of taking all the pictures except of the two of us together before hand. How are you doing that logistically? Have the boys take their pictures first and then girls later?

As for the FI, he doesn't care at all! So far if I give a reason to go one way he'll be all for that, and then when I give opposing reason he's all for the opposite way!

NOLAbridealmost · February 2012

I guess I am biased because I did a first look and I also will NEVER know what "could have been" during the walk down the aisle, but I still recall that moment as being the most incredible moment of the day and H just looked so emotional. I can't imagine it having been more special than that even without a first look.

toothpastechica · February 2012

We are 'splitting' the pictures...doing all the pictures of getting ready and then all the girls by themselves, guys by themselves, bride pictures...before the ceremony, then doing any couple/whole wedding party pictures after the ceremony. We have 2 photographers so we have the benefit of splitting them up so one can be with us girls and one can go with the guys in the morning.

Lisa50 · February 2012

If you feel the vision of your wedding would be ruined if your fiance sees you before you walk down the aisle, wait to do photos.

DH and I waited to have formal photos taken until after the ceremony, however we spent the entire wedding day together (wedding was @ 5:30). I didn't see any reason to get ready early to have photos done. It's all about your personal preference.

Simply_Caitlin · February 2012

I'm biased because my favorite part of weddings I've been to is that moment the bride walks in. When everyone turns to look at her, I always watch the groom and they almost always bring tears to my eyes.

pattib5 · March 2012

A first look won't "ruin" the moment when you walk down the aisle. It will still be emotional and amazing regardless if he's already seen you in your dress. You're still walking down the aisle toward the love of your life and your future.

Having been adament at my "dress rehearsal" wedding many years ago about not seeing the groom before the ceremony, we too tried to take as many photos before the ceremony as possible. But without the bride & groom together, that still leaves a whole lot of photos to do after the ceremony. Plus you lose natural light.

I'm completely sold on the idea of a first look now. It'll give you a private moment to take each other in, tell each other how amazing you look, and breathe and enjoy a moment with each other without 50-100+ people watching. And then you still get the whole walking down the aisle experience. Honestly, nothing will be lost by seeing him before the ceremony. All a first look does is give you two special moments with your groom instead of one.

dustinandtricia · March 2012

My FI wants to see my dress. I want to wait until the alterations are finished. My sis came up with an idea that I'm going with. I will get a photo of me in the dress, print it, and wrap it. When my FI opens the pic my sis will take photos of his reaction (during a photo session we are planning). We will then stage how he sees me for the first time on our wedding day (it will be before the ceremony) so that we can have photos of that moment as well.

Dayna217 · March 2012

I had the same fight with myself too, but we have decided to have a first look and get pictures out of the way for all the same reasons you want to and plus our location is really spaced out so it takes golf carts to get to some photo locations... Anyways
Here is my suggestion to you...When you do your first look can it be at the acually ceremony location? Have your groom at the end of the isle with your bridal party standing on either side as well as your parent and his parents. You walk down the isle by yourself to your groom. You still get the feeling you always dreamed of but still get to be practical. None of your guest will know you did a first look and your when you walk down the isle to get married it will still be emotional and memorable. The icing on the cake you get photos of both moments. My best friend did this at her wedding. Turned out great and we all cried when they did their first look. It was very special!! Hope this helps.

osh99 · March 2012

Dayna,

That is an awesome idea! I love it. I never would have thought of that, but I have been struggling with this same debate myself and your idea just made the light bulb go on and made everything make sense! Thank you!

thale0924 · March 2012

Pattib5: Thank you, I like the different perspective. I really appreciate it

Dayna: That's a really great idea! Thanks!

evanquil · March 2012

I debated with this for a long time too. But ultimately we decided to go with the first look photos. I kept looking at other photographer's blogs and all of the photos from first look sessions were so beautiful and priceless! I know that I am going to be a nervous wreck before the wedding and I think seeing my FI will really help calm the nerves. And plus we will get an inimate moment with just the two of us before the ceremony starts, which, I have heard, doesn't happen often on your wedding day because you are constantly surrounded by people so it is hard to escape and get that moment alone.

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