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Last Names

ShofShof member
10 Comments
in Georgia-Atlanta
This is my second marriage. The first go around I changed my last name. After the big D I changed my name back to my maiden name. Now I am engaged and my FI wants me to change my last name to his. But I am unsure. He has a sister with the same first name as me, whom he does not get along with. (So then everytime someone says my name I will be thinking of her!)   He calls me by my last name and never uses my first name  HELP! What should I do? I don't want to hyphenate because my last name would be  15 digits long! But if I keep my last name he will be upset because I changed for my first husband.
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Re: Last Names

  • eagles347eagles347
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Does the length of your name REALLY bother you that much? Seems that hyphenation may be the way to go.

    Or realistically, you can probably bet that you will get use to your new name and won't immediately think of your FSIL so taking his name may not be as bad as you think. Your FI will probably continue to call you by the same name he uses now.

    It doesn't seem like you're particularly attached to your last name...would you use it to replace your middle?
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  • lucyslovedlucysloved member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have a friend that legally changed her name to a hyphened one, but just goes by her maiden name.  So for example, she is "legally" sally jones smith, but she still goes by sally jones. Maybe that would be an option.
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  • bbyckesbbyckes member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would reccomend what Lucy suggested.  FI wants me to change my last name too, but I don't think I will change it legally.  I will still be known by my last name professionally and legally, but on personal documents and such - I will go by his last name.  I think that's a fair compromise.
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  • annewright2000annewright2000 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP... you've got to keep both!
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  • pokepoke27pokepoke27 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm gong to change my name to his, mainly because the last name doesn't bother me at all. My last name is so common - along the lines of smith, jones, miller, etc. His is unique : ). Go with whatever you feel comfortable with - but I do agree with bbyckes if you're unsure! 

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  • Almost MrsKAlmost MrsK member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Are you guys planning on having kids? That's where it could get tricky. Would you want them to have your last name or his? I'm changing mine but we are planning on children sometime in the future and I want to have the same last name as them. I am also def. not attached to my last name. I'm going from 5 letters nobody can pronounce to 10 letters nobody can pronounce. Laughing
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