Stressed out

jojoandjose2012 · October 2011

Hello everyone,

I am starting to freak out, my fiance is in Afghanistan and won't be home until thanksgiving. We have a lot of plans to make but he wants to wait until he comes home. From what I have read, you need to start booking things a year in advance and we are running out of time. Our wedding date is set for 10/6/12 and we haven't even discussed a budget yet and no plans have been made eccept it will be a military wedding. I am perfectly fine with that and look forward to it but am not sure what to do with the timeline. Help!

LetsHikeToday · October 2011

My MOH is getting married next September and she just picked her date a week ago.

You might not have your first pick of vendors but you can plan a wedding in that amount of time, for sure. I actually wish I would have had a short engagement, like 4-6 months. A year was too long for me.

melbelle24 · October 2011

First of all, take a deep breath and try to relax. You have plenty of time to get everything together before next October. A few things you can start doing, even without a budget, would be: looking at inspiration boards to get an idea of what style you like, start thinking about colors, start putting together your guest list. You can even start researching venues and vendors online and can make a list of ones you'd like to check out with your FI when he comes home. HTH!

CAB1217 · October 2011

I have a 9 month engagement, and have had no problems at all. Don't worry!

firsttimersluck · October 2011

Calm it! October isn't THAT popular of a wedding month so you are fine!!

We booked all of our venues at the 6 month mark for our September wedding and felt like we had PLENTY of time!!!

matcha · October 2011

I am sorta in the same boat. My FI is deployed until around holiday time and we are planning a June wedding. He proposed during his midtour break in late late August, so I didn't even have a year to think about things!

I think you'll be fine if you decide to wait until he gets home to do any sort of planning, because it'll give you 11 months which is plenty of time. Also, October isn't as crazy popular as May, June, or July, so you'll still have great options (and deals). But honestly, if you decide to wait for all of these steps until after he comes home, I think you'll be absolutely fine. I started 9 months out for a June wedding and found exactly what I wanted.

I did find, however, that I could get the first few steps done before he gets home. I talked to him a bit about the type and size of the wedding/reception. Since I knew what size of a wedding we wanted, I made a rough draft of the guest list with the help of his mother. With that guest list, I was able to create an estimated budget that was appropriate for the size and our available finances and start looking at venues that would fit within that price range. If you are able to do these steps, you can have a list of places to check out after he gets home and cut some of the waiting time.

Otherwise, you can always spend your time having fun collecting pictures and getting an inspiration board together!

Beachy730 · October 2011

We planned our entire wedding in under 6 months, including picking a date in July. It's definitely not possible, so just try to relax.

Technically, you don't have a date set until you book your venues. So just be willing to be flexible if necessary. If you're dead set on that date, be willing to be flexible in your budget and your venues. If you think you'll be more set on certain venues when you see them, be flexible on a date. Usually Fridays are much more open at venues (how we got a July date in February), so you could always do the 5th if needed and have better luck.

Just relax, and you can start working on some little things. You could call venues and ask them to send you menus and price lists. You could sit down and write out your side of the guest list that you would like to have. You can start to think of what your opinion would be for a budget. This way when your FI comes home you can have half the stuff done already. But definitely don't stress about not having anything booked yet, you have PLENTY of time.

BinxRose · October 2011

Don't stress! We are only having a 9 month engagement, and had no problem getting a venue or vendors at the 8-momth mark. Actually, now I have nothing to do for a while and I am bored! While you're waiting for your FI, why don't you just start scouting out venues and vendors, picking out color options, and all the "fun" stuff? That way you're not so stressed right when he gets home, feeling like you need to get everything done right then. Congrats on your engagement, and good luck!

SamiJoeB · October 2011

I got my whole wedding planned and booked in like 5 months, so you have plenty of time!! Relax!! I think you only need to book things that far in advance when you're getting married during "Wedding Season" (May-September I think...) and having a 400 guest wedding. October (depending on the area) isn't usually a really popular wedding month, so I think that you have more than enough time. Also, TK's checklist is RIDICULOUS and I completely ignored it.

CAB1217 · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_stressed-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:067bd245-9c08-4e67-8b1c-0b435dbb9377Post:ef522b0b-ac1e-42ca-9fa0-431ee0cdbfa9">Re: Stressed out</a>:
[QUOTE]We planned our entire wedding in under 6 months, including picking a date in July. <strong>It's definitely not possible</strong>, so just try to relax. Technically, you don't have a date set until you book your venues. So just be willing to be flexible if necessary. If you're dead set on that date, be willing to be flexible in your budget and your venues. If you think you'll be more set on certain venues when you see them, be flexible on a date. Usually Fridays are much more open at venues (how we got a July date in February), so you could always do the 5th if needed and have better luck. Just relax, and you can start working on some little things. You could call venues and ask them to send you menus and price lists. You could sit down and write out your side of the guest list that you would like to have. You can start to think of what your opinion would be for a budget. This way when your FI comes home you can have half the stuff done already. But definitely don't stress about not having anything booked yet, you have PLENTY of time.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

Hee hee, this made me giggle. :)

jojoandjose2012 · October 2011

I want to thank all of you who have given me the information I needed to CALM DOWN lol. I am so nervous and all of the information on these wedding sites really overwhelm you. I will just go ahead and relax knowing that I have plenty of time. We had picked our date based on these sites recommendations of booking at least a year in advance, but we really wanted to get married alot sooner. I already have started the guest list, I have a photographer pencilled in, and I know we want to get married in Alabama, but am not sure where yet in Alabama and won't know that until he comes home, so as far as venues go, caterers, flowers, invitations, and the rest will just have to stay on hold. Again thanks to all of your help and support.

SamiJoeB · October 2011

I hope you stick around the board!!

CAB1217 · October 2011

I totally felt the way you did in the begining... it's an exciting and overwhelming time!

MeghanHogan · October 2011

You'll be fine! No reason to stress.

Just look forward to your fiance coming home! I got engaged September 1, 2011 and am getting married in June 2012. My fiance is in Missouri at FTLW (it's not Afghanistan but he is away so I've had to do a lot myself).

firsttimersluck · October 2011

haha
Wedding stuff CAN be stressful if you let it, but it doesn't have to be. There were only a couple point during the planning process that I felt stressed, and that was because of other people, not because of us.
You have so much time.

Promise. We actually picked ALL of our vendors at the 6 month point, had linens and everything picked out and all payments made super early so that we didn't do ANY wedding stuff at all for a good 3 months... Then we started on the nitty-gritty stuff like all my DIY projects...
Don't let all the Bridezilla shows and planning stuff make you think you HAVE to feel stressed. The pieces fall into place at one point or another

Welcome to the board and agree with Samil, We hope you stick around with us!
Feel free to post and ask questions on here about anything wedding OR military or just LIFE related. We talk about it all here

Beachy730 · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_stressed-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:067bd245-9c08-4e67-8b1c-0b435dbb9377Post:774c083a-ef39-4860-9649-b1eb1b55d310">Re: Stressed out</a>:
[QUOTE]I want to thank all of you who have given me the information I needed to CALM DOWN lol. I am so nervous and all of the information on these wedding sites really overwhelm you. I will just go ahead and relax knowing that I have plenty of time. <strong>We had picked our date based on these sites recommendations of booking at least a year in advance,</strong> but we really wanted to get married alot sooner. I already have started the guest list, I have a photographer pencilled in, and I know we want to get married in Alabama, but am not sure where yet in Alabama and won't know that until he comes home, so as far as venues go, caterers, flowers, invitations, and the rest will just have to stay on hold. Again thanks to all of your help and support.
Posted by jojoandjose2012[/QUOTE]

<div>One of the mose important things I can tell you about these websites is to remember that they are in the wedding industry, and out to make money. Those checklists and reminders that they have are full of unnecssary expenses, things to do, and some bad ideas. There are some areas of the country and some venues that do need you to book over a year in advance, but for most places it's not necessary. Like I said before, just be flexible and you'll be fine. Remember, getting married is the easy part, and the rest is just planning a party. Whenever you get stressed, just remind yourself that it's really just a party. </div>

LetsHikeToday · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_stressed-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:067bd245-9c08-4e67-8b1c-0b435dbb9377Post:f71591c7-1236-4165-b4fb-8eb5be25a128">Re: Stressed out</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stressed out : One of the mose important things I can tell you about these websites is to remember that they are in the wedding industry, and out to make money. Those checklists and reminders that they have are full of unnecssary expenses, things to do, and some bad ideas. There are some areas of the country and some venues that do need you to book over a year in advance, but for most places it's not necessary. Like I said before, just be flexible and you'll be fine. Remember, getting married is the easy part, and the rest is just planning a party. Whenever you get stressed, just remind yourself that it's really just a party.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

I wish I could bold the first two sentences. That exactly.

jojoandjose2012 · October 2011

Oh I will definately stick around this board, you guys are really great and I appreciate all of the advice.

KendallR10 · October 2011

Relax or you will go crazy. Planning a budget is a big thing. Have you tried to email your FI about it?

jojoandjose2012 · October 2011

Ok I have a Question about the military colors and brides Maids dresses. I have 1 Maid of Honor and 2 brides maids, my question they all want a different color. Would it be acceptable to have my maid of honor in red, one brides maid in gold and one in navy? If you could please advise me I would appreciate that tremendously. Thank you so much for the guidance.

melbelle24 · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_stressed-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:067bd245-9c08-4e67-8b1c-0b435dbb9377Post:e23e17be-098c-406f-92e7-35596e9fc61c">Re: Brides Maid Dresses</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok I have a Question about the military colors and brides Maids dresses. I have 1 Maid of Honor and 2 brides maids, my question they all want a different color. Would it be acceptable to have my maid of honor in red, one brides maid in gold and one in navy? If you could please advise me I would appreciate that tremendously. Thank you so much for the guidance.
Posted by jojoandjose2012[/QUOTE]
I think in the end, that's up to you. Would you be ok with the 3 girls in different colors?

prettyirishgirl · October 2011

ditto melbelle on the dresses - I know i'm not to hot on that idea personally, but it would look cool and be different.

As to what the other ladies said about booking in that time you wont have an issue. I can't think of anywhere in AL that will need you to book a year in advance except possible a few randomly popular places most of which are probably in Mobile - other then that it woudl be a real chance someone else will like your venue for the same day as you. There are tons of really cool and interesting places that are really nice all over the state that you may not have any competition even with less time getting a venue especially for receptions. The only thing that may be a challenge would be if you are going to do your ceremony at a church - they are their own little monster and some that are very popular will book up, but october isnt really a big month for weddings and there aren't many religious holidays or masses in October (unless they are specific to a church (patron saint or something). I also know a lot of people in MS, LA, and AL who have pushed weddings out of hurricane season, get good deals because of the season and the lack of business, and get stipulations in their contracts/discounts because of the hurricanes - something to consider/look into to save money and book a venue you want. We are doing this and have gotten some pretty good offers due to our interest in booking during huricane season in New Orleans.

Example: I couldn't book my ceremony site in January even if I wanted to because they have a week long observance for their patron in the middle of the month, but that isn't wedding related and not a catholic thing, it is jsut because of that particular church.

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