Vows...

Rawr08 · May 2010

What kind of vows are you having????

robinmichael · May 2010

I want to do simple traditional vows, however I plan to say a few lines before we recite the vows. Our relationship has just been too profound not to say something special. FI may or may not, either way is fine. We met and fell in love during the lowest point in my life. I didn't want to love myself let alone another person. My only child had been killed by my then husband. I know very sad, but from his support we have developed the most loving and deep relationship and we had a daughter. I felt like I had been stuck in "winter" for years, and now it's "spring". So I'm working on something to say that conveys the depth of our relationship.

Marrin713 · May 2010

Oh Robin how tragic........but as you wrote, you are in "spring" - my best to you. I cannot fathom losing a child.

Marrin713 · May 2010

Oh yes the vows.....from what I understand from someone who recently did the civil ceremony at the courthouse, they are pretty standard but there are variations to choose from. Were I to write them myself, I would tend toward melodrama and T is so NOT like that. We have said our feelings toward each other in private many many times so I think I will be okay with the standard script.

handfast4me · May 2010

Robin, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine. And I am so glad you have found love in your life, although the child can never be replaced.

We wrote our entire ceremony cobbled together from things we found on the internet, and from our religious tradition that we wanted to include (one is a cakes and ale ritual, in which you say to your partner "May you never hunger" --and then feed him or her a bit of cake, then the partner does the same. Second step is to offer them ale and state "may you never thirst." I feel that is a beautiful ritual.

melissamc2 · May 2010

Robin - I'm so glad you were able to move on from such a terrible thing and I'm sorry you had to go through that. Congratulations on having found a man that can help you be happy.

As for our vows - we keep going back and forth and all over the place with them. At one point we wanted to go with the archaic "Obey" lines. Last week I proposed that I'd write mine using nothing but Darth Vader quotes (Don't fail me again. I am altering the plan, pray I don't alter it any further. The force is strong with this one.) We've got four months to finalize something.

mswood1977 · May 2010

Our priest gave us a choice of 2 sets ot traditional Catholic vows. We chose these:

K and S, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"
"Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?"
"Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

K&S Respond "Yes"
Priest: Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.

Priest: S, do you take K to be your wife? Do you promise to be true to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and honor her all the days of your life?
S: I do.

Priest: K, do you take S to be your husband? Do you promise to be true to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and honor him all the days of your life?
K: I do.

After the priest blesses the rings we excahnge them:

Groom (placing the wedding ring on his wife's ring finger):
K, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Bride (placing the wedding ring on her husband's ring finger):
S, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Rawr08 · May 2010

Robin, so sorry for what you have been through! It is so heartwarming that you found a great guy to stand by you!

I am trying to find some funky fun vows but am having trouble. The first time we did the traditional ones, and I don't feel like saying it AGAIN ya know.

robinmichael · May 2010

Thank you ladies. She is my angel and I know she had to have helped bring him to me, and it helps to ease the pain. We have also had a wonderful daughter together that reminds me of her sister everyday. She's her own little person but her love helps. Vows: I'm trying to make things simple, because like Marrin , I too am quite melodramatic and FI is not! That's why I gave him the option of saying something or not. He's kind of a shrinking violet

but sooo damn funny when we're among our closest friends.

JennaHR · May 2010

Robin, I am sorry for your tragic loss, and I admire your spirit and outlook.
Melissa, I love the Darth Vader idea, although I'm not a Star Wars fan myself.
I played around with the thought of doing something similar with Beatles lyrics.

FI and I already decided to write our own vows, both to eachother and to include our kids. I'm planning to ask my father to become certified as an officiant, and I because he is very convicted in Christian faith I'm sure he would like for us to recite traditional vows as well.

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