Catholic Weddings

Can we talk about convalidation?

Hi- super lapsed Catholic here. FI and I were practicing Catholics up until May of 2010 after a series of deaths in the family (my grandad, his best friend, his mother, and my grandmother) within a period of 4 months. We had planned a Catholic wedding, but it was postponed indefinitely when my grandmother passed 3 weeks before the wedding.

We have both been in rough places emotionally and neither of us had the energy or desire to plan a wedding. The engagement was broken several times, and there was a period where we were no longer dating. We have since reconciled and gone through couples cousling, and realized that we do want to spend the rest of our lives together. We are eloping on Friday with only our officiant and photographer present.

FI was baptized in the Church, but never recieved Eucharist nor was he Confirmed. He started RCIA but stopped when his mother moved in with us so she could spend her final months with family.

I know that convalidation is at the discretion of the priest, but we've already made a promise to each other to begin to faithfully attend weekly Mass again, and he plans to start RCIA in October in order to be Confirmed at Easter.

I understand that a convalidation is not a do-over nor is it a pretty princess day. I don't want either of those (obviously, or I wouldn't be eloping!) My main concern is having a valid marriage in the eyes of God and the Church. Will it be difficult for us to convince a priest to convalidate our marriage?

Re: Can we talk about convalidation?

  • edited December 2011
    I'm not entirely sure, but I really think it's at the discretion of the priest.
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  • mica178mica178 member
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    edited December 2011
    It depends on the priest, but the one couple I have met in real life who was granted a convalidation was going through RCIA.  Hopefully that indicates that you will be granted one.  Good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    This really is one of those things that only a priest can tell you for sure.

    I do know a couple of couples who have had convalidations granted and both have involved couples in RCIA. I think that bodes well for you.

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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
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    edited December 2011
    We are eloping on Friday with only our officiant and photographer present.

    why not just wait and start the marriage process and do a quiet wedding with your priest?
  • caitriona87caitriona87 member
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto the others that you'll have to find out from a priest, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry that you had to go through so much hard stuff all at once. Hope that things are looking up for your family.
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