Already married but planning big ceremony and reception.

Re: Already married but planning big ceremony and reception.

• QueerFemme member

  

  July 2012

  Although this board will be somewhat more understanding,etiquette is etiquette... whether we are gay or straight.
  
  You already had your wedding.  You didn't have a big pretty princess day, but you had your wedding.  You got legally married 2 years ago, yet you put "wedding" in quotes as though, that didn't matter or count.  Your "actual" wedding happened 2 years ago. 
  
  You could do a vow renewal in 4 years and a reception, but you should forgo bridal showers, bridesmaids, first dance, bouqet toss, etc.  You are already married.  I imagine you will have already danced with your partner in the 6 years since you got married.
  
  Lots of people go somewhere to get married legally and then come right home and have an at home reception for their guests. It isn't a wedding re-do.  Just a reception to celebrate your marriage.  Even though you are waiting 6 years from your wedding date, it's still basically the same thing.

  

  Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

  http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
  

  http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
  

  http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
  

  Report0 Reply
• cdat1519 member

  

  July 2012

  Hello, 

  
  

  I understand what you may have experiences in other forums.... Don't listen, not worth it ! My partner and I are from Canada, in 2006 our government threatend to take our rights away, so we hurried to a notary and got married (November 3rd, 2006), with one witness each. It was so sudden that even our families didn't know, but we always told them we would have a wedding/celebration with them eventually. Things led to another, 2 kids (now 19 months and 7.5 months) later we decided it was time (now that we fit in our wedding dresses ) So on August 25th, 2012, we are getting married, not remarried, married and having a celebration with family and friends, walking down the aisle with our fathers and all the things that a wedding has. We are even having a double ceremony, one for us and the other one is a naming/welcoming ceremony for our kids....

  
  

  All I'm saying is that we have enough of people's judgment and comments all the time, call it the way you want, you want a WEDDING, well have a wedding and call it a wedding... It is your day (and your partner's) make the best out of it....

  
  

  Hope I helped ! Wish you a wonderful wedding day !!!

  Cassandre

  Report0 Reply
• simbal07 member

  

  July 2012 edited July 2012

  We are doing the same thing. We got married in Iowa and had to call  an LGBT friendly church to ask for witnesses as we did not have any one there and we really wanted to get married. It all worked out.  We are now having a church weddiing on August 26  back at our anti gay marriage state and it will be big, the whole thing..wedding gowns..big reception etc.  August 26, 2012 will be viewed as our actual wedding day because of all the symbolism it will carry and the presence of family and friends.

  Report0 Reply
• Saltbox2013

  

  July 2012

  We are going to go grab the license ahead of time and have the ceremony 6 months later on a cruise ship. Since we will have the license we got the vow renewal package, however we will downplay the whole vow renewal bit and treat it like a wedding. My guests won't know the difference. I guess the time in between doesn't really matter. Do your own thing girl. Have it your way. The vibe is, it's your day.

  Report0 Reply
• JillyBean42782 member

  

  July 2012

  Thanks to everyone for your repsonses! I appreciate it. My wife told me the same thing, she said it's our day who cares what other people say, if you want a wedding then you'll get a wedding. I love her! lol You guys are right, I should make it what I want it and do it my way complete with bridal attendants and stuff! Again thank you!

  Report0 Reply
• LuckeeClover member

  

  July 2012

  I think that you guys should do it. Lots of people renew their vows and the ceremony is just like a wedding. Besides, it is your life, and you only get one. Plan the day of your dreams and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Don't regret not planning your big day just because someone might have a problem with it. 

  Report0 Reply
• chalberg member

  

  July 2012

  Don't pay any attention to that first comment. We did the exact same thing by getting married legally in NY this past weekend and now we are planning a wedding for Ohio. If you want those things bridal shower, church, first dance do it! That's the beauty of our community. We don't have to follow any guidelines to fit some gender norms. Do everything, do nothing, the choice is yours! As for us, we are doing it all :

  Report0 Reply
• ElisabethJoanne member

  

  July 2012

  I'm straight, and I'm an Anglican Catholic. I strongly believe that the civil aspects of marriage should be understood separately from the religious and spiritual aspects of marriage.
  
  I've been engaged for over a year, and with all my wedding blog and magazine reading, the article that most "spoke to me" was one in the recent edition of Brides about 2 men who had their ceremony in an Episcopal church in Maine. They wanted their wedding to feel like a church service, not a production, just like I want. I can't remember if they had a separate civil ceremony, but I totally would not fault them if they did.
  
  Let the government have one meaning of "wedding." Let every couple make their own, more important meaning. Let stranger on theknot stay out of the whole issue.

  Report1 Reply
• msuprincess04 member

  

  July 2012

  The reason people would disagree with this plan is that it seems incredibly gift grabby. If you want a beautiful ceremoney to celebrate your love and commitement, then do it. But by asking for (because you don't throw yourself a party) a shower/bachelorette party you are really just looking for more attention and gifts. I'm sorry you are upset you missed it the first time, but that was a choice you made. No one forced you to do anything.

  "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"

  Report0 Reply
• kushwa47 member

  

  September 2012

  Im married almost 44 years and never had the wedding a girl dreams of. I was married at 16 and too much in a hurry to wait for the big wedding. Now, on april 5, 2014 we are goin g to have an affirmation of vows and a 45th anniversary. I am doing the traditional wedding although it will be without the bachlorette party, shower, etc. I also will put on the invitations: No gifts please, your presence at our celebration will be our gift. My 2 girls will be walking down the aisle as well as my grandaughter as a flower girl. I'm wearing an ivory ball gown, tiera, and veil. We are getting new rings. I found a beatiful diamond and saffire ring for the 45th anniversary. I can hardly wait for my husband to see me come down the aisle!!

  Report1 Reply