Too old to be FG and Ring Bearer?

Kirsti44 · August 2010

My FH's nieces mean the world to us and we want them apart of our day. The problem is that by the time of the wedding they'll be almost 13 and 8. We don't have any younger children in the family to be a flower girl or ring bearer. I know traditionally, that the roles are for a young girl and boy but we figure it is important to have important people do the important parts.

The question I have is: If you were a guest at the wedding and saw a 13-year-old carrying down the rings and even handing them to the pastor, as a part of the ceremony (to give it more importance that she's older), would you raise an eyebrow or think of it as it is: she's important to us?

I'm not so much worried about an 8-year-old FG as I am a 12-year-old RB. I know there's the option of a JR BM but I really think that's a pointless role and we already have five ppl on each side standing during the ceremony - and it's a small altar.

blackfire5th · August 2010

The only way she is too old is if you ask her and she says that she is too old. If she is excited about it, then I don't see what the problem is.

Lisa8888 · August 2010

She is too old to be a RB never mind she is female.

I would think it was very odd.

banana468 · August 2010

If they like being that role then it's fine. At 13 I wouldn't have wanted to be a FG, but see what the person says.

filaw · August 2010

At 13 I woulda killed to be a FG.

emilykathleen511 · August 2010

If your FI's nieces want to do the job, then nothing else really matters. Also, if they both would rather be flower girls, you could have two of those and no ring bearer. Just have an open talk with the girls and see what they would like to do.

rosiereal · August 2010

thats funny my sons isgoing to be 13 and his the ring bearer and theres no talking him out of it and my flower girl is going to be 9 n she is excited and i have a coin girl and she is going to be 10 and so wanted to be the flower girl and she is happy i know that it looks so cute for lil kidsto do this but my son is not having it he want to be the ring bearer and i wont want to run into the problem that they are to young then get shy on me and wont walk down the aisle. so im ok with it. if you are happy with that then so be people are going to talk anyways so letitbe how u want n be happy

good luck

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

I've seen adult flower girls. It's whatever works for you. If others think it's unusual, who the hell cares?

trix1223 · August 2010

I really don't see the difference between having her on your side as a RB or as a (jr.) BM. Either way it's another person standing on your side.

If one of the reasons you're not asking her to be a BM because it will make the sides asymmetrical, then please remember that WPs are not about symmetry and wedding "roles" are not about gender (i.e. RB is a gender neutral role.)

And really, a jr. BM does exactly what every other BM does, so I'm not sure why you can't just call her a BM.

Ask her which she'd prefer?

cal23x · August 2010

Its is your sepecial day. You do what you want to this is the one day that you will remeber for the rest of your life why not have people that are important to you be a part of it. My flower girl is 12 and another one is 6. Who cares what people have to say.

mysticl · August 2010

No age is too old to be the RB. Think about it this way, If you don't have a little kid as the RB the MOH and BM carry the rings. In fact they often do even if you have a little kid as a RB because the kid isn't trusted with the rings.

CherylE418 · August 2010

when i was 12 i was an acolyte in my cousin's wedding... maybe you could have the older one do this? or find some other "bigger girl" role?

Too old to be FG and Ring Bearer?

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