Dress Dilemma [updated with PIC]

joheryl · July 2012

Beware I am going to vent. So I ordered a dress about 4 months ago. Ever since ordering I have had second thoughts, even an hour after leaving the store. I spent the night crying and called the bridal store first thing the next morning to see what could be done. They weren't very helpful since they since I had allready paid and the manager was not in to answer if I could reselect. They suggested I come in and retry the dress on. So I tried the dress on again and I felt okay with it again but still feel there is something better out there for me. I have still been going to salons and trying on gowns and haven't found anything I love, I really like the inital dress I picked but didn't have that feeling that this was the end of shopping and this was the dress I was going to get married in.... Because I am getting down to 9 months I need to decide if I should be ordering another gown or if my initial choice would still be okay.

Anyone have any advice? I am really stressed and don't know if my gut feeling to get another dress is right or if I should keep the one I ordered.... Help!

LuckyGirl1713 · July 2012

You do have time to order another gown if you really want to order one. But if you have been trying on gowns and still haven't found something then are you sure that you just are afraid to commit. I know that it is a huge decision to make. And of course there is always the budget to think about? I"m sorry that you are having such a hard time with this.

Spunky414 · July 2012

You might just not be the type to go all crying and squeeing over a gown and that's ok. Don't put a ton of pressure on yourself to have a big emotional response especially if that's not really your personality to begin with. It's an important dress but ultimately it's just clothing.

Can you post the dress that you ordered? What is it you don't like about it? In your other shopping have you figured out some of the qualities you'd like your ideal dress to have, like silhouette, neckline, type and level of embellishment, fabric, etc? If your shopping isn't bringing you toward a type take a step back and think about what you want and what looks good on you, come up with some characteristics and work from there. The dress your ordered might not be what matches the idea in your head but might be what looks the best on you.

BrittRN+ · July 2012

It sounds like you really do like your dress if you still haven't found anything you like more. I've had moments of dress regret too, it seems like a pretty normal emotion among brides. Personally, I've stopped looking at dresses and resist the temptations of finding something "better".

Christine9866 · July 2012

I would first STOP shopping! Throwing other dresses into the mix is going to confuse you even more

Did they "glam you up" when you had the dress on? Like put a veil, and/or jewlery on you? I feel this helps.

Do you have a picture of you in the dress?

svanculin · July 2012

In Response to Re:Dress Dilemma:[QUOTE]You do have time to order another gown if you really want to order one.nbsp; But if you have been trying on gowns and still haven't found something then are you sure that you just are afraid to commit.nbsp; I know that it is a huge decision to make.nbsp; And of course there is always the budget to think about?nbsp; Iquot;m sorry that you are having such a hard time with this.nbsp; Posted by LuckyGirl1713[/QUOTE]
I second this. I've been going through a similar situation, but I'm not a very decisive person and I think I'm scared because I picked it so quickly. I also agree that looking at other dresses is probably not helping, of course it's going to make you second guess yourself. I hope everything works out!!

vk2204 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_dress-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:e9c93842-2953-4464-a4ad-67f118362b3dPost:ca8115b9-a2e6-41c1-98a6-20d9840b1de5">Re: Dress Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I would first STOP shopping!</strong> Throwing other dresses into the mix is going to confuse you even more :) Did they "glam you up" when you had the dress on? Like put a veil, and/or jewlery on you? I feel this helps. Do you have a picture of you in the dress?
Posted by Christine9866[/QUOTE]

THIS!

You haven't found one you love, yet so maybe the one you purchased really is the one. Try it on again with an open mind, knowing it is what you will be wearing on your wedding day, and like Christine said, get glammed up and get excited!

FrankensteinsGirl · July 2012

This seems to be a totally normal reaction. I agree with PPs. Stop looking. I like my dress, I feel pretty and it fits me well. Did I cry and jump up and down and yelling 'This Is The ONE!' ? No.

But it's a lovely dress and I FEEL good in it and it fit my budget

Try it with some shoes similar to what you'll wear (if you don't have your day of shoes already), do your hair/makeup and go try it on again. Seems you really do like your original dress but you are hoping for a 'fall in love' feeling- but not everyone has that. Good luck!

joheryl · July 2012

Thanks ladies, just reading your responses has made me feel better. I think I am very indecisive and I did pick a dress really quickly and like a PP mentioned I am not the squeel and cry type of girl when I am happy, I didn't even cry when I got proposed too!

One thing that through me off was the dress I got was way under budget but I liked it more than dresses that were twice the cost. Since the material is organza I had a dress at twice the cost in organza next to it and I could not tell any difference in the fabrics.

I am posting some pictures of the dress, sorry for the poor quality as they are cell phone pictures. I feel the dress maybe is missing some more detail at the bottom, not ruffles but maybe some pick-ups or additional sparkle. I have thought about adding a strip of beading on the bottom hem. Things I love about the dress are the sweetheart neckline and light beading on bodice (hard to see in picture), and it hits my waist in the right spot to be flattering. I also really like the pleat at the back and I have orderied fabric buttons to go on the zipper at the back. I also plan on wearing a crinoline to pouf it out a bit. Things I feel it is missing, that wow factor. There is a side flower I will either move over or replace with a sash of sorts.... maybe a sash could give me a wow factor I am looking for. Let me know what you think. Thanks so much for the help and advice!

[Picture removed - thanks for the advice!]

Catalogue picture

erbear84 · July 2012

I really like that dress! Try it with a sash; my dress I loved without but the sash just made it POP!

shipsinthenight · July 2012

I would definitely try it with a sash and maybe a really pretty big broach.Put the broach in the middle front of the sash and make sure whoever is tying the sash knows what they're doing, a bad knot can be distracting. I would nix adding anything to the bottom of the dress. Organza is such a light fabric, that unless the beading is ultra light, it's going to weigh it down. And since it sounds like you want the dress to be fuller, you really don't want to weigh down the hem. I would be excited the dress is under budget. You can put that money into accessories and somewhere else in the wedding. And deffinitly stop shopping...

[Deleted User] · July 2012

You look AWESOME!!!!! So pretty :-D Check the bridal shop for sashes and brooches and if you don't see anything you like but you like the concept of a sash or brooch, consider checking etsy.com for alternatives. Make sure you note the sizes on etsy, though. Photography can make a small item look bigger than it is.

Stop shopping, you found the winner ;-)

joheryl · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_dress-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:e9c93842-2953-4464-a4ad-67f118362b3dPost:06c15e84-2b0c-47ba-a7fe-3dacb005989b">Re: Dress Dilemma [updated with PIC]</a>:
[QUOTE]I would definitely try it with a sash and maybe a really pretty big broach.Put the broach in the middle front of the sash and make sure whoever is tying the sash knows what they're doing, a bad knot can be distracting. I would nix adding anything to the bottom of the dress. Organza is such a light fabric, that unless the beading is ultra light, it's going to weigh it down. And since it sounds like you want the dress to be fuller, you really don't want to weigh down the hem. [/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is such a good point about the added weight on the hem I didn't even think of that. I have defintely been checking out sashes on etsy and at bridal boutiques, I will probably have it stitched onto the dress to avoid any messy looking bows on the back ;-)</div><div>

</div>

Christine9866 · July 2012

this dress is sooo flattering on you!!! i agree with PP, look at sashes it might add the more you are looking for!

ChiGirl2013 · July 2012

That dress is gorgeous! I agree with the others - it's screaming for some bling and the right sash/brooch combo will make it look like a totally different dress!

orangehills · July 2012

That dress is really flattering, and very, very pretty!!

Spunky414 · July 2012

It looks great on you! Better than the catalog pic (what is up with the ridiculous expressions on these models?). I agree with PP to try it with a sash and bring some jewelry too.

mabapunta · July 2012

That is a beautiful dress!! I think a great necklace and/or a great belt could add that wow factor! You look fabulous in that dress - it is very flattering for your figure! I totally understand wanting a little extra POP to make you feel awesome

Def take comfort in the fact that the dress is under budget and now you have a little more wiggle room with other items to really make it YOUR dress!

I'm also not the crying type for the dress. I debated for a few weeks between two dresses before I made a decision. I had to talk it out with my bridesmaid while standing in one dress, the one I eventually chose. So I hear ya!

Lizburke313 · July 2012

I did the exact same thing!! I bought my dress and then cried and stressed for 4 months until it came in. I even went to two other bridal shops and tried on dresses.
I finally realized that I would have done the exact same thing no matter what dress I bought, that's just the kind of person I am.
When I tried it on again I realized I felt beautiful in it and it really was the perfect dress for me.

So don't worry. That's just our personalities I'll bet

You just can't over think it. You just have to keep reminding yourself how beautiful you look in it and how great you feel in it. That's all that matters.

Dress Dilemma [updated with PIC]

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