Just Engaged and Proposals

Two year engagement worth the wait???!!!

I just got engaged (may 6) to my love of 3.4 years. We always talked about getting married 7/13/13 but when I think about it i want to wait. He is in school getting his masters in education to become a math teacher and if we marry next yr I would be the main financial provider for the household (I'm a therapist at a non profit). We agreed on marrying in 2014 but still wonder if I'm being shallow... Thoughts?

Re: Two year engagement worth the wait???!!!

  • Why would that be shallow? It's smart to wait to get married until you feel financially secure. If that means waiting until you have a dual income household, great! I would think it was way more shallow to get married before you felt ready just because you liked the combination of numbers on a certain date!
  • I would wait until you are financially secure, too.
    However, both FI and I contribute equally and he is still in school so it is possible.
    But, I don't blame you for waiting. Looking back, I probably would too just to get him through school without added stress. But, too late now! Yay!

    Just don't start planning anything!!!! until about a year away. Your opinions will change, a lot.

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  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited May 2012
    We had a 2 year engagement for the exact reasons you mentioned. I was the main provider for a year and a half while DH went to school for teaching.  He finally got a full time job in January- 8 weeks before our wedding.  It's not selfish or shallow. It's smart.
     
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  • I think it's shallow to be concerned about YOU making more money than him. It's 2012 and I don't see the issue there? 
    But it's NOT shallow to want to wait until you two are more financially comfortable and stable. That will help put less stress on your planning process as far as finances go. Plus he won't be dealing with school and that stress. 
    It sounds like a smart move to wait on the wedding. Weddings are great, but not worth the added stress if you just aren't in a place to deal with it right now. You know your situation the best. If it's what you WANT and will make you both happy, then yay for 2014! 
  • As someone in the midst of grad school (and I started after we got married) I can't really imagine having some of these things on my plate AND worrying about a wedding, so I would wait for your own sanity.  

    And while it might sound long now, it will fly by.  Enjoy being engaged and gather rough ideas over the next year or so, and then you can start booking vendors and planning details.
  • My fiance and I waited for two years to get married because I didn't want to do wedding planning while I was in college (and across the country from all the vendors and stuff). Does he want to wait because he'll still be in school? Or is it because of the money? I don't think it's a big deal that you'll be the breadwinner; he is getting his master's degree after all, so it's not like you'll stay that way forever. Besides, there's not really a problem with the woman making money as well as the man, like others have said, it is 2012.

    On the plus side, a 2-year engagement gives you two more time to plan and research and save for the wedding that you want :)
  • My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years on the 25th. He can't keep a secret and keeps hinting that he will pop the question sometime that day.  We have talked about when we would get married (if that ever were to happen) and we have agreed that we would after I get out of college. This will happen in 2014. I think that it is smart. Whatever works for you, whatever you both ar comfortable with.

    As others have said, a two year engagement gives you time to plan everything out. I know some people who have planned it in less time and didn't get everything that they wanted in their wedding.

    For me, I have to wait and see when my dad will be in the states. He's in the Navy so it's kind of difficult to plan on short notice
  • julib33julib33 member
    First Comment
    I hope its worth the wait! We aren't getting marrie duntil summer 2014. We want more time to plan, save, figure out where we will be living, etc. I personally thin it's smart, not to mention less stressful. Having the extra year to plan has been nice, we haven't had to make any "hard" decisions yet on anything. We're going to look at venues this summer so we can book next summer without having to visit them all in a short period of time.

    I say 2 year engagements are great! lol
  • BentickheartBentickheart member
    First Comment
    edited May 2012
    Thanks so much everyone! Feeling very confident about our decision and yes it's 2012 but I'm an old school kind of gal :) happy to have extra time to save and plan though.
  • I'm late on this thread but reading the responses makes me feel better. I got engaged in March 2012 and my fiance and I are looking at Summer 2014 for the big day. It feels so far from now but thinking about planning a wedding in less than a year really scares me! Added pressure from family doesn't help either! I'm happy to read that 2 year engagements are common.


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_two-year-engagement-worth-the-wait?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:1a87ab2c-fa63-465b-8232-58b0c50514e0Post:2afdee9c-0809-469a-84f4-0e416a84ec5a">Re: Two year engagement worth the wait???!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I hope its worth the wait! We aren't getting marrie duntil summer 2014. We want more time to plan, save, figure out where we will be living, etc. I personally thin it's smart, not to mention less stressful. Having the extra year to plan has been nice, we haven't had to make any "hard" decisions yet on anything. We're going to look at venues this summer so we can book next summer without having to visit them all in a short period of time. I say 2 year engagements are great! lol
    Posted by julib33[/QUOTE]
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