XP: STD Advice

Re: XP: STD Advice

• Nickivegan member

  

  December 2011

  This is tough. Personally, I am an avoider of awkward situations as to not make things worse. 

  So, that being said, my advice would be to not send him a STD since he is in the wedding party. He should already be privvy to the date/location/time/etc.

  
  

  If you want to add more details, the other folks here and I might be able to help further.

  
  

  HTH, and GL!
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• motogrl13

  

  December 2011

  Thanks.  Well, the situation is sticky, but I'll do my best to make it short and cohesive.

  
  

  They met a few years back at work; she was dating someone, but they each had feelings for each other.  She married the guy she was with at that time and that was that.  Fast forward a few years; she's now single, and they re-connect.  They start dating shortly after she became single and it got serious fast.  She started coming to our group of friends weekly trivia and she and I became friends.  Well, I guess she felt like things were moving too quickly for her, just being out of a marriage and told our friend she needed a break, which tore my friend apart.  He responded poorly and broke up with her after a huge blowout arguement.  After their fight and breakup, he tells our group of friends what she really thinks about each of us (I'm a flirt, my FI is blind to my flirty ways and therefore dumb, are other friend is desperate, etc) and swears up and down it's over between them.  I suppose it's important to note that there were/are other issues in their relationship, such as, she's very religious, he's not, she comes from a TON of money and has been raised to expect expensive things (her parents pay for her condo and all the vacations she takes), while his family is more lower-middle class, etc, etc.  So, after he swears that it's over, they talk and make up.  Since that time, however, she hasn't been to weekly trivia, so I'm not sure where their relationship is currently.  Also, he told us to send him mail at his mom's house, where he currently lives and says "he'll be there for a while" (he was planning on moving into her condo in Jan).

  
  

  I hope that is clear for everyone, and I appreciate your advice/thoughts.

  
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• 57rainbows

  

  December 2011

  I would say since it's just a STD, just address it to him. For the invite you should have a better idea of their status since that's further down the road, and you can address it appropriately. I dunno though; go with your gut.

  

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• SirJuliusVonHaast

  

  December 2011

  I would address it to him, but tell him in person that you weren't 100% sure of their situation but that if they are together then she is invited too. 

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• lenergyrlah member

  

  December 2011

  If they are currently together (even if it is just for one day) I would address it to both of them, but tell him that if he wants to bring someone else that's fine.

  
  

  If they are currently not together, I would address it to him and guest.

  
  

  If you are sending STDs to the rest of the wedding party, I would send it to him as well.  You wouldn't want him to see someone else's and then wonder "where's mine?  Am I still in the wedding?" and that would just cause a lot more drama than sending out the STD in the first place would.

  
  

  If you're not sure whether they're together or not, you could ask him who he would prefer it addressed to.  But at the end of the day I don't think it really matters.

  

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• MyUserName1 member

  

  December 2011

  I'd address it just to him since they don't live together.
  
  Or just hand it to him in person (:
  
  I would not put her name on it.  You wouldn't invite her if they aren't together, right?

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