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Attire on Wedding Invitation?

SecretAgentJAHSecretAgentJAH member
First Comment
in Jewish Weddings
I am in the process so finalizing my wedding invitation working (I'm doing them DIY) and both families can't decided if we should include attire.

Here are the details..

Venue: Temple in Florida
Time: Bedken, Cocktail, Tisch at 11 am, Chuppah at 12pm then Reception starting at 1pm
Bridal party attire: I have a formal lace dress, bridesmaids are wearing black cocktail dresses, Men at wearing smart black suits and matching ties. Groom might wear a tux, TBD

I want to put formal attire without have it be black-tie. And if I put cocktail attire men might not wear a suit.

Any suggestions? it's important to note that I don't have any in appropriate individuals coming who would not know what to wear on their own. Just worried because it's a day wedding.


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Re: Attire on Wedding Invitation?

  • ElisabethJoanneElisabethJoanne member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The consensus around here is it's inappropriate to put a dress code on a wedding invitation. It sounds like your guests don't need advice, anyway. If they know their grooming/etiquette, they'll especially know that tuxes are inappropriate before dark.

    [I might feel differently if a lot of non-Jewish/non-observant guests were being invited into a highly observant congregation. If women should cover their elbows, knees, and heads, I might try to tell them as much. But that's not the case here.]
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't indicate attire.  Guests can dress themselves, and they might be insulted if you put something on the invitation.  The formality of your venue and your invitation style should clue guests in about what to wear.  Even DH, who I don't think has ever thought about this stuff (invitations + formality, that is), commented that he was surprised that we received a wedding invite that was kind of casual, because he thought the couple was going for a more formal affair.  People get it. 

    We had a daytime wedding (began at 1pm), and no one sticks out in my mind as being dressed anywhere approaching inappropriately, and if they were, I definitely did not notice. 
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  • GreenEyes005GreenEyes005 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It depends on how religious you are. For my sister's wedding, my parents who are Orthodox kindly put a note that stated modest dress, which meant covered shoulders and a respectable length of skirt/dress. No seemed to be insulted and came dressed accordingly.
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  • TeamTarcus2011TeamTarcus2011
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    To be honest, no matter what attire suggestion you put on your invitations, you will still get people calling you with questions ("what does cocktail attire mean?" etc.).  Is there another way you are communicating with your guests (website, etc.)?  We ended up deciding not to indicate attire on our invitations, but made a note on our wedding website describing what we wanted people to wear.  If you have a specific dress code in mind, that might be a better way to communicate it to your guests rather than relying on a word or two on the invitation that could easily be interpreted differently by different people.
    Anniversary
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  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Given what you've described, I would expect the women to be in dresses and men in suits anyway. I don't see any reason to put any attire notation, especially since you say you're not concerned about any particular people not knowing how to dress appropriately.

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