Age Differences

lucyloo1002 · May 2010

So.. FI and I have a unique situation with our families, I think... His parents are as old as my grandparents, and his brothers are the same age as my parents. This is posing a couple of different "problems."

First: My sisers (ages 16 and 15) are two of my BMs. His brothers are GM (ages 43 and 39). I don't really want to have the WP enter as couples because of this. Don't you think its kind of weird, the GM are old enough to be the BM dads? Any suggestions for a different WP entrance?

Second: I'm having issues with what my mom has picked to wear to the wedding. I know she doesn't want to look old, and I think the dress she's planning on wearing is great for her... but not for my wedding. Also, FMIL will definatly judge her on what she wears. I don't want their first meeting to get off on a bad foot. I also don't want people to mistake her for a BM or something. Would it be rude/selfish of me to ask her to pick something else?

Thanks, ya'll!

bablingbrooke · May 2010

1. They're walking down the aisle for, what, 15 seconds? This is hardly a Lolita-making moment and they certainly won't be each other's dates for the evening. I think people would see it as the bride's sister and groom's brother walking in together and think nothing of it.

2. You have absolutely no say in what your mom wears to the wedding, so just take a breath, have a glass of wine, and let it go. Unless it's totally inappropriate for the venue (as in it violates a dress code), you need to keep your thoughts to yourself. So what if FMIL will judge her? That's not your problem. And your "concern" that people will mistake her for a BM is patently ridiculous--if she isn't standing up during the ceremony, she's obviously not a BM, and anyone with half a brain knows who the MOB is. So yes, it would be rude and selfish for you to ask her to pick something else.

jagore08 · May 2010

It's not a big deal for them to walk together for a few seconds. If they feel uncomfortable about it then tell them that they don't have to link arms.

As for your mom, she's a grown woman and she can wear whatever she wants. You get no say (unless she plans on wearing jeans to a formal wedding or her dress is so short you can see her crotch).

stina93446 · May 2010

I agree with pp. You're not telling your young sisters to have sex with these men....you're overthinking it.

If it makes you feel better, I was in the same situation. DH is 9 years older than me. His parents are closer to my grandparents' ages. My baby sister walked down the aisle with his BIL....their ages were 18 and 40. No one thought it was weird.

Also, you have no control over what anyone wears except BP and even that is a loose rule. Her dress will not cause a problem and it won't reflect bad on you....so just stop fussing over it.

lisarose7 · May 2010

My cousin was a Jr BM when she was 10 and was paired with a GM who was close to 40....it didn't get weird until he kept pestering her to dance with him at the reception. So, if all they're doing is walking in together, I don't see the big deal.

Also, you can't tell your mom what to wear. If she asks for your opinion, by all means tell her what you think of the dress. Otherwise, she can wear whatever she wants.

banana468 · May 2010

Don't fret about the age difference. They're just walking together.

As for your mom's attire, that's not your call.

TriSarahtops82 · May 2010

Here's an actual suggestion.

The last 2 weddings I was in we didn't walk down the aisle with the guys. For the first one the guys were already at the alter with the groom, we walked in alone.
the other one we walked up to the first pew of the church where the groomsman met us, took our arm and walked us the rest of the way.

Both priests told us they rarely see the guys and girls walk in together anymore.

As far as your mom's choice of outfit, you most definitely can talk to her about it. I have a very good relationship with my mom, and if something she does makes me uncomfortable I will discuss it with her. Obviously don't say "YOU CANT WEAR THAT!!" and be mean, but I'm sure you know your mom better than the rest of us and can make an informed decision as to how to handle it.

quotequeen · May 2010

Don't do a bridal party dance. Nobody likes them anyway.

trix1223 · May 2010

It's a 20 second walk down the aisle. They're walking to the back of the church/ceremony venue, not into a motel room. You're overthinking this. I promise you that not a single, solitary guest is going to be thinking about the age difference.

Your mom has been dressing herself for years. You get to dictate the attire of your WP. Your mom is not in the WP.

I assume the dress is her typical taste/style. If your FMIL doesn't like your mom's taste in clothing, it's her problem, not yours. Are you going to dictate your mom's attire every time she and your FMIL are together?

janedoe1113a · May 2010

My bridal party didn't walk in together, so you could forgo that all together. Guys were at the altar and then the girls walked down by themselves. They did exit together though. You're completely overthinking this. No one is going to be bothered by the age difference at all.

You can not dictate what your mom wears to the wedding. She has been dressing herself longer than you've been alive. If your FMIL doesn't approve of her clothing, oh well. That's your FMILs problem.

SarahPLiz · May 2010

1- Doesn't matter AT. ALL. People know that BP members walk down the aisle together and it does not imply any sort of relationship at all. At my mom's wedding, I walked down with our neighbor, whose kids I used to babysit. He is 6'7 and I am 5'3". It posed a difficulty for the photographer to get the right angle for the picture, but I don't think anyone in the church gave our height difference or age difference a second thought. Being escorted by someone doe not in any way imply a relationship.

2. She is an adult, she can wear whatever she deems appropriate. If your FMIL judges her, then that's between the 2 of them.

mbcdefg · May 2010

1. Unless they're having sex, don't worry about it.

2. Unless her nipples are hanging out, don't worry about it. Don't hurt your mom's feelings just to please your judgey FMIL.

ElaineH10 · May 2010

I agree with TriSarahtops82. If you really don't want them to walk together then don't. Having the groomsmen already at the front and the girls walk up alone is a nice way to do it.
She also had a good point with the mother issue. If her dress bothers you talk to her, but DO NOT tell her to change it just because you might be worried about what your FMIL will think.

pixiedust84 · May 2010

Totally agree with PP's. I was in a wedding when I was 15 and my groomsman was 35 and it was absolutely not an issue. Although I did have a mega crush on him because he was super dreamy. (Army Ranger I mean, come on.)

Your Mom can wear what she wants. If it's something she already had then you can offer to buy her a new dress for the wedding and express how fun it would be to go out and pick it together. BUT if she bought it specifically for your wedding she'll probably be hurt if you say you don't like it. Who cares what FMIL thinks? Your Mom is probably comfortable enough with herself that judgy mcjudgersons don't matter.

thechimichanga · May 2010

his GM are his brothers so that should make it look even less weird! No? Its like family walking with family. My parents are divorced, my mother remarried, my father did not. My friend is escorting my dad into the reception(he didnt want to bring a date, he wanted to be my dad!), my friend is 27, my dad is 61....not weird at all!

As far as your mom goes. Don't ask her to wear something else unless it is inappropriate. My mom is in her early 50s and takes care of herself. She did not want a typical MOB dress, she picked out a gorgeous strapless a-line satin dress...its technically a BM dress, but she looks fantastic in it and she is comfortable, as along as she is happy and the dress isnt totally inappropriate(mass amounts of cleveage or something) I could careless!

Age Differences

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