New, new, newish Intro+ramble

HugsAndKisses135 · November 2011

Hey, my name is Pan. I'm engaged to a wonderful man who is in the Marine Corps. I'm new to the board. I'm also new to the military life more or less, and have been engaged for 2 months now so being engaged is fairly new. I'm pretty glad this site has a military brides forum, because I will be bugging you guys about a lot of things. I'm the only one of my friends who is getting married to someone in the military, and only the second to get married so there's no one to ask about wedding planning or how to prepare for when he is deployed or wedding planning. Sorry it turned into a bit of a ramble.

Irishcurls · November 2011

Welcome and good morning! We love learning about new people! How long have you been together? Any plans for a date? Colors? Locations?

HugsAndKisses135 · November 2011

Good morning

We have the colors(black, white, and blue). We've been together 4 months lol. We have known each other longer though. No exact date yet, because Fi's deployment might get moved up possibly before the date we had picked out(Leap Day). Which sucks, but things are the way they are. We can't do any venues without a date so I'm just going to preoccupy myself with my DIY decorations so that everything will be ready as soon as we get a date and venue.

amh04 · November 2011

Welcome! Good Luck with planning! and Congratulations!

kara811 · November 2011

Hi and Welcome!

How long have you two known each other? Judging by your post, I don't think you have gone through a deployment together yet right? I highly recommend going through at least one before getting married, deployments aren't easy and can be difficult to adjust with for both parties.

ETA: spelling

Irishcurls · November 2011

Yeah, 4 months isn't very long....these ladies have a lot of good information about deployments and how things can change. Is that something you guys have talked about?

HugsAndKisses135 · November 2011

We've gone through one deployment as friends, and are living 4 states apart right now. His mom was upset because his grandma and I were the only ones he wrote to lol. With his training schedule the way it is currently we already go through weeks at a time without contact. I understand what everyone is saying when they suggest that though. We're relatively young, 21 and 23, but we do know what we are doing. We have long term plans. Have discussed kids, and our budgetting plans while he is gone. We have discussed everything that can go wrong and really looked at whether we should get married or not many times. I understand the road will be hard. I'm not delusional enough to believe that life will be like a romantic war movie. To answer your question of how long we have known each other, almost 3 years. I really don't think it matters. How long you are together beforehand does not determine whether your marriage succeeds. I know so many people who were together for 7+ years who got divorced after 6 months of marriage. It depends upon the couple not the time.

Rethany · November 2011

Welcome to the board and congrats! How long has FI been in the Marines?

HugsAndKisses135 · November 2011

Thank you! He'll be in 4 years this year, and has 2 years left.

Irishcurls · November 2011

We weren't trying to attack you or your relationship, obviously you're the only one who knows the status of it, just pointing out common issues that can arise in rushed military relationships.

HugsAndKisses135 · November 2011

No, you guys really didn't come off as attacking. I read it as more friendly concern.Which I completely understand. I was just explaining our situation. Darn the internet and it's lack of tonal difference!

calindi · November 2011

Hey, it's the most friendly "you might be rushing it" and "yeah, it may seem that way, but we're cool with the challenges" interaction I've seen yet, so kudos to all on that!

Welcome, best of luck on everything! Wow, that's very quick. I personally wouldn't have been able to do that - my parents dated for 4 years before getting engaged, so I guess I always just felt like I wanted to be with someone for longer before we got married. We'll be getting married about a month before our 4 year dating anniversary, we just celebrated 3 years last month!

Also, I wanted to add that your thumbnail profile picture is really pretty! I'm assuming that's you? You're gorgeous! What's your ethnic background, if you don't mind me asking?

ggirl2001 · November 2011

Thread jack: cal we got married 3 weeks before our 4 year dating anniv! OP welcome!

crownsuperstar · November 2011

Hey and welcome. What kind of DIY stuff are you doing? I have to admit I am in awe of people who can do stuff like that since I find it hard to color inside the lines.

HugsAndKisses135 · November 2011

Calindi, Thank you for the welcome. We're the exact opposite. His parents got married 4 months in, and my mother married my stepfather 6 months into their relationship. His parents have been together 30 years and mine have been together 19 years. So we have seen what it takes to make things work for the long run., and that things can work out even if you have not been together for years and years. That's just the power of photoshop xD I'm southeast asian. Hmong to be exact.

Crown, I'm doing these http://www.stylemepretty.com/2009/11/30/diy-matchbooks-by-papermade/ but instead of matches I am rolling up our save the dates and putting those in there. I'm also doing these http://heart-hands-home.blogspot.com/2011/01/rose-kissing-ball-tutorial.html and hanging a bunch of them from the ceiling. Favor boxes,

http://diy.weddingbee.com/topic/100-personalized-favor-boxes-for-under-20 . These hang on the pews http://www.projectwedding.com/wedding-ideas/diy-tea-light-lanterns . I'm adding bows to mine though. I'm also doing a DIY banner and runner.

calindi · November 2011

Hmong! I have a very good friend who lives in Saint Paul who is Hmong. Very cool!

Ggirl - um... let's see... September 1st and October 26th... so... 7 weeks? Except the first day we met was September 7th, so we're getting married 4 years minus one week from the day we met!

kara811 · November 2011

I had a feeling you might be Hmong! I have a few friends that are Hmong, one of them is my best friend in HS! There's a small community of Hmong in Long Beach which is where I went to HS.

SamiJoeB · November 2011

Hi!!!! Welcome to the board!!!!! and can I just say HOLY DIY!!!! I'm soo jealous!! I need to have a party or something!! I can't wait to see your finished products!!

My H is a Marine also!! I hope you stick around!! We love new people!! Are you in school? or working? Where is your FI stationed (Sorry if you already posted that..)

kyrgyzstan · November 2011

Welcome OP, while I definitely think how long a couple is together before marriage is a good indicator of the success of their marriage and the health of their overall relationship, I'm not in your life, so congratulations.

Good luck with planning and please don't forget to always capitalize Marine Corps, even if you're just on a message board.

firsttimersluck · November 2011

Welcome OP! I don't think that the length of a relationship before marriage indicates success or failure, although experiencing some things definitely help (such as living together, sex, deployment, etc). Every relationship is different

I hope you find this board to be helpful. You can also scroll down to the bottom of the board and "search" for a topic in this board that may help you whenever you have a question to find past discussions on the same or similar topic.

I'm glad to hear that planning is going well, and I hope you guys are able to finalize a date soon!

HugsAndKisses135 · November 2011

Calindi, St. Paul is one of the areas with a high concentration of hmong people. My mom's side of the family mostly lives there.

Kara, I didn't know that. Although I should assume as much. We're everywhere! Would you mind if I asked what ethnicity you are? And, I almost bought your dress. It was my runner up.

SamiJoeB, I'm currently just working right now. I'm going to be starting school next fall. My FI is stationed in NC, and no I didn't post that yet.

Wish, thanks for reminding me. I forget about capitalizing Marine Corps all the time. I understand your feelings on the subject, but respectfully disagree

firsttimersluck, we've experienced pretty much all of that. Well the deployment was slightly different than this one will be and I know that. We lived together for a little while, but decided I would wait for him here(WI). I don't think I could do it alone in a place where I know practically no one while he is deployed. It also made more sense financially for me to come home.

I honestly believe that a couple that does not have what it takes will fall apart whether they are together a decade before getting married or less than a year. Plus every deployment is different, and friends of his have made it through one deployment and than divorced after the second one. Examples really don't make a good point though since everyone is different as others have said. Believe me I have heard many many things said about the length of our relationship. We are not going into this lightly. I am not a naive teenager in love for the first time with some idealized idea of marriage. I have dated. I have lived on my own. I have been single with no attachment to anyone and been perfectly happy. He isn't an 18 year old who just joined the Corps. He knows what marriage entails for him and for me. Thank you though, for your advice everyone.

On a lighter note yay for Thanksgiving! I get a whole week with my FI......most likely. Still needs approval from one more person.

firsttimersluck · November 2011

I'm sure you have heard plenty!
H and I moved into our home together about 3 weeks after we met (he bought the house right when I met him, so it was just good timing :P ) and we knew after 2-3 months that we were going to get married. I personally had no rush for it... I don't think the term "marriage" makes a couple any stronger or any weaker. Marriage didn't matter that much to me, since we were already living together, owned our house, were had POAs for each other, in each others' wills, etc. We were basically married, just without the signed paper. We got the signed piece of paper at the 2 year mark (we got married on our dating anniv) and nothing has changed.
It's all that worked for us. That doesn't mean that people who do it differently won't last. We all have our own relationship "path".

(In fact, H's parents got married two months after they MET, and are the most loving, supportive, happy couple I have ever seen, 35 years later!)

crownsuperstar · November 2011

Wow I am in awe of the kissing ball and the lanterns. Mine would look like balled up TP and old lunch bags. They are very cute.

HugsAndKisses135 · November 2011

firsttimersluck, thank you for understanding. I dated 4 guys before him, and it wasn't like this with ay of them. I never even thought about marriage until FI. We knew we were going to get married pretty early on. He surprised me and did it sooner than I thought he would. We were just going to go to the courthouse, but his mom talked us into having a wedding. She did a courthouse wedding, and always wished she'd done a wedding. So now FI wants me to have the full wedding experience, so that I will have no regrets later. Even though I wouldn't anyway. It doesn't really bother me too much what others say.

Crown, I haven't made them yet, but hopefully they turn out good. I'm waiting for sales on the led lights. I need them for my centerpieces too and without a nice coupon or a good sale I would be way over budget.

LOLways · November 2011

Hey, welcome! Congrats on your engagement and upcoming marriage.

You seem mature and confident in your relationship with your FI, so I'm sure you guys aren't going into this lightly. My FI and I have been dating almost 4 years, but much of that has been long distance.

I agree, having X years/months/etc under your belt as a couple doesn't specifically mean they're in a perfect place to be married. It's exactly what is wrong with the mentality of people who get married "because it's the next step." Having lots of communication, important experiences together, shared values and life goals is the important thing, which just so happens to come with time for lots of couples.

kara811 · November 2011

Pan: I am Filipino. Yes there's a bit of them in Long Beach, but there's an even bigger community in Sacramento I believe. That's crazy that you almost got the dress, Ggirl also have the same one! So which dress did you go with? Share!

Zimsgirl · November 2011

Welcome! Your DIY stuff is super cute! You'll have to post pics of the finished products

New, new, newish Intro+ramble

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