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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

How to ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding

My fiance and I are both Catholic.  However, we feel very strongly about having someone marry us who truly knows us.  Since we are both from different churches, we dont have a priest who knows us both.   We have decided to ask my uncle who is already a pastor at a Baptist church.

We are planning to ask him this weekend if he would marry us, but we are looking for a way to ask other then "will you marry us please".  Does anyone have any creative ideas for how to do that?

Re: How to ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding

  • I'm not Catholic, so I'm sure someone with better advice and knowledge will come along, but is that even allowed? I wouldn't think your marriage would be recognized by the church if not  performed by a priest.

    We just asked to see the pastor after church one Sunday, and said "How would you feel about coming to this town and marrying us?" and he said he'd be honored. Sorry I can't be of more help.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to How to ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are both Catholic.  However, we feel very strongly about having someone marry us who truly knows us.  Since we are both from different churches, we dont have a priest who knows us both.   We have decided to ask my uncle who is already a pastor at a Baptist church. We are planning to ask him this weekend if he would marry us, but we are looking for a way to ask other then "will you marry us please".  Does anyone have any creative ideas for how to do that?
    Posted by hmsrab[/QUOTE]


    You do realize that if you don't get married in a Catholic Church by a Catholic priest your marriage will not be recognized by the church and you and your FI won't be able to take communion thereafter, right? Are you and your FI actually practicing Catholics?



  • In Response to Re: How to ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding:
    [QUOTE]In Response to How to ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding : You do realize that if you don't get married in a Catholic Church by a Catholic priest your marriage will not be recognized by the church and you and your FI won't be able to take communion thereafter, right? Are you and your FI actually practicing Catholics?
    Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]
    Exactly this... being Catholic, getting married anywhere other than in the Catholic Church by a Catholic Priest leads to serious consequences for Catholics; such as not being able to participate in any of the sacraments going forward; at all. 
    Praying for a miracle!
  • Sorry, I guess I didn't explain our situation correctly.  Yes, we are Catholic.  We understand what is recognized by the church etc.  We are not getting married in a church for the reason, of wanting someone to marry us who has been with us at least the time we have been together.  We are asking my uncle to marry us.  I am just seeking any creative ideas for how to ask him.  I feel like it is an honor to be asked to marry someone.  I want to make this special when we ask.  Any suggestions?

    Thanks to those who previously responded.
  • My FI and I felt the same as you. We wanted someone we were both comfortable with and so we asked my uncle who pastors another church in the city. We were at a family gathering (my graduation party) and brought up the wedding and how we felt he would perform an amazing ceremony. We told him that we couldn't think of anyone who would be more perfect and asked if he would officiate our wedding. He was honored and immediately agreed.
  • In Response to Re: How to ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding : Is it so important that you are willing to not receive Communion for it??
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

    Again, we have decided we don't want to be married Catholic.  We are just looking for a creative idea or how we can make it special when we ask my uncle to marry us.
  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Why not keep it simple? Make him a card and write why it would be meaningful to you and your fiance to marry you both. 

    As a person who prefers the comedic approach, I'd get a thrift-store Bible & mark the page with Matthew 7:7 on it, highlighting "Ask & it shall be given, seek & you will find..." In the margins, I'd write something about "We're seeking an officiant for our wedding. We'd like to ask you to be it!" Or something. But that's just me :)
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