North Carolina

Postponing the Wedding a year

Our wedding was set for June 5 2010, but real life has gotten in the way of my dream wedding and now there is no way that we can afford it. Our budget was $5,000. But there is no way that we can stay within that, because right now with food, photography, and rentals booked we are at 4800.00. I can't do it, I'm the only one paying for my wedding and there is just no way I can go over 5000.00 right now.

The only way that I can see having the wedding of my dreams is pushing it back a year June 4 2011.

My problem is STD have gone out, my dress is bought, flowers, food, rentals, and photography, and honeymoon are booked. What in the world do I do?? How do I tell people that this is happening---I am just at a loss right now knowing that this isnt going to happen...I have been up all night, crying, and havent slept yet. Things just arent working out for me. Someone please help...

Re: Postponing the Wedding a year

  • JemmessicaJemmessica member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    well you have two choices

    A. go ahead with the wedding, remember the marriage is WAY more important than the wedding.

    B. Try to get deposits back and refunds, and move your date.

    if it were me, I'd revisit the budget and make some serious changes, and go ahead with it now....

    but- everyone is different, so if you want a bigger shindig, you'll have to wait.
  • NcsuPsychNcsuPsych member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Im going to agree with pp. I'd revisit the budget and see if there is anyway possible to cut something. . .

    maybe less expensive food? Non-alky? Less expensive flowers?
    At the end of the day. . all that matters is that you're marrying the man of your dreams! (BTW . . did everything get worked out with you guys?)

    I'm not sure where you're located, but I've got free time on my hands, so if you need any help let me know :) I'll be glad to.
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  • edited December 2011

    First off, take a deep breath and try to de-stress... weddings are supposed to be happy occasions, not something you need to be losing sleep and crying over. Frown
    Next, you have to ask yourself, "what do I WANT?" What is most important to you? Do you have your heart set and unmovable on a big wedding? If so, then ask your vendors if you can change the date and apply your deposit towards your new date in 2011. Take the year to save up the money. If being MARRIED to your fiance is more imporant to you than having a big wedding, then scale way down. Serve chicken instead of beef, get a Sam's Club cake, things like that to save money. Cut down the guest list. Yeah, it's not great etiquette not to send someone an invitation after they get a STD, but it's your wedding and stuff happens. Make it an intimate affair. Seems like you've got MOST everything you need and havent hit $5000 yet.

    Chin up, everything will work out how it's supposed to.

  • edited December 2011
    I agree with pp's. It's not worth crying over and losing sleep.  If you want your wedding now, then go for it. You can make the budget work. 

    If relationship wise/big shindig you need to wait or postpone... than do that and forget about the wedding for a while.  Talk to your vendors, if they aren't willing to move the date, then that sucks, oh well.  You have a year and a half to recover, that's plenty of time.

    It will be okay!! Weddings aren't perfect. 
  • ktyd8ktyd8 member
    edited December 2011
    I agree with re-working the budget. Maybe some of us can give you some suggestions of things you can do. My budget is about the same as yours. It may just take some minor changes and compromises on things such as the type of food you're serving.
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  • edited December 2011
    it's totally not worth it, losing sleep and crying....NO WAY, don't let this take over your life like that!!....i agree with jessica's choice A....the marriage is so much more important. we have totally gone over our budget and i have alot of regrets about it....we aren't getting a honeymoon and my wonderful wedding day has turned into everyone else's vacation (my fault for having a wedding day at the beach)....if i could go back i wouldn't be so worried about everyone else wanted and thought and i would have done what we really wanted to do from the start and for less than $5K....i totally would have done the wedding/honeymoon thing all in one.

    p.s. side budget was $6k and i am already over $8k and stressing about how everything is going to come together.  we totally could have gone to an all inclusive, wedding included and honeymoon perks week away for $5k
  • edited December 2011
    It sounds like almost everything is already bought.  What other things are you having difficulty fitting into the budget?
  • wlfpkbridewlfpkbride member
    edited December 2011
    If budget is the only reason you're moving the date try to think about other options. Maybe you could have a destination wedding instead. You can do that for less than 5k. A lot of places will include wedding free if you stay at the resort a specified amount of time. I can recommend my travel agent if you want, she's been great! 

    You could change the time of your wedding and do a morning ceremony and lunch reception. That's what we did and it saved us over a $1,000. 

    If you guys are still working on things or you still think you just can't work it in your budget after considering other options you should put it off. 

    I'm not sure what this would be called...but one of the girls on my old club board did something similar. It said something along the lines of...

    "Oops...we got ahead of ourselves" and goes on to say the new wedding date, etc. I thought it was a cute way to let people know the date has changed without bringing too much attention to the issue. The economy sucks right now and most people will understand that. Don't worry...things will work out :-)
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