Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

How young is too young?

My fiancee and I were wondering if my nephew (who will be 13 by the time we get married) is too young to be a groomsman or not. Any ideas or suggestions? Does anyone know if there is a "proper etiquette" for this sort of thing?

And if not, how old is too old for a ringbearer? Thanks!

Re: How young is too young?

  • I don't see why he couldn't be a groomsman.  I think he'd look kinda funny as a ring bearer though.
  • I think that it's your wedding, and if that's what you guys want, then go for it!! My only concern would be things such as the rehearsal dinner/ bachelor party --will there be alcohol there which will force you to exclude him? I'm sure you'll figure something out if that's the case. Best wishes!!
  • I think that you should do what you two want to do. It's your wedding after all! My cousin is going to be a bridesmaid and she will have just turned 13 three days before. She is very mature/developed for her age and I thought she would feel more comfortable being a bridesmaid than a jr. bridesmaid. I will include her in everything I can, just not the bachelorette party, where I am sure there will be champagne (and knowing my MOH, lingere games and stuff I would not want her to see). If his nephew is an important part of his life, then ya'll should definitely ask him if thats what you both want :)  
  • My FI's niece is going to be an honorary BM because she's too old to be a flower girl and too young to be a BM.  My 2 sons are 12 and they are going to be acolytes.  I may have them stand with the GM rather than sit on either side of the alter. 
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  • There is no such thing as too young to be a BM or a GM.  All they have to do is dress up, walk up the aisle, stand there and smile for pics.  A 13 year old can certainly do that.  If you'd like him to be a GM, ask him.

    FWIW, I've seen an 8 y/o BM before.  She did fine.
  • My younger brother will be 10 when I get married and we are having him as a GM.  He won't be going out with the guys for the bachalor party.  Toy Story 3 opens the day before our wedding so we are planning on getting as many people from the BP that can make it together to go see it so that he will feel included.
  • I think he'd be perfect for a groomsman. Maybe don't let him in on the bachelor party though... ;)
  • I've seen people do "jr. bridesmaids" and have them dress more conservatively for girls but obviously dont go to bachelorette parties.  Why not do the same for groomsmen, especially if you can have a jr bridesmaid to accompany him. 
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  • My cousin will be 12 when we get married and we're having her as a bridesmaid, so I don't see a problem with a 13 year old groomsman!
  • Do whatever you want!!!!  It doesn't matter what their title is, if you want them to stand up with you, then do it!  I am actually having 3 females stand up with me, and none of them are regular bridesmaids!  My sister is matron of honor, my best friend since childhood is maid of honor, and my 13 year old niece is junior bridesmaid.  Don't allow others (or what you assume they will think) dictate who you have in your bridal party.  It is YOUR day, after all!
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  • If it were up to me, I'd say its perfectly fine for him to be a groomsman. 
  • I think it is absolutely fine! my fiances sister is my MOH, and her son who will be 13 when we get married this year is going to be a groomsman because both my fiance and I are very close with him! I think it makes the day special!  hope this helps :)
  • I think if there can be junior bridesmaids, there can be young groomsmen.  if you know he'd love to be a part of it, by all means: ask him!  There is not, from what I know, a restriction on attendant age, while there seems to be on ringbearer age.

  • My 13 year old son will be a groomsman. I might be letting him go to the bach party too..but only because it's a harmless..non wild...event with the guys just gathering at our place to play video games all night and eat a bunch've big kids! lol. My FI wants him there..we'll see.

    So, obviously, I say go for it! If thats what you guys it. =)
  • i think it's perfectly fine for him to be a groomsman. definitely too old for a ring bearer lol & just because there might be alcohol doesn't mean he has to be excluded from the rehearsal dinner etc that's ridiculous. it's not like he'd be forced to drink just because he's present. he can still be a part of things without being drunk. anyway no it's not too young for a gm or junior gm even
  • They have Jr. Bridesmaids, so why not a Jr. Groomsman
  • My little sister is 9 and she is my maid of honor. I don't think 13 is too young, especially if he deserves to be up there. :)
  • My 12 year old daughter is my MOH, so a 13 year old GM sounds awesome!
  • We were wondering the same thing about my fiance's 11 year old brother.
  • 13 is certainly too old her a bearer. My little sister will be 10 for our wedding and I'm almost reluctant to have her be the flowergirl, but I am letting her decide. 13 is old enough for a junior bridesmaid so I'm sure 13 would be fine for a little groomsman. He would look funny as the ringbearer honestly.
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  • girls get "junior bridesmaids" why not let the guys have "junior groomsmen".  For what it's worth, if you're asking about age, I'm thinking of having my oldest 2 nephews - age 7 and 9 to possibly be junior groomsmen.  Otherwise, they'll be with the rest of the flower children - 5 boys and girls under 5 yrs.
  • My sister will be 12 at our wedding and my brother 10, almost 11.  They are going to be a junior bridesmaid and groomsman.  I think 13 would definitely look weird as a ringbearer.
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  • Why don't you make him a junior groomsmen?  That's what we're doing with my 14 year old nephew.
  • I have two cousins, both age ten (brother and sister) and my fiance has a male cousin, also age ten. We are having both the boys be ringbearers. We feel like at age the they can really appreciate how important it is that the rings be kept safe and be given to us at the right time. I know them pretty well, and this is a job both will think is the most important job in the ceremony!

    My other cousin is going to be a jr.bridesmaid, but will probably also fill the role of flower girl, because neither of us have a younger girl that would be more "age appropriatly" suited for the role.


  • When my older sister got married I was 13...I was a "junior bridesmaid" my brother who was 11 at the time was the ring barer. There was nothing akward about fact my sister was glad to not have a toddler carrying the rings down the isle...although the cuteness factor wasnt there....she made it a special day for everyone in the family to be involved
  •  we are having  my  niece who will be 9  and  my cousin's little girl who will be 6for flowergirls. We are going to have them hold hands and walk down the isle.We are also having a young friend as ring bearer  who will  also be 9.

  • At my brother's wedding my stepbrother who was 12 at the time was a groomsman.. He loved every minute of it and my Brother loved having him in it.  So, no I don't think 13 is too young.

  • I am having my 12 yr old cousin as a groomsman.....I love him to death and wouldn't dream of not having him in my wedding.
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