Changing the time long vent

futuremrsjdmartin · August 2012

So we sent out invites on Saturday and we were so excited people started getting them yesterday.

FBIL (who is the best man) calls FI yesterday and tells him "I can't make it to your wedding, I have to work.". Then FBIL demand we change the date or time or the whole faimly can't make it and no one is going to miss work for us. (I completely lost it while standing in Target looking for shoes for my son.)

FI called his dad who offered to work for FBIL (he owns a business that FBIL works for) which means FFIL wouldn't be coming to the wedding. Alsohe says FSMIL cant come either.

We called the venue today and they were willing to change the time but I am so beyond furious especially since everyone was told MONTHS ahead of time that it would be a friday afternoon wedding and we spent a ton of money on invitations and I now have to contact every guest to let them know of the change and hope they don't forget and show up 2 hours early. Also we had intended to take everyone rock climbing which is right next to our venue but now it will be dark by the time the wedding is over. FFIL offered to bring shop lights to help light the venue which is not at all what I want and completely takes from what we had planned. Honestly I almost called the whole thing off yesterday and told FI we'll just go to the courthouse and skip the wedding.

It's also not like this is the first time FBIL has pulled this kinda stunt. FI has been married before and at his second wedding FI sent out invites to his parents and his brother, FBIL didn't give the invite to his parents and so FIs mom sat with her friend across the street and watched the wedding through binoculars all because she didnt think she was invited because FBIL told her she wasn't. FBIL didn't even show up either!

I don't even know how I am going to handle it if he's already pulling this crap 2 months away, I can imagine it will only get worse.

Ali092011 · August 2012

Wow, I can't believe people have the nerve to ask a couple to change the time of their wedding just to accommodate them! I don't blame you for being upset. Just do what you think is right and try to take it in stride. Everything will work out!

mmmendi · August 2012

You have my respect. I would not have changed, I would have said I am so sorry, we will miss you so much and gone on with my plans! I hope this is the only bump in the road and that it continues without further stubmbing blocks! What a mess, I think it's awful you had to go through that at all

LDubHawksFan · August 2012

Whoa! This is crazy. How did his family not realize it would be a problem before?! I think it's great you are accommodating, but that sucks. They sound a little crazy too

futuremrsjdmartin · August 2012

Honestly I wasn't going to change it but when I realized that 5 of the 9 invited guests from FIs family werent coming I gave in. Plus FFIL already missed one wedding because of FBILS stupid need to be the center of attention I had to give in.

minionlover · August 2012

You are a better person than I am. My feeling is that he has another 2 months to adjust his schedule. This is your wedding not some little birthday party. On top of that why can't FBILs family be there?

TheSlowskys · August 2012

Ya I would have never changed it.

snuff9861 · August 2012

I personally would not have changed it either. I would have told FBIL that he would be missed at the wedding. How does FI feel about this? Does he have a good relationship with his brother? If not, I would say you keep the original time and FBIL be damned!

[Deleted User] · August 2012

From your post the only reason the father wouldn't be there is so he can work for son. Just let son work and then father can come

futuremrsjdmartin · August 2012

Honestly neither of us are huge fans of FBIL but the way it came down to it was that FI's dad, step mom, brother, neice and sister in law were all not going to come if we didnt change the time or date. I agreed to change the time to allow his dad, step mom and niece to be there...to be honest I could care less if the other two made it but its important to FI to have them all there so were changing it but thats all I am doing is moving it back 2 hours. I had FI let them know that if that wasnt good enough they needed to let us know so we could change around the wedding party and invite people we do want to be there who actually care enough to take time to be there for us.

brainybrunette · August 2012

Wow...didn't these people know MONTHS in advance what day and time your wedding was? Why are they waiting until 2 months before to actually say anything?!?

achiduck · August 2012

Sorry you're dealing with this. I would have said "you'll be missed" and hung up the phone.

jessiflower · August 2012

we had the same problem MONTHS in advance, but our family at least said something then....not now, because I wouldn't change anything at this point....its such a selfish move this late in the game. We wanted to have ours on Friday at 4pm. EVERYONE in my family threw a fit about it....."dont you know people have to work"........this was back in January. My reply to this was...."you have 10 months to make arrangements with work"......NOPE......they continued to throw the fit about it......and we decided to do a 6pm ceremony.........and we will just dance into the night........having an 11pm sparkler sendoff........so.......I feel your pain....and I'm sorry that they obviously have no respect for you or your FI and that does suck. Be strong....stick to what you decided....theres no reason for you to have to call everyone and change the time. You should stand your ground....and hope for more respect down the road.....good luck.

lyradimer · August 2012

Sorry your future ILs are doing this to you. I also would have said "you'll be missed" and moved forward. I am wondering why your FI asked his brother to be his best man if they're not close. Either way, good luck! And hopefully FBIL won't cause too much drama from here on out.