Honeyfund question

JeVelasco · August 2012

I saw on a different board about a bride outright asking for money with a table set up, obviously rude. Posters went crazy attacking how tacky and rude and and and.... it was. My question is does this also apply to websites such as honeyfund being used ro a registry? TIA

Summer2011Bride · August 2012

Yep. It's still asking for cash since that is what you receive when you register for a HM; guests don't actually purchase you a dinner or ziplining excursion or whatever. They THINK they do, but in actuality the website just cuts you a check, usually with a percentage taken out for themselves.

amymaysa · August 2012

Yes, b/c it's just another way of asking for cash money!

LiLe422 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:935e76ba-1998-438f-a751-e88989cef90a">Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE]I saw on a different board about a bride outright <strong>asking for money with a table set up, obviously rude.</strong> Posters went crazy attacking how tacky and rude and and and.... it was. <strong>My question is does this also apply to websites such as honeyfund being used ro a registry?</strong> TIA
Posted by JeVelasco[/QUOTE]

Also obviously rude. You would be asking for money just the same.

Jlp818 · August 2012

One of my close friends did a honeymoon registry and all of the guests loved the idea! They already had a house and most of the stuff they already needed for it so they did a small bed bath beyond and the honeymoon registry. We are not doing one but I don't see anything wrong with it.

deanna5776 · August 2012

I am doing a hm registry....I've been blasted on here by "etiquitte" rules but my close family and friends all agreed it was the smartest choice for me....

My fiance and I purchased a home 13 months ago and had a housewarming and between the 2 of us we pretty much had or got everything we need....also we are having my shower back home in CT and live in SC so getting gifts shipped back home would be crazy to do...

i am doing a very small registry at like target so people do have an option....

again this is my opinion and i dont need anyone yelling at me for it lol

Just remember its your day and you can do whatever you want to do. If someone doesnt want to get you an upgrade for your honeymoon then they can go get you a gift instead.....so for a shower i say go for it

There are several sites out there that do not charge a fee to the guests. And I know for a fact you can have the money go right to Sandals for certain things. Not sure on other resorts but that is where I am going.....

Alot of people who are against them have made judgements without fulling researching all the possibilities

there are always pros and cons....i could registry for a $100 mixer, get it use it once hate it and return it....is that also asking for cash...seeing as i returned it for cash...see what i mean

happy honeymooning

Deanna

zitiqueen · August 2012

And your friends and family would certainly tell you to your face if they thought you were being rude, right?

HobokensFury · August 2012

Yep. All honeymoon funds/ registeries are equally rude and tacky.

HobokensFury · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:504fb106-3209-48e0-89cb-680a97dbdb60">Re: Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE]I am doing a hm registry....I've been blasted on here by "etiquitte" rules but my close family and friends all agreed it was the smartest choice for me.... My fiance and I purchased a home 13 months ago and had a housewarming and between the 2 of us we pretty much had or got everything we need....also we are having my shower back home in CT and live in SC so getting gifts shipped back home would be crazy to do... i am doing a very small registry at like target so people do have an option.... again this is my opinion and i dont need anyone yelling at me for it lol Just remember its your day and you can do whatever you want to do. If someone doesnt want to get you an upgrade for your honeymoon then they can go get you a gift instead.....so for a shower i say go for it :) There are several sites out there that do not charge a fee to the guests. And I know for a fact you can have the money go right to Sandals for certain things. Not sure on other resorts but that is where I am going..... Alot of people who are against them have made judgements without fulling researching all the possibilities there are always pros and cons....i could registry for a $100 mixer, get it use it once hate it and return it....is that also asking for cash...seeing as i returned it for cash...see what i mean :) happy honeymooning :) Deanna
Posted by deanna5776[/QUOTE]

So you're ok with the registry taking part of your money and gifts? No HM registery is free- if they don't charge a fee to your guests they charge you at the end.

GoodLuckBear14 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:504fb106-3209-48e0-89cb-680a97dbdb60">Re: Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE]I am doing a hm registry....I've been blasted on here by "etiquitte" rules but my close family and friends all agreed it was the smartest choice for me.... My fiance and I purchased a home 13 months ago and had a housewarming and between the 2 of us we pretty much had or got everything we need....also we are having my shower back home in CT and live in SC so getting gifts shipped back home would be crazy to do... i am doing a very small registry at like target so people do have an option.... again this is my opinion and i dont need anyone yelling at me for it lol Just remember its your day and you can do whatever you want to do. If someone doesnt want to get you an upgrade for your honeymoon then they can go get you a gift instead.....so for a shower i say go for it :) There are several sites out there that do not charge a fee to the guests. And I know for a fact you can have the money go right to Sandals for certain things. Not sure on other resorts but that is where I am going..... Alot of people who are against them have made judgements without fulling researching all the possibilities there are always pros and cons....i could registry for a $100 mixer, get it use it once hate it and return it....is that also asking for cash...seeing as i returned it for cash...see what i mean :) happy honeymooning :) Deanna
Posted by deanna5776[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that's what people told my brother and SIL also. When my dad found out how they really work (after the wedding) we had to peel him off the ceiling.

saritak · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:504fb106-3209-48e0-89cb-680a97dbdb60">Re: Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE]....also we are having my shower back home in CT and live in SC so getting gifts shipped back home would be crazy to do...
Posted by deanna5776[/QUOTE]

<div>Wait, so are you expecting people to buy you stuff from your HM registry for your shower since you say getting gifts home would be a problem? You realize that the purpose of a shower is to shower the bride with (physical) gifts. </div><div>
</div><div>Also, the "getting the gifts shipped back home would be crazy to do" doesn't cut it. I live in SoCal and my shower was in WA . I took an empty suitcase with me on the plane. My guests were smart enough to buy me things that were easy to pack (placemats, small kitchen items, sheets, etc.), so it is conceivable to get things back home.</div><div>
</div><div>Andplusalso, we were 32 when we got married. We had lived on our own forever, lived together, bought a home, blah, blah, blah and still managed to register for upgrades and not be rude and ask for cash (aka a HM registry). Some people still gave us cash because, as is mentioned here quite often, people already know that cash is an acceptable gift without being deceived into it.</div><div>
</div><div>I am really tired of brides using excuse after excuse to justify their rude behavior in asking for cash. Your situation is not unique or special and countless brides have managed to receive cash without being rude or deceitful.</div>

Summer2011Bride · August 2012

No one's situation is different or unique, yet people always try to make it seem so. If you don't need anything for your house (which I find so hard to believe because there is always a "want" item you don't have or an upgrade to something you DO own that you could have), you could just not register at all, forego showers, and people will understand that cash is appreciated. Then you can take that cash and put it toward a HM, different trip, or whatever.

We lived together for 3 years beforehand, had accumulated pretty much all the stuff we "needed" for our apartment, but still found things to register for. Sure, we would have loved money for the HM, and we did use money we ended up receiving for dinners and what not while on the HM. Our guests ended up giving a generous amount of money as wedding gifts and this was with two traditional registries and no HM registry. AND we didn't offend any of our guests.

Again, no situation is that unique. Your loved ones won't tell you to your face, "Gee, that's a really tacky idea," and there ARE rules about weddings, called etiquette rules. It's not just "do whatever YOU want and screw your guests" day.

amymaysa · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:e64e9b7e-5d49-4a38-9309-a8ebb2b3e5c5">Re: Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeyfund question : <strong>Wait, so are you expecting people to buy you stuff from your HM registry for your shower since you say getting gifts home would be a problem? You realize that the purpose of a shower is to shower the bride with (physical) gifts.</strong> Also, the "getting the gifts shipped back home would be crazy to do" doesn't cut it. I live in SoCal and my shower was in WA . I took an empty suitcase with me on the plane. My guests were smart enough to buy me things that were easy to pack (placemats, small kitchen items, sheets, etc.), so it is conceivable to get things back home. Andplusalso, we were 32 when we got married. We had lived on our own forever, lived together, bought a home, blah, blah, blah and still managed to register for upgrades and not be rude and ask for cash (aka a HM registry). Some people still gave us cash because, as is mentioned here quite often, people already know that cash is an acceptable gift without being deceived into it. I am really tired of brides using excuse after excuse to justify their rude behavior in asking for cash. Your situation is not unique or special and countless brides have managed to receive cash without being rude or deceitful.
Posted by saritak[/QUOTE]

This is what I was going to ask too...just decline a shower. You aren't the first person to be living with their FI when getting married and have plenty of home goods...

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:504fb106-3209-48e0-89cb-680a97dbdb60">Re: Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE] Just remember its your day and you can do whatever you want to do.
Posted by deanna5776[/QUOTE]

This is the worst advice on the history of the planet.

MNVegas · August 2012

Asking for cash no matter how you disguise it is rude. Sorry, but there is no way to get around that no matter how you try to spin it.

wildchild57 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:b1e31a9c-2720-4ca3-9702-33c907531895">Re: Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeyfund question : So you're ok with the registry taking part of your money and gifts? No HM registery is free- if they don't charge a fee to your guests they charge you at the end.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

this is not technically true. I am using UNI Globe and their registry is free, as long as you use them to book your honeymoon. Otherwise it is a $150 fee.

Summer2011Bride · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:e6ace35c-8f07-4412-96fe-f1a2f514448b">Re: Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeyfund question : this is not technically true. I am using UNI Globe and their registry is free, <strong>as long as you use them to book your honeymoon. </strong>Otherwise it is a $150 fee.
Posted by wildchild57[/QUOTE]

So they are still making money off of you. I have yet to find a HM registry that just does for free--absolutely free--without getting anything in return. Even the Sandals one is making money because by using them, you are staying at one of their properties, and in turn, giving them money.

HobokensFury · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:e6ace35c-8f07-4412-96fe-f1a2f514448b">Re: Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeyfund question : this is not technically true. I am using UNI Globe and their registry is free, as long as you use them to book your honeymoon. Otherwise it is a $150 fee.
Posted by wildchild57[/QUOTE]

How is this different? They are still making money off of you.

deanna5776 · August 2012

Omg really people.....it's my opinion...I didn't bash any of you for yours....and actually yes my family is very honest to my face....my #1 wedding dress pick was called ugly and ornate by my own mother and aunt while i was standing in it in tears of joy....so I am pretty sure my close family is pretty darn truthful with me....but thanks for your input..... I will continue on with my plan to register for my hm upgrades and extras seeing as the trip is already fully paid for...so sandals gets my money either way....and it's free!!!!!!

xxjen015 · August 2012

If you want to register for the HM stuff, go for it! I did too. I created regular registries as well because there are other things that we need, but we created a HM registry also. As far as I'm concerned, if they're "offended" by it, they don't have to give me money through it. They can either choose not to get me a gift at all (which is fine, it is not a requirement to buy a wedding gift) or purchase something off of my regular registries. Some of you guys need to calm down, there's nothing wrong with being honest about what you need/could use.

allychase · August 2012

I know so many people who love the idea of a HM registry. They've all suggested I should do it, but we haven't decided our honeymoon yet so idk what I'll do. I know I actually do want to do excursions and I'd only register for ones I want to do, and if we get a credit for a certain amount then I'm going to do the excursions I wanted. You shouldn't do a HM registry if you don't actually want to do whats listed on it. It's a good idea because some guests don't like giving typical gifts. You're going to get a ton of cash AT the wedding anyway. By that token you shouldn't get a card box cause it's asking for money. It's one of those etiquette things that really doesn't stick with me

angel83121 · August 2012

Jesus Christ!!! Whether you scan Kitchen Aide's at Macy's, have a honeymoon registry, or just have a plain old greenback shower you're asking your guests for money of some sort....what are all the store items you people register for suddenly NOT costing any money!! This cracks me up, it's ok to ask some for $50 a piece bath towels but not to contribute to your honeymoon, which may not happen without a little help!?!? PLEASE...sweetie do what YOU want and don't listen to people telling you you're tacky or rude!!

allychase · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:47dd20ad-500e-447b-b331-d78ef94b1f8d">Re: Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE]Jesus Christ!!! Whether you scan Kitchen Aide's at Macy's, have a honeymoon registry, or just have a plain old greenback shower you're asking your guests for money of some sort....what are all the store items you people register for suddenly NOT costing any money!! This cracks me up, it's ok to ask some for $50 a piece bath towels but not to contribute to your honeymoon, which may not happen without a little help!?!? PLEASE...sweetie do what YOU want and don't listen to people telling you you're tacky or rude!!
Posted by angel83121[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yes. Thank you.

</div>

banana468 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:47dd20ad-500e-447b-b331-d78ef94b1f8d">Re: Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE]Jesus Christ!!! Whether you scan Kitchen Aide's at Macy's, have a honeymoon registry, or just have a plain old greenback shower you're asking your guests for money of some sort....what are all the store items you people register for suddenly NOT costing any money!! This cracks me up, it's ok to ask some for $50 a piece bath towels but not to contribute to your honeymoon, which may not happen without a little help!?!? PLEASE...sweetie do what YOU want and don't listen to people telling you you're tacky or rude!!
Posted by angel83121[/QUOTE]

You get that they're NOT the same thing, right?

A honeymoon is an optional luxury vacation.

A registry is supposed to help you set up your home with things that you NEED.

Don't get me wrong - I'm anti $500 gravy boats too. Your advice is completely inaccurate though.

angel83121 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ho neymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:a8b95e2d-5f4b-4643-9f12-87bb527bbe8f">Re: Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeyfund question : You get that they're NOT the same thing, right? A honeymoon is an optional luxury vacation. A registry is supposed to help you set up your home with things that you NEED. Don't get me wrong - I'm anti $500 gravy boats too. Your advice is completely inaccurate though.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

You know what, you're right!! Every couple most definitely needs China for 16 and crystal wine glasses to sit somewhere on display until the holidays! Or even better, one of those cute little ceramic cows to pour your milk from!! Please!!!!! Either way you look at it you're asking guests to spend money!! At least contributing to a honeymoon will help send the couple on a vacation they will remember forever! Know what I'm going to remember most about the household items I receive.....NOTHING!! Because it's just stuff, stuff you most likely don't NEED unless you've never made a life for yourself on your own!! Don't know anybody, unless they are getting married and have never left mommy and daddy's house that haven't already equipped themselves with what they NEED!!
So say whatever you would like about my advice, but as wrong or stupid as you think mine may be, just know that I find yours as equally "inaccurate"

banana468 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeyfund-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:443e88b5-b82a-4325-bc67-6a3803d4b86bPost:194c1e3e-f1a8-474c-a993-2ab9ad976098">Re: Honeyfund question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeyfund question : You know what, you're right!! Every couple most definitely needs China for 16 and crystal wine glasses to sit somewhere on display until the holidays! Or even better, one of those cute little ceramic cows to pour your milk from!! Please!!!!! Either way you look at it you're asking guests to spend money!! At least contributing to a honeymoon will help send the couple on a vacation they will remember forever! Know what I'm going to remember most about the household items I receive.....NOTHING!! Because it's just stuff, stuff you most likely don't NEED unless you've never made a life for yourself on your own!! Don't know anybody, unless they are getting married and have never left mommy and daddy's house that haven't already equipped themselves with what they NEED!! So say whatever you would like about my advice, but as wrong or stupid as you think mine may be, just know that I find yours as equally "inaccurate"
Posted by angel83121[/QUOTE]

Here's the difference: My advice follows proper etiquette. You're advising others to throw proper behavior to the wind.

You're still not getting it either. Setting up a home is a necessity. Many couples may be functioning just fine on their own but they don't have the finer things until they're married. DH and I didn't have China or crystal or nice sheets until we were married. We lacked nice appliances for the kitchen until that point as well. Those are items we use on a constant basis (yes, even the China!) and we also use them WITH those who purchased them for us.

The honeymoon is a 100% optional vacation. You don't need a honeymoon but if you're going to have guests, you need a way to serve them (and yourselves) a meal. When the honeymoon is over, you are left with photos and distant memories. The gifts on a registry are things that could last for generations.

You're simply not going to convince me that something over in 5 days is the same that can last 100 years.

Honeyfund question

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