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Illinois-Chicago

Advice for newly engaged couples...

barbbhowwbarbbhoww member
Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
edited September 2014 in Illinois-Chicago
I have a GOOD feeling that we will get a bunch of Christmas engagee's around these parts in the next couple of weeks...(I was one of them, 3 years ago!)

Let's put together a good list of advice for those newly engaged.  

:)
It's time. Adoption saving and process started in November 2012.
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Re: Advice for newly engaged couples...

  • awwww :) I was right after New Years two years ago!

    My advice:
    -don't feel pressured to pick a date right away, even though EVERYONE will ask you the second you get engaged if you've picked one
    -don't throw your own engagement party or ask someone to thrown you one, it's rude!
    -check to see if your ring is insured/if you can add it to your homeowners/renters ins.
    -tell your close family/friends before annoucing on facebook; they will appreciate it
    -don't announce your wedding date or subsequent wedding plans on FB unless you plan on inviting all your FB friends
    -don't feel like you need to ask your wedding party right away either; weddings cause people to act weird and you want to make sure your friends now will be your friends on your wedding day
    ruthejp13
  • - Dont let your mother stress you out....you just got engaged everyone is VERY EXCITED...it will die down :)
    - Take your time and research everything about everything....dont jump the gun with signing contracts
    - Agree with PP; tell close family/friends before posting on FB
    - Dont freak out about the little things, the only thing that matters is that you and your FI will be saying "I do".
    - Do your guest list before going to look at places or giving it to your parents (if your paying on your own). Once you have your list then be specific with your P's about the amount of people they can add....
    - When looking at places, you and your FI should first sit down and discuss what matters to the both of you for a wedding (our #1 thing was to be the only wedding). This can trim your list of places.....big time!!!!
    - HAVE FUN!!!!!! YOUR GETTING MARRIED....WHOO HOOO
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_advice-newly-engaged-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:e14f9a8e-c111-43de-88c1-252f6fea7945Post:29823b55-5b23-4f10-ab0b-3b6a7ce222d6">Re: Advice for newly engaged couples...</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>- Dont let your mother stress you out.</strong>...you just got engaged everyone is VERY EXCITED...it will die down :) - Take your time and research everything about everything....dont jump the gun with signing contracts - Agree with PP; tell close family/friends before posting on FB - Dont freak out about the little things, the only thing that matters is that you and your FI will be saying "I do". - Do your guest list before going to look at places or giving it to your parents (if your paying on your own). Once you have your list then be specific with your P's about the amount of people they can add.... - When looking at places, you and your FI should first sit down and discuss what matters to the both of you for a wedding (our #1 thing was to be the only wedding). This can trim your list of places.....big time!!!! - HAVE FUN!!!!!! YOUR GETTING MARRIED....WHOO HOOO
    Posted by divadancer11[/QUOTE]
    gosh, how could I have forgotten this one!
  • I agree with EVERYTHING PPs have said...especially the FB thing. Here are my additions:

    ~The day/night of the engagement call the essentials (we just called our parents). Then ENJOY your time together. You can spend the whole next day on the phone talking to everyone and telling them the details but it's nice to spend that special time with your new FI instead of on the phone with everyone you know.

    ~Everyone will have their two cents about your wedding. Listen to it all because some will be god advice, but don't be afraid to politely decline/disagree. It's your wedding in the end and the only ones who need to agree are you and your FI.
    Vacation
  • I was engaged Dec 22nd two years ago :)    I agree about telling close family and friends before the FB/twitter posts. It will be hard to restrain yourself, but just do it! I also started my knot account that night. And created a wedding email lol. It was so fun!
    BabyFruit Ticker www.MyVacationCountdown.com Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_advice-newly-engaged-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:72Discussion:e14f9a8e-c111-43de-88c1-252f6fea7945Post:0b470970-f3e4-48d3-8dd5-2ec17904b0cf">Re: Advice for newly engaged couples...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with EVERYTHING PPs have said...especially the FB thing. Here are my additions: ~<strong>The day/night of the engagement call the essentials (we just called our parents). Then ENJOY your time together. You can spend the whole next day on the phone talking to everyone and telling them the details but it's nice to spend that special time with your new FI instead of on the phone with everyone you know.</strong> ~Everyone will have their two cents about your wedding. Listen to it all because some will be god advice, but don't be afraid to politely decline/disagree. It's your wedding in the end and the only ones who need to agree are you and your FI.
    Posted by jsquared62009[/QUOTE]

    I wholeheartedly agree with all of this, especially the bolded.  I wish I had just enjoyed my engagement more.  Also, I think someone else mentioned this, but do your entire guestlist (meaning your's, FI's, and both sets of parents') before anything else related to wedding planning.  This would have saved me a lot of time, headaches, and tears later on!!!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I agree with others about telling the important people and then enjoying your time together.  We got engaged in the morning, called our parents and siblings after.  Then we each agreed to just call best friends and that was it on that day.  The rest of the day and night we just enjoyed together.

    -I know Amy talked about picking dates; on the flip-side, if you DO have a particular date that is important to you, I would start creating a guest list and looking at venues as soon as you can.  We knew we wanted our wedding date to be 10/16, our dating anniversary, and we were engaged 14months prior to it, yet pretty much all of the venues we could afford were already booked

    -Don't ask your wedding party too early, unfortunately friendships do change.  We attended two weddings this year that prior to the wedding, the bride had told me she wished she hadn't asked one of her friends to be a BM.  At the time of the engagement they were close, but a year later, they barely talk.

    -Start a guestlist <this pretty much dictates big items like budget, venue, etc.

    -Try to wait until less than a year before your wedding to start dress shopping: Yes, it's enticing to go look, but a lot of times when brides buy more than a year out they change their mind or get bored with their choice and want to go look again.
  • -Take some time and ENJOY BEING ENGAGED before you start jumping into dresses, venues, cakes and flowers.  Once you start, it's hard to stop.

    -Speaking of doing stuff, before you do anything, talk to your FI and envision your day-spring or fall, indoors or outdoors, black or brown, and come up with your ideal plan so that you have a cohesive picture of want you want before you start meeting with vendors and venues. 

    -Start thinking about paying for it.  If you are going to pay for it yourselves, figure out how.  If someone else is contributing, thank them profusely and remember that they also get some say in how your event goes. 

    -Don't play the "this is MY wedding" card.  Nobody wants to hear that, ever.

    -Choose your bridal party carefully, and wait until closer to the wedding to do so.  TK (the knot) is full of brides posting that they now regret their bridal party choices.  I totally agree with the previous posts on this subject!

    -Pick a venue that can hold your guest list instead of making a guest list to fit inside your venue.   

    -Have a no wedding talk night every week.  Don't let wedding plans consume your relationship.

    Last but not least, have fun and enjoy this special time in your lives!

     
    BabyFruit Ticker
    plentyofus
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