Gahhhh!!!! Crazy family and wedding showers

melb2013 · March 2012

Sorry for all the posts- I hope they're entertaining and not annoying!

I was talking to my SIL (the crazy one who's getting married in the fall). She told me I had been invited to her cousin's bridal shower (the $200,000 wedding in April), but that the invitation had been returned. The cousin never bothered to call me or FI for my correct address. They sent it to my FI's address, but we don't live together, so that's why it was returned. The shower (a 2 day shower/bachlorette party) is in two weeks. They still haven't told me that I was invited... do I have to send a present?

Then my SIL told me that one of her other bridesmaids (yes, I'm unfortunetely also a bridesmaid) wants to have a bridal shower for her. Alright, fine. I know I wont' be asked how much I could contribute- at some point they'll just tell me how much I owe. Which annoys me...

Then she asked when I wanted a bachlorette party and shower. I said that I had decided I didn't want either. And she got so upset! She says that's she's going to throw me something anyway. No matter how much I thanked her and said that it just wasn't for me, she kept insisting! Isn't this suppose to be my decision? The more I said no, the more insulted she seemed to be. It was like my not wanting to have these things meant that I thought she shouldn't either. Crazy person!

That's my rant! I'm sick and home from the snow, so I thought I'd share.

SSaltzman87 · March 2012

I'm SO sorry that you're surrounded by all of this crazy.

I guess I'd wait to find out if you are indeed invited to that shower before you decide to send a gift or not.

As far as your own shower/bachelorette party, technically it is up to your SIL and the rest of your BMs to plan them- but that doesn't mean they shouldn't consider your wants and needs too. It's REALLY early to even be talking about them IMO.

melb2013 · March 2012

It's way too early to talk about it! But I'm glad she actually asked this time- she planned an engagement party and didn't tell us about it until after she invited 50 people! At the time I thought it was nice, even though if they had asked I would have said no, but now I just wish she would actually listen to my wishes. Nobody in my family has ever had a shower and there would be a lot of eyebrows raised if I did it. Also, I just don't care to have one! Gahhh!!!

I apparently am invited to this cousin's shower, since the invitation was sent, but I didin't receive it. I guess I'll buy something...

FLGatorGal88 · March 2012

Lol... My goodness!!! Your FSIL is over the top. It is your decision if you dont want to have a bridal shower or bachlorette party. If you are having a $200,000 wedding what in the world could you possibly need?!?! I don't think you should send a gift honestly. Technically you didn't receive the invite so I look at it as you haven't been officially invited. About her bridal shower and bachlorette party I don't think that it's right for them to tell you how much you should pay they also need to keep in mind you are planning and paying for your own wedding too. I think I would say something to the other bridesmaid who is planning this and see what all she has planned and ask her what she is wanting you to contribute or help out with. I don't know how you are dealing with all of this I would tore a few people's heads off by now. GL!!!

hisbabygirl76 · March 2012

Sorry about the craziness.

and your posts arent annoying

I have tried to make it clear to my FMIL and my BM's that I do not by any means want a shower or bachlorette party. Wether they will listen or not I have no idea.

I still cant fathom a 200,000 wedding EEEEKKK

melb2013 · March 2012

I've never met the other bridesmaid who's planning this shower. What do you guys think I should do about it? I wouldn't even know how to contact her. In fact, all the other bridesmaids are SIL's friends and non live near her so I've never met any of them... If we're going to do this, I would like to know what I'm paying for.

melb2013 · March 2012

*none live near her

hisbabygirl76 · March 2012

I would ask FSIL if you could have some contact info and then reach out to them and ask them what their plans are for the shower/party whatevet they are planning. Its not right for them to stick you with a set amount that they have no idea if you can afford or not.

I agree with FL Id be wanting to tear some heads off.

RebCappon · March 2012

Sorry for all the craziness.

I would maybe send something small as a gift since they didn't really bother to get in touch with you about the invitation being returned.

For your shower/bachelorette I would maybe mention to your mom or FMIL that you're not really interested in doing anything. Or maybe ask your mom to send it along that it would raise eyebrows in your family. That way maybe they won't think you are being ungracious.

I would like to know, what does a $200,000 wedding look like?! I can't even imagine!

melb2013 · March 2012

I think I am going to send a present... I guess I'll feel badly if I don't.

Good idea telling my FMIL about the shower thing. I'll mention that next time I see her.

$200,000 is a three day wedding, the last of which is 16 hours long and includes two full meals. There's a meal on each of the other two days They're renting horses for the welcome processional. She'll probably have at least 4 different dresses, maybe more. OH and I just found out- the 3 hour ceremony is all outside... in the morning... on April 7th... in north Jersey... we're going to freeze to death

SSaltzman87 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_gahhhh-crazy-family-and-wedding-showers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:47231a71-3550-4a70-96bf-e4a85e037840Post:24a9ef5e-596b-4af8-b878-5bf0b0174d36">Re: Gahhhh!!!! Crazy family and wedding showers</a>:
[QUOTE] OH and I just found out- the 3 hour ceremony is all outside... in the morning... on April 7th... in north Jersey... we're going to freeze to death
Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]
Oh hail no!!! 3 hours!?<div>
</div><div>That'd be insane to do in MN too since our weather is unpredictable no matter what the seasons.</div>

mymissingpuzzlepiece · March 2012

Jeez, that's sh!tty. I would be so pissed if someone tried to force me to have a bachelorette party. I don't want one either... and FI doesn't want a bachelor party, it's just not us. We want to have a special pre-wedding day to ourselves, like a super special date. If I were you, I'd make sure that they know how you feel and tell them you are not budging on it and they better leave it alone.

They have no right to push you around like that.

SRRL18 · March 2012

Crazyness!

I don't think I'd send a gift to the shower you were invited to since you never got the actualy invite.

About for FSILs shower... Well, if it were me planning a shower, I wouldn't expect anyone else to help pay for it. When someone decideds to host a party that PERSON should host it and not expect others to help.

About your shower/bacherlorette, I'd say let her plan it and enjoy being spoiled!

Gahhhh!!!! Crazy family and wedding showers

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