Some background: I'm back in Barbados after being gone for 5 years. As hard as it is for independent me to admit, making social connections - whether fresh or renewing - kind of matters to me right now, in re-establishing that sense of 'home'.
An old friend of mine from secondary school, let's call him 'A', and I have really reconnected, along with a couple others we hang with. I didn't realise how much A's renewed friendship has meant to me until it hit me last night that his little girlfriends keep messing it up. That is to say, not the girls so much, but his attitude and approach with them.
I give you examples: A couple months ago, before my trip back to the US, psyho-ex-girlfriend tries to start a confrontation with me, after arguing with him over her belief that he must be sleeping with me. Last night, he gets grumpy and starts to argue with me because I didn't drop him home earlier, after his new gf messages, upset that he is still out while she is at home sick. (It wasn't just me he was out with, just that I was his ride. And did I mention, it had been *his* idea to go to a second spot?)
He's asked several times for advice with both situations, and I've always tried to steer him towards happiness by getting away from these crazy girls. But last night it hit me - it's him. When I told him he was being ridiculous, he told me I was just jealous because I don't have anyone to message me all the time asking where I am.
. He seems to thrive on behavior bordering on obssessive. Perhaps it makes him feel wanted. Perhaps that's why, at almost 26, he'd rather deal with the annoying antics of an immature 19-year-old (learnt that part last night too).
Sigh. I'm admittedly being selfish here, not so much thinking about his happiness anymore at the moment, inwardly throwing a "leave the stupid girls alone & just have a good time with me & the crew!!" tantrum. I've already concluded that at some point, I'll tell him what I think, and then maintain appropriate distance while this crap continues. But.
!!