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+1's

FI GuyFI Guy
in Iowa-Quad Cities

I'm new to the boards, and I'm trying to help my bride-to-be plan the wedding, but she tends to get into this mode of making decisions without me, which maybe that's normal, and there are somethings I'm not really that concerned with (linens, flowers, etc.).

However she made the decision that guests would not be allowed to bring dates unless they had been with the person X amount of time.

Now I've been in the wedding party in like half a dozen weddings in the past 6-7 years, and been invited to plenty more, and every wedding I've ever been invited to has allowed me to bring a guest.  Granted I never brought a guest unless it was someone I was seriously dating or the person was a close friend, but I always had that option.

Now she tells me "it's tradition" to selectively tell people who is and who isn't allowed a +1.  Has anybody out there ever heard of this tradition?

I've chosen to grit my teeth and deal with this thus far, but I am not looking forward to telling my single friends that they have to come alone and their friends/significant others they meet between now and the wedding aren't welcome.

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Re: +1's

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    madstaylormadstaylor member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Were sort of doing the same thing.. We have a big group of friends who are still single and we are going to put them all at the same tables, not allowing for them to bring a date. Also, we have some of those friends who have since started dating since we came up with the number of guests e were having that wont be bringing a date because we have filled those "date" spots with other people that we really want to be there. So I guess its up toy you, depending how many people you are having you might have left over spots to use on optional dates, if not, id invite the people you really care about. Odds are the single people without dates will know others there they can talk to.
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    hz80408hz80408 member
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    edited December 2011
    We didn't allow every guest to have +1s, but anyone who was dating someone at the time we sent out the invites was given a date.  It's rude not to do so and there's not clean cut "oh they've been together 6 months so they get one".

    That being said, we didn't allow any of our single guests to bring dates.

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    libby_9789libby_9789
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree that there is a certian limit that you can put on the people but typically if you are inviting them you know whether or not they are seriously dating someone. If you send out the invitation and know they are not seriously dating someone you can address it to them only and if they feel the desire to bring them they will RSVP with more.

    If they are dating someone, then it is proper ettiquitte to put their name and guest or their dates name.

    There are soooo many websites out there with the proper invitation ettiquitte, I know I had to check them when my fiance's step-mom wanted her guests to be addressed with first and last name of both parties and no "Mr. Mrs. or Miss". Urrrgggg..
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    KatonersKatoners
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    If you have decided to not include +1s be prepared  that some people with still RSVP with a +1. This has happened with a lot of my friends's weddings and then you have to decide to just let it slide or to let the guest know that they were invited alone. 
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    vigneslevignesle member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    IMO HUGE etiquette no-no!!! It's extremely rude to tell guess that because they haven't been dating someone for X amount of time they're not allowed to bring them. All single friends should be allowed to bring a date, most of them won't but they have to be given the option. What's going to happen is people are going to bring dates anyways or are going to find out some people could bring dates and others couldn't. NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!
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