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Catholic Weddings

NFP Help

Hello Ladies,

I normally Lurk on the board, but FI and I were talking this weekend about our Engagement Encounter coming up in a few months which includes a session on NFP. We don't normally talk about sex and things to much since we are waiting and it's hard enough without discussing it all the time. Either way, when I brought it to him he said that one of his friends did it and got pregnant 3 months after they were married. I told him they probably didn't do something right cause my sister did it for 2 years successfully.

What are your success stories?? How did discuss this with you SO??

Re: NFP Help

  • edited December 2011
    We have been practicing NFP for 7 months now without fail. However, we follow the rules conservatively. I have found that a lot of the people who 'accidentally' get pregnant often take risks and end up blaming the system regardless of what they are doing to avoid pregnancy.

    You have to follow the rules for the system to be effective - just like if you don't use a condom every time or forget take your BCP every day the failure rate is most often due to user error not the method. There are a lot of success stories both of acheiving and avoiding pregnancy using NFP - I'm sure the other ladies will be happy to share their stories.

    I suggest you take the course together and let the experts explain not only how it works but WHY you should practice NFP as a Catholic. Then talk it over together in the context of your future family - when to have children, who will take care of them, etc. Its not exactly a 'sexy' conversation but so important.

    We discussed it after it was brought it up in our Pre-Cana course.  We both wanted to do the right thing morally and after learning about it in class, then talking about it both together and with our Priest we knew it was the only choice for us. Like your FI, my H was concerned about efficacy and is now very comfortable with the method.

    HTH!
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  • edited December 2011
    We just had our first marriage preparation class on Saturday and they briefly mentioned NFP. The lady that spoke was telling us that you learn how to listen to your body's signals. She has only had 6 fertile cycles in her life and the NFP helped to give her four kids, that's an amazing statistic.
    I must agree with PP.
    The other thing they mentioned is that you might have to have long periods of abstaining, so if you know you are not ready for children that might be your best bet.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    i am on cycle 16 or 17 of NFP, and not only have i not gotten pregnant, i havent even had a close call.  but, we practice the "when in doubt, dont" method.  meaning, there's probably days where we'd be ok, but if we dont have all signs giving us the green light, we play it safe and abstain one or two more days.

    as another poster said, the method usually fails due to user error - just like any other method of bc.

    we abstained for a good 3 months when i was learnign the method, until i got the feel for how it worked, got a handle on the patterns, etc.  perhaps your FI's friend did not do this?  if you have a cycle that has issues or irregularities, you may need more time.  it was definteily worth the intitial investment of abstaining, as hard as it was.

    where you have 10 months until you marry, i HIGHLY recommend starting to chart now.  that way, you will have a good feel come your wedding as to how it all works.  i self taught myself (as did others here) using Taking Charge of your Fertility.  i found taht to be a great way, as hte book was taught with basic scientific methods rather than religous background.  i knew why we should do NFP, but i wanted the medical informaion on how it all worked.  this might be a good way to sell it to your FI.  or, he can come on here and we'll tell him how great it is ourselves!  :-)
  • caitriona87caitriona87 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    As PP's mentioned, most of the "surprise" pregnancies come from not following the rules. The other thing is that with NFP you can change your mind at any time or choose to take a risk, knowing the possibility of pregnancy is there. So any of those is possible.

    We used NFP for 8 months TTA, then stopped TTA but were not actively TTC and conceived on the second month of that. I know people who've avoided using NFP for a lot longer, but our serious reasons had ended and we felt it was time to welcome a child if God wanted to send us one. (Of course, the first thing we were asked by certain people was "Oh, was it an NFP failure?" I can't believe anyone thinks this is their business.)
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:9182ed43-b9e1-4362-b5dc-a5df52230fd8Post:024d15b2-3e3f-4b5d-b24f-b97eda7cd50b">Re: NFP Help</a>:
    [QUOTE]As PP's mentioned, most of the "surprise" pregnancies come from not following the rules. The other thing is that with NFP you can change your mind at any time or choose to take a risk, knowing the possibility of pregnancy is there. So any of those is possible. We used NFP for 8 months TTA, then stopped TTA but were not actively TTC and conceived on the second month of that. I know people who've avoided using NFP for a lot longer, but our serious reasons had ended and we felt it was time to welcome a child if God wanted to send us one.<strong> (Of course, the first thing we were asked by certain people was "Oh, was it an NFP failure?" I can't believe anyone thinks this is their business.)</strong>
    Posted by caitriona87[/QUOTE]

    What's really unfortunate is that their first thought was that this baby was some how a mistake and not a welcome gift from God.
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks Ladies. We both want kids.. and a few of them. Adoption is on the table for us even if we have our own, but we want at least a year or two with eachother before we do that. I'm all about the medical approach with him. I think he just needs to know how and why it's so effective.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    DF, its the best choice i ever made.  my only regret is not starting years ago.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:9182ed43-b9e1-4362-b5dc-a5df52230fd8Post:d2cbad8a-da95-4926-8800-952986aeea1a">Re: NFP Help</a>:
    [QUOTE]DF, its the best choice i ever made.  my only regret is not starting years ago.
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    This! I completely agree.
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  • edited December 2011

    Like Calypso, I think NFP is the best choice I could have made regarding family planning.  I haven't ever been on the Pill or another form of contraception, so I don't have that to compare to.  But the amount of knowledge I've gained about my body has been priceless.  I now know whether my body is ovulating, around what day I'm likely ovulating.  I have been able to tell from my charts that I had some sort of medical problem (I have PCOS), and have been able to tell whether my medication was working -- the difference in the look of my charts before and after beginning metformin was amazing, and I could totally tell that the medicine was helping my body.  It's so empowering to know so much about my body.

    There are some scientific studies out there examining the efficacy of NFP and finding, as PPs said, that most "failures" are user failures (i.e., not following the rules) rather than method failures.  Here's a study published in 2007 by German researchers, for instance, that found a 99.4 percent method efficacy rate -- http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/short/22/5/1310. This is not the only study out there, either.

    (Edited to add that there are user failures with NFP, just like any other method.  And it's true that some people don't like it.  But as far as method failures go, those are apparently the statistics.)

    If I were in your shoes (and I once was), I'd start learning the basics of NFP now.  It's much easier to begin learning your body's fertile signs while you are abstaining.  Good luck!

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    NFP has actual higher effective rates than any other kind of ABC. (clinical use)
  • bel138bel138 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    gulfcoaster & agapecarrie, YGPM.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    i want PM.  :-(
  • bel138bel138 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sorry, calypso. It really wasn't anything cool or exciting. TMI time. We've been trying TCYOF and it's just not working for me. My CM is virtually all the same, and my temps don't confirm ovulation. My cyles are long, but all within 2 days, which would suggest ovulation. I want to try Creighton with a real instructor, and had seen both of them post about it. Just wanted to ask them some questions they may not feel comfortable answering on the board.
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  • edited December 2011
    Hi, I don't know much at all about NFP. I know the idea of it, but I don't know exactly what I need to be looking for and such. What are good resources for learning about it? I have always had a very irregular period, so a doctor put me on BCPs, and I'd like to go off them and see if I could make NFP work, but I would be terrified of getting pregnant because know we should wait through at least a few years of marriage before we'll be even close to ready for a baby.  What is FAM? I saw someone post about that too, and the Crighton method?  I also didn't recognize some of the abbrevieations: YGPM & PM.  Any thoughts, advice, or resourses would be appriciated. Thanks.
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    The pill is not "regularizing" your period. You don't have a period on the pill, you have what looks like one.

    There are 4 different advanced methods of NFP that are extremely effective in avoiding and achieving pregnancy. MORE SO than any kind of Artificial Birth control. These methods of NFP are designed FOR irregular cycles. If your cycle is regular, you wouldn't need symptom based NFP because you would know when you are fertile simply by the calendar.

    The different methods are different as they use different symptoms to track fertility.

    Billings and Creighton use cervical mucous only. Creighton is derived from billings, but is a standardized way of teaching, learning, medically based and used for diagnosing and treating issues. Creighton MUST be taught by an instructor. Creighton also helps in looking at the issues with CM changes, and constant CM, how to tell the difference.  (Bel, creighton will teach you to see very small different changes in your CM, even though it may not seem so at first). Creighton is constant, same way to observel, every time, all the time, no variance.

    Sympto thermal method uses 4 different symptoms to help cross check-- External and internal mucous, Basal body temp, and cervix check. These are not scientific observations as its not every time all the time, and illness can skew the temp numbers. This method works very well for some and gives comfort for those wanting cross check symptoms, but the problem is that some rely too much on the cross check signs instead of the first and only MAIN sign, which is CM.

    Marquette method is basically Creighton method with a particular fertility monitor.

    FAM is basically like sympto-thermal, but it talks about using ABC during fertile times. This makes NO sense to me, because the stats for ABC in general do not take into account that more than 3/4 of the time a woman couldn't have gotten pregnant anyway. To use ABC during the fertile time is extremely risky for achieving pregnancy.

    No matter which method you choose, I highly recommend going to a teacher. Some you can't learn without one.

    www.omsoul.com
    http://www.creightonmodel.com/
    http://ccli.org/
  • clearheavensclearheavens member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:9182ed43-b9e1-4362-b5dc-a5df52230fd8Post:05e03118-db9a-4f0c-b45a-5ae55e30806d">Re: NFP Help</a>:
    [QUOTE]NFP has actual higher effective rates than any other kind of ABC. (clinical use)
    Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

    <div>Agreed!  There's many medical studies that support that NFP has the highest method effectiveness.  See <a href="http://ccli.org/nfp/effectiveness/index.php" target="_blank">here</a> for more information.</div><div>
    </div><div>For those on the fence about using NFP and are doing more research on its effective rates, make sure you know <strong>the difference between method effectiveness and user effectiveness</strong>.  Method effectiveness assumes its "perfect use" and user effectiveness is based on the actual practices of the couples using the method.  It refers to all pregnancies occurring during a study during all of its months, which includes incorrect and correct application of a method and its rules.</div>
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:9182ed43-b9e1-4362-b5dc-a5df52230fd8Post:dcbb0f99-8dbb-42a8-9165-21aebe1b8627">Re: NFP Help</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NFP Help : Agreed!  There's many medical studies that support that NFP has the highest method effectiveness.  See  here  for more information. For those on the fence about using NFP and are doing more research on its effective rates, make sure you know the difference between method effectiveness and user effectiveness .  Method effectiveness assumes its "perfect use" and user effectiveness is based on the actual practices of the couples using the method.  It refers to all pregnancies occurring during a study during all of its months, which includes incorrect and correct application of a method and its rules.
    Posted by clearheavens[/QUOTE]

    I also want to mention something that I referred to earlier...

    ABC effective rates are NOT real stats. It is impossible...this is why. I realize no statistics are perfect, however...

    A condom is used over the course of a month, and let's say 2 pregnancies result out of a 100 couples, so the statistic they use is saying its 98% effective.

    However, these women MIGHT HAVE only conceived maybe 5 days out of the month. and even then we don't know if there would have been a conception if the woman was fertile.

    -the condom is getting credit for "preventing" a pregnancy which 5/6+ of the time wouldn't have occurred anyway. 2% of 1/6 is a lot higher "failure" rate.

    A better statistic would be to see how many "failures" would occur if only fertile times were taken into account.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011

    oh, ok bel!  haha.  yeah, ill talk about anything on here....  :-)

    sorry to hear you are struggling with nfp!!!  persistence, and maybe a good nfp doc will hopefully help you.  i want you to experience all of the greatness that we do!

  • bel138bel138 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I'm not shy about the human body at all. I sent an email to the local FertilityCare instructor, a nurse, who comes highly recommended by one of my attendings. Sympto-thermal just isn't cutting it. We currently "experience all of the greatness" once every 6 weeks due to my cycle, and it's getting old.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    oh, boy, that stinks!  i hope it all works out.
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