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Foccus

Kristine0622Kristine0622
10 Comments
in Catholic Weddings
My FI and I met with our priest yesterday and he gave us each the FOCCUS questions, and a computer scanner thingy to fill our answers out on. He specifically said "You can't flunk" but the fact that it's so test-ish is stressing me out.

Any advice on how to not stress out about it so much? It's something that's required so I don't really have a choice in the matter, and I'm sure that it's a great discussion prompter, but I feel a bit like I'm being judged. Has anyone else done it? Advice?
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Re: Foccus

  • ellen73ellen73
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's really not a big deal.  It was created by marriage counselors and the hit on the points that couples usually fight over. Money, kids, values, religion, etc.   Like you said, it's to foster communication if you haven't already talked about certain topics.   The big differences between DH and I seemed to be either over details or questions that had a definite answer (yes or no) and we put maybe thinking that discussion wasn't finished yet.  We completed the survey about 5 months before the wedding (2 months after we were engaged), and it gave us a month or so to talk about all of that stuff in more detail before our pre-Cana day.  

    Relax and enjoy the conversations!!  

    Edit- my profile picture is not of me!! that is really weird.  OK- now it is.  but it was of some random couple. 
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  • lisa89760lisa89760 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    It shouldn't be stressful.  You aren't really "graded" even.  Your answers are compared and then you talk about it.  My FI and I had a lot of questions not match up just because one of us read the question differently so the discussion actually was the best part.  We actually both found it helpful in our discussions and I felt even more on the same page with him after taking it.

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  • MopsieBMopsieB member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I found it useful and interesting. It's just one pre-marital tool that couples should use to help them focus on each other and identify any potential issues. Absolutely nothing to be nervous about and it's always fun to learn something new about your partner!
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