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jaschelle · May 2012

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brittneyh4 · May 2012

I'd laugh in their faces. I'm sorry, but that's absolutely ridiculous, and as long as you're not being trashy (bra and underwear type clothing, which is sounds like you clearly don't), I wouldn't change a thing. I would expect FI to stick up for me as well. I don't wear a lot of super revealing clothes, but I have a large bust and can't help that some shirts show a little more cleavage. Not much, FI wishes it was more (lol).. so if someone told me, as an adult, how to dress, I instantly get peeved.

June, Hawaii, and you must be that covered up?

This is why we're honeymooning in Hawaii and not having a DW. We both wanted one, but didn't want to spend our honeymoon with our family. lol.

janeash · May 2012

HA! That is riduculous to say the least. What a joke. It's your wedding....do what you want. If you dress respectfully, I see no reason why you can't wear your normal clothes. I agree with PP.....your FI should stick up for you as well.

PS: Are you getting married on Kauai (I know you said your HM is there)? I am getting married on Maui.

diamondx423 · May 2012

Woahhhh what a controlling lady. If this is all about respect, how on earth is she respecting you?

daria24 · May 2012

Grandma is clearly bonkers. If this hostility is a new character trait, it could be due to dementia. I have to side with her on the Registhat hotel is WAY too expensive! The whole North Shore is. As far as what you wear during the week, screw grandma. If you and your FI feel you are properly clothed FI a TROPICAL ISLAND thats all that matters. Have smelling salts on hand in case granny gets the vapors. I have quite a few crabby elderly wedding guests. I'll smile, nod, shrug my shoulders and move on to the next guest.

abunger · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_grandma-gives-bride-dress-code?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:cf182cad-6570-482f-88ec-4eddca933487Post:37ac9ebf-4a8f-42d4-8b17-1b81d8a33c9d">Re:Grandma gives Bride Dress Code!</a>:
[QUOTE].<strong> If this hostility is a new character trait, it could be due to dementia</strong>. .
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

<div>This is exactly what I was thinking...</div>

MoonlightSilver · May 2012

I was going to suggest mental illness too. If grandma has always been sweet and loving, and this is suddnely popping up, something must have changed.

You are a grown adult and have NO obligation to have your clothing "checked' by your FMIL. I would politely decline to send her any pictures of clothing choices in the future.

I would mention that you plan to wear appropriate clothing for a Hawaiian vacation/wedding once to grandma/FMIL and then refuse to talk about it again. "Thank you for your concern, FI grandma. Have you tried the bean dip?"

If they say they wont come to the wedding because of your clothing choices at this point, call them on their bluff. And honestly, if they don't show, you might be better off than dealing with people telling you what to wear all week.

michellep1 · May 2012

Wow that is unbelievable. I just had to go vent to FI about this because I'm so mad FOR you! Don't let her tell you what to wear! As PPs have said, as long as you don't dress skanky there's nothing more you need to do. You are a grown woman, what makes her think she can tell you what to wear, or that your outfits need to be approved? I also can't believe FMIL is subjecting you to that, especially if she agrees with you!!

If I was in this situation I would just respectfully tell FI or FMIL "I am not changing my entire wedding/honeymoon attire to please her" and then stay as far away from the grandmother as possible. Enjoy your family and friends on your day and don't let his grandmother ruin it for you. If she makes comments to people, everyone will know that its not you, its her.

precamies · May 2012

oookay, not cool. I don't think I wouldn't deal with that kind of controlling. she's entitled to have an opinion, but the fact that she has an issue with her husband doesn't mean that you should be dressing like and Amish girl on your Hawaii honeymoon. (not trying to be mean to Amish girls, they're sweet. there's a lot of them in Indiana..)
It seems to me that it's not really a matter of you being proper, but of her feeling safe. you seem lto have taken this with very calm spirits so far, going by the flow. and frankly, I admire you for that, I wouldn't have had nearly as much patience. But don't let this mess up your trip, please. spend time away from them if you need to. your hubby and you should be spending some alone time there anyway.

brittneyh4 · May 2012

Good for your FI to stick up for you... but to go with your to approve your clothing and tell his mom, and then her say to send a pic? If it were me I would send a pic in lingerie, but I have no tact

I wouldn't send any pics of approval. I would do what PPs suggested. I'm still in shock over this. I understand grandmothers being upset over trashy clothing, especially when the bride prances around in barely-there everythings. But it sounds like you dress pretty similar to I do. No avoiding/hiding boobs that are as big as yours. You just can't. I used to get a lot of 'are those fake' questions, but I gained some weight and now it's all proportionate. Just dress how you feel comfortably and enjoy yourself!

niknik15 · May 2012

My mom has given up on trying to give me a dress code, but when I was living with her, she had about the same rules, except skirts were required and I couldn't wear pants. I'm a 34DD so I feel the pain of trying to find stuff that works that you are still comfortable in.

On the other hand, she doesn't have the right to tell you what to wear. I would have just told her not to go if she isn't comfortable with what you are wearing.

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