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Bridal and Bachelorette party etiquette:

ichukhmanichukhman member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hello,

 

I have someone planning both parties for me.  I would like to invite some people that are not invited to the wedding.   I reconnected or met them recently and can’t afford to invite them, unless a certain number of people cancel.  

 

Can I explain to them that they are not invited to the wedding and why and that I would love it if they came to the other events like a bachelorette party or bridal shower?

 

Thanks

Inessa!

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Re: Bridal and Bachelorette party etiquette:

  • Stackeye210Stackeye210 member
    5000 Comments
    It would be very rude to do this.
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  • btrflykate1230btrflykate1230 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    It would be poor etiquette to invite anyone to a pre-wedding party if they are not invited to said wedding.
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  • MCarmineMCarmine member
    500 Comments
    Please don't do that. It's mean.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    You may not invite them to pre wedding parties and then not the wedding.  
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  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    Do not do this.
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  • FutureMrsTRFutureMrsTR
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary
    That would be ridiculous, insulting and rude.  What exactly would you tell them?  "Hey, so I'm not going to pay for you to come to my wedding, but it would be great if you could pay to come to my parties and buy me presents, kthanxbye!"
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-bachelorette-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:981bca34-5876-4539-a793-0975de29bfcbPost:70edd49d-30c5-4289-ae67-6f9ab6c700f1">Bridal and Bachelorette party etiquette:</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello,   I have someone planning both parties for me.   I would like to invite some people that are not invited to the wedding.    I reconnected or met them recently and can’t afford to invite them, unless a certain number of people cancel.      Can I explain to them that they are not invited to the wedding and why and that I would love it if they came to the other events like a bachelorette party or bridal shower?   Thanks Inessa!
    Posted by ichukhman[/QUOTE]

    No, it would be very rude.

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  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    The rule is that if they're not invited to the wedding, they're not invited to any wedding-related event.

    Inviting them to the shower and not the wedding says, "Please buy me stuff even though I don't consider you a close enough friend to get invited to my wedding."

    Inviting them to the bachelorette party and not the wedding says, "Please come spend money on me to celebrate getting married in a few days. You know, when you won't be there."
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  • Galaxy8227Galaxy8227
    2500 Comments
    I would be really insulted if someone did this to me.  It says you're not good enough to be at my wedding, but you're good enough to spend money on me, totally lame. 
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  • LoveBugBabyLoveBugBaby member
    100 Comments

    I agree with everyone above! DO NOT DO THAT!

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  • goheels05goheels05
    2500 Comments
    It's better just to not mention it at all and don't invite them.
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  • kristinalilykristinalily
    100 Comments
    Yeah it sucks. Because I moved a couple months ago and have become very close to some people...but I can't invite them to the wedding so I'mnot inviting them to other things either.
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  • ichukhmanichukhman member
    First Comment
    Thanks everyone. ...  I was just thinking about what the etiquette was...    I think you are all right. I was just wondering if there was a way to bypass that rule :D I guess not...
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  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-bachelorette-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:981bca34-5876-4539-a793-0975de29bfcbPost:794f782f-7521-47c1-9810-40b742a7f660">Re: Bridal and Bachelorette party etiquette:</a>:
    [QUOTE] I was just wondering if there was a way to bypass that rule :D I guess not...
    Posted by ichukhman[/QUOTE]

    You won't find that on the <u>etiquette</u> board.
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