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April 2012 Weddings
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What would you do?

SarahA2bSarahA2b
10 Comments
in April 2012 Weddings
FI has a brother that has an on again off again gf.  She's been invited to the wedding, and we have talked about it, so I know she knows about it.  Last weekend they were talking, this weekend they are not.  So you get my drift....Will she be there or not?  What do I do with my seating chart?  I really don't want to wait until the day of to make it. 
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Re: What would you do?

  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    Your FI needs to call his brother and demand a firm answer. Explain that you need a firm headcount because of seating arrangments and paying for food. Have him say that if you guys have not received a definitive answer by _____ that you will have no choice but to list her as not attending. 

    I had this same issue with one of FI's groomsmen. His wife is not very social, so we didn't think she'd come, plus they have 4 young kids. He told us at the shower that she/the kids are "probably" not coming. We're like, um there is no "probably." You need to talk to her and give us a firm answer. Period. 
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  • hedgehogmadhatterhedgehogmadhatter
    10 Comments
    Don't be afraid to push the issue! Head counts are VITAL to the wedding. My uncle, aunt and two cousins decided to SURPRISE me and just show up at the wedding. They live far away and i would be thrilled to see them. However if another person hadn't called me to give me a heads up, they would have no place to sit at the wedding! No one wanted to tell me for sure my aunt and uncle were coming but I had to push the issue so I'd have enough tables and chairs.
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  • justad0remejustad0reme member
    100 Comments
    edited April 2012
    I would talk to the venue...we had this question too and our coordinator said that if one or two extra individuals who we were not expecting show up on the day off the wedding that they will arrange it and we would not have to worry about it, she even said that I probably wouldn't notice.  She also told us that even though we give them the headcount 2 weeks prior to the wedding day that if there were any changes that we know of the day before the wedding we can always let them know and they will arrange it.  For us 2 unexpected guests are pretty much free but we would get a bill if there 4 or more guest. 

    I have one cousin who is trying to get off from work (he lives in CO) and his time off hasn't been approved yet.  He told me he would let me know as soon as he found out.  I was stressing about this but after I talked to my coordinator, I no longer care...if he tells me last minute I'll be happy and just inform the venue.
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  • cdbishopcdbishop member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited April 2012
    I agree that I would have FI call and talk to his brother about this and what you need. 
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  • pattib5pattib5 member
    100 Comments
    Push your FI's brother for a firm answer. If he still can't/won't give you one, I think the only thing you can do is just assume she's coming. It would suck to have to eat the cost for her meal, but I think in the long run it's worth it to not stress if you have enough seats/food/whatever.
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