E curious (XP)

acaponi87 · January 2012

There was a post on E today that surprised me a bit..I've lurked over there for a pretty long time and occassionally post and this hadn't come up yet.

Apparently it's a big no-no to have a tip jar on the bar?

I've seen this at EVERY wedding I've been to. I asked FI, and it's the same for him. Am I in the minority here? Or is this a regional thing? Or do I just have really "tacky" friends/family? lol

Thoughts!

BrooklynNovia · January 2012

I believe it's up to the host to tip vendors, not my guests. If my friend hired a clown, for example, for her daughter's birthday party, I wouldn't expect to tip him. I think the same applies to wedding vendors.

Olliee1607 · January 2012

a lot of these things are regional. I would do whatever the norm is for your area

Shanee18 · January 2012

Whatever is the norm for your social group is what you should do. I am in your boat, and always see them at weddings.

I think of etiquette as being the prim and proper of everything wedding. While I would never want to offend my guests, I know that given our experiences, they will expect the tip jar. I wouldn't stress yourself out over this!

acaponi87 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_e-curious-xp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8b4e560e-a440-4511-99d2-1d95d2f1abe2Post:e2f6ab05-bee2-45eb-9451-e65345ea2c6d">Re: E curious (XP)</a>:
[QUOTE]Whatever is the norm for your social group is what you should do. I am in your boat, and always see them at weddings. I think of etiquette as being the prim and proper of everything wedding. While I would never want to offend my guests, I know that given our experiences, they will expect the tip jar. I wouldn't stress yourself out over this!
Posted by Shanee18[/QUOTE]

I'm not stressing just curious! It had never crossed my mind that it wasn't acceptable. I guess I've always assumed that the hosts tip as well and you aren't required to tip, but it's there if you want. FI and I will usually put in like $10 bucks when we get our first drink and we get very generous pours the rest of the night lol. Like you said, people expect it in our circle. We all make sure we have some smaller bills before we go. I guess I'd be more uncomfortable not tipping.

Carebear62584 · January 2012

As someone who bartends at one of the most popular wedding resorts in the state I will give my input as to how it works at my place. Bartenders are included in the total gratuity but most people don't know that. Our managers do not like us to put a tip jar on our bar unless the bride or groom decides to put it there. We are allowed to accept tips unless told otherwise, but we are advised to only keep a few dollars on the bar. By doing this people can see that it's accepted, but they don't ever know how much we are making and there's less chance that someone can snatch it which has been done before. We usually keep a little tip jar or pile of cash under the bar near the glasses and ice well where guests cannot see it. At the end of the night bartenders also have to tip out the barback who runs his butt off getting whatever we need....ice, glasses, more liquor, garbage or bottles taken out, fruit, helping to set up the bar, cover breaks, etc. The barbacks do most of the labor intensive work (I always play the "I'm a girl and I'm weak card but that's besides the point). If the bartenders aren't tipped, the barbacks only get thieir hourly wage and aren't included in the total gratuity.

melntaitt · January 2012

I don't see a problem with it personally; our parents plan to tip but we always have a tip jar at our local bar so it's not really a big deal to me.

I'm just leaving that at the discretion of the caterer and the crew.

Zimsgirl26 · January 2012

I won't be doing it since gratuity will already be added in

daria24 · January 2012

I think it often looks bad on the part of the bartender, rather than the host, since I assume the bartender put it there and not the b&g. And I know that gratuity is included (plus usually the b&g tip ON TOP of the required gratuity) so I think it makes the bartender look greedy.

MMRoberts11 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_e-curious-xp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8b4e560e-a440-4511-99d2-1d95d2f1abe2Post:27a1a141-8965-4125-bf78-7e2d9b547823">Re: E curious (XP)</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it often looks bad on the part of the bartender, rather than the host, since I assume the bartender put it there and not the b&g. And I know that gratuity is included (plus usually the b&g tip ON TOP of the required gratuity) so I think it makes the bartender look greedy.
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. I think most of the time when a tip jar is placed the B&G don't really know about it.
I think also though that many guests may not know that gratuity is included and will want to leave a tip if the bartender makes a good drink.

doeie04 · January 2012

It is the norm here. I think all the weddings I have been to had a tip jar.

CvilleClaire · January 2012

The tip jar on on the bar at my brothers wedding (SIL is from STL) got the side eye from those of us from the NYC area. There are definitely regional differences. If I host a party, I do not except my guests to bring money with them. Same hold true for our wedding. I'll tip the people I hire.

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