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Our date is 11/30 - is a 10/17 RSVP date to soon?

1lindarose1lindarose
First Comment
in November 2012 Weddings
Hi everyone! 

I haven’t posted in a while but today we’re officially 100 days out from our Wedding and it’s crunch time! J J So need some opinions on when to set the RSVP date for our November 30th wedding.  Our venue needs the final headcount by November 14.  To complicate things, we, unfortunately, have the dreaded “B List.” L  We’d like to have a little bit of a cushion period so that we could send out additional invitations, if need be.   What do you think about an October 17th  RSVP Date?  This would mean we’d need to mail them in the last week of September to give people three weeks to respond.   The timing is ideal for us, but is it an inconvenience for our guest to have to respond this soon?   I know it goes against etiquette to send them more than a month out, but I’d like to get some real world opinions.
Thanks!
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Re: Our date is 11/30 - is a 10/17 RSVP date to soon?

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    amymaysaamymaysa
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I think that's a little too soon. And you seem to already know this, but I would skip the b list.
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    harr0610harr0610
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Ours is more than a month out but I can't help it, really.

    We are having a destination wedding w/ a at home reception (just a party really...we're not calling it a reception or doing anything wedding-y, and my actual wedding is immediate family only). The party date is 11/16.  Our caterer needs our headcount 2 weeks before. Well, we leave for the wedding on 10/30.  I wanted a 2 week cushion to allow us time to call people, and therefore our rsvp date is early October. I am planning on having invites out by September 1st to give people a full month to respond.

    I agree though, no b-list.
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    Leenie10Leenie10 member
    First Comment
    Hi- we are choosing to send ours out between 7-8 weeks prior to our Nov.10th wedding.

    In my  opinion, I think the Oct.17th date is too early, given that your wedding date is the week after a major holiday & people may not know for sure that far out whether they can accept your invitation. Just my 2 cents.
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    lls31lls31 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited August 2012
    For a November 14th deadline with your venue, I would make your RSVP date October 31st.

    Our venue needs the final counts 2 weeks before our wedding, so we made the RSVP date 4 weeks before.  We wanted to give ourselves 2 weeks to allow for late RSVPs and to call any guests who may not have responded.

    You really wouldn't need to send your invites until the first week of October.
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    petitmonstreepetitmonstree
    First Comment
    Our RSVP date is September 20th due to the fact that our reception venue and baker needs a head count 1 month prior and that gives us time to get in contact with any stragglers which is why we sent them out a little earlier than normal.
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    Miss_2010Miss_2010
    First Comment
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2012-weddings_our-date-is-1130-is-a-1017-rsvp-date-to-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:46c2f53c-680c-4532-aa96-4cca92890b59Discussion:c1610f7f-adf3-4cfb-b7f4-cbc320570004Post:88ed0282-edee-4a21-be41-216f4aa48285">Re: Our date is 11/30 - is a 10/17 RSVP date to soon?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Our RSVP date is September 20th due to the fact that our reception venue and baker needs a head count 1 month prior and that gives us time to get in contact with any stragglers which is why we sent them out a little earlier than normal.
    Posted by petitmonstree[/QUOTE]

    I thought I was the only one with a ridiculously early due date for a headcount!  Not like its a busy time of year for weddings!  Ours wants it Oct 17, 1 month out. But they *may* allow a 3 week headcount depending on how busy they are with Christmas bookings/parties (which apparently start in November, much to my surprise).  I actually had to tell them no Christmas decor for nov 17th <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />
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    stephie25stephie25 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Ditto on most of the PPs. We need to give a final count 2 weeks prior to our 11/24 wedding, and we need time to round up the stragglers so we have an RSVP date of 11/1 per the venue's request. We will send out invites the about a week earlier than normal so people have time to book a hotel room over Thanksgiving weekend. 

    I think 10/17 is too soon for an RSVP date. 
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    1lindarose1lindarose
    First Comment
     
    Thanks for your opinions everyone! :-)
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    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2012-weddings_our-date-is-1130-is-a-1017-rsvp-date-to-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:46c2f53c-680c-4532-aa96-4cca92890b59Discussion:c1610f7f-adf3-4cfb-b7f4-cbc320570004Post:3d48853a-05ab-4195-bad8-d4197489e4de">Our date is 11/30 - is a 10/17 RSVP date to soon?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi everyone!   I haven’t posted in a while but today we’re officially 100 days out from our Wedding and it’s crunch time! J J   So need some opinions on when to set the RSVP date for our November 30 th wedding.   Our venue needs the final headcount by November 14.   To complicate things, we, unfortunately, have the dreaded “B List.” L   We’d like to have a little bit of a cushion period so that we could send out additional invitations, if need be.     What do you think about an October 17 th   RSVP Date?   This would mean we’d need to mail them in the last week of September to give people three weeks to respond.    The timing is ideal for us, but is it an inconvenience for our guest to have to respond this soon?     I know it goes against etiquette to send them more than a month out, but I’d like to get some real world opinions. Thanks!
    Posted by 1lindarose[/QUOTE]

    Over 6 weeks is way too early of an RSVP.  You should never have a B list.....eliminate this and your problem is solved.
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    irishangel0413irishangel0413 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited August 2012
    Honestly I think it depends on your situation.  Our wedding is 11/24 but we need to have a final count to the venue by 10/24 so in order to give us time to round up stragglers, we have an RSVP date of 10/13. Also, I am putting my invitations together next weekend and mailing them out the first week of September because the wedding is Thanksgiving weekend.  I sent out save the dates in December of last year to give most people ample notice trying to be considerate of the holiday weekend. We also have a lot of friends that work shift work whose schedules and requests for time off need to be put in 2 months or better in advance so we want to make sure everyone has enough time to do what they need to.  I don't think there is a right or wrong answer ~ do what you are comfortable with. Good luck!

     

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    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2012-weddings_our-date-is-1130-is-a-1017-rsvp-date-to-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:46c2f53c-680c-4532-aa96-4cca92890b59Discussion:c1610f7f-adf3-4cfb-b7f4-cbc320570004Post:922a9757-b4b9-41ac-9a94-521ddab86b4a">Re: Our date is 11/30 - is a 10/17 RSVP date to soon?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly I think it depends on your situation.  Our wedding is 11/24 but we need to have a final count to the venue by 10/24 so in order to give us time to round up stragglers, we have an RSVP date of 10/13. Also, I am putting my invitations together next weekend and mailing them out the first week of September because the wedding is Thanksgiving weekend.  I sent out save the dates in December of last year to give most people ample notice trying to be considerate of the holiday weekend. We also have a lot of friends that work shift work whose schedules and requests for time off need to be put in 2 months or better in advance so we want to make sure everyone has enough time to do what they need to.  I don't think there is a right or wrong answer ~ do what you are comfortable with. Good luck!
    Posted by irishangel0413[/QUOTE]

    Why does the venue need a headcount a month in advance?  That's very early! 
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    irishangel0413irishangel0413 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    It's standard for them. We have been to two other weddings for friends/family there over the last two years and each had to do the same thing we are, RSVP date of 6 weeks out.

     

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    lacey3eblacey3eb
    First Comment
    An RSVP date that early screams b list which is rude. Ours is 11/2 for our 11/17 date. Our caterer only requires 1 week so we gave ourselves a week to nail down the stragglers. If my caterer told me they needed a full month I would ask them if they can compromise and do 2 weeks out bc a month is ridic.
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    rsaleh84rsaleh84
    First Comment

    Our RSVP's are due one month from our wedding day.  Since our final numbers are due 2 weeks before the wedding, 4 weeks out seems fairly reasonable. 

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