shaking with rage...

Starmusica · July 2010

so yesterday the unthinkable (at this point in our lives) happened- my FH was laid off as part of a MASS layoff at his office. Its horrible and stressful and propounding the issue is that our wedding is in two weeks. Yesterday was probably one of the worst we've experienced due to the pure shock of it. However- he's amazing and has already followed up on 10 great leads and met with recruiters. Obviously this is A HUGE blow to anyone, but add in our wedding and the fact that I am in law school and we have a mortgage.. its... horrifying.

That aside... his own parents wouldnt pick up their phone yesterday and when he did hear from them.. it was a 5 minute phone call in which his mom basically said life sucks, u'll be fine sorry. The thing is- we werent asking for HELP, just support. He wanted to TALK to his parents and just commiserate about how the timing sucks. My own parents called several times to see how we were and even offered to bring over dinner. We didn't accept but their SHOW of support was a huge boost for him. I want to smack his mother. How could parents not give a damn like that?

She was just texting me about something FH was supposed to send her yesterday and twice I responded he was a little preoccupied and upset and she had NO comment recognizing that fact.

I am sitting at my desk shaking. I feel HORRIBLE for him. I have every faith he will bounce back but I am SO upset on his behalf and I know he is hurt by their actions.

edit: for the record i was a little iffy on posting about his job. it feels very personal... but i cant stand his parents right now and had to share with someone

thanks ladies.

goheels05 · July 2010

Sorry Star.

I can see why you are stressed. Yay for some good leads though!

Starmusica · July 2010

if it were any other time i think we'd be obviously upset but much more ok. I ahve every faith in the world in him. I just want to bitch slap his parents. He's trying to act like he doesnt care that they don't seem to give a damn but he does. They are actually very close.

MarriedInAFever · July 2010

Ack! I'm so sorry!

kd.joseph · July 2010

I'm so sorry you and your FI are going through this right now. And as far as his parents are concerned, they suck.

Really I understand the whole being enraged when someone wrongs your SO, I have been there. Just be there for him,as I know you will. And good luck. He is eligible for UE to hold you over isnt he?

Starmusica · July 2010

he is! and he got a decent severance package. We will be ok for now. He's very very good at what he does and his own boss (who had no say in layoffs) has already recommended him for a few jobs. I am actually proud of him. I work up the street and met him as soon as it happened and we headed home. we weren't even on the train and he was on the phone with recruiters. his parents on the other hand.. disgusted.

MeaghanandMichael · July 2010

Wow Star I am soso sorry this happened to you. I feel your anger on the MIL front and I have no idea why some people are so blase. It is almost like she assumes you will be looking for financial help so shuts down before an adult conversation can be had. Maybe after things have cooled a bit, you can talk to her privately and calmly about reaching out to FI. Even if she doesn't, she can at least have some sense thrown at her.

Starmusica · July 2010

Thakns M&M. he'd take a job on the corner before asking for $$. He just wanted their support. I guess I am spoiled. Even at 25 my parents would talk to me any hour of the day or night and be there for me. Not with $$ but with love. His... love him, unquestionably.. but their ability to provide emotional support sucks.

I think after the wedding I may just have to say something. I know I am just focusing on this so I don't have to focus on the real problem- the layoff. buhhhh.

andyandhillary · July 2010

What a couple of wenches! I'm so sorry about your FI's job but it sounds like with the exception of his parents (very unfortuante) he has a great support system.

Knottie1435582995 · July 2010

I'm so sorry Star! That is horrible, but I'm so glad to hear that he has leads.

I know how stressful law school is to begin with, and then to have to deal with this. It must be horrible. I know how hard it was living for 8 months on my salary alone when DH couldn't get a job after the barzam, the student loan payments were killer.

I think it's absolutely horrible that his mother would react that way. What mother doesn't just want to hug their child and make them feel better when something bad happens? I'd be shaking in rage as well. Terrible. It's really great that your parents are there for him though, I'm sure that's a testiment to his character!

Starmusica · July 2010

thanks so much guys. He definitely has great friends and my own family would do anything for him. :-/ I'll let you know how things turn out.

As for the wedding... we didn't get insurance on it and everything is paid in full.. so we are going to go ahead with all of our original plans and just enjoy it as best we can. We MAY cancel the honeymoon (trip insurance) but we still have a little time to see what happens... I dont care if we cancel every extra detail at this point. the marriage, not the wedding, is the important part.

Meg1979 · July 2010

I have been there before with my FI's layoff. It's great that he has so many leads. The more smoozing the better (not that your FI's smoozy, but you know what I mean). Just try to keep putting the resumes out there and hopefully you'll get an offer soon. ((hugs))

SarahPLiz · July 2010

PP's have said it all, but I am really really sorry this is happenning to you and your FI.

Starmusica · July 2010

thanks guys. I hope I didnt come off as looking for sympathy... I more wanted to share what a monster in law I have. I've spent my afternoon thinking up creative mean names for her in my head. sad really lol.

scoetto · July 2010

Sorry to hear! Yes, it's understandably a very stressful time. I was laid off last Oct and was shocked with how unsupportive J's mom was. She still makes snide comments about how she wishes she didn't have to work. It's so ridiculous. That's just the way some people are. And it's sad.

Good luck and hopefully he finds something fast!

[Deleted User] · July 2010

That sucks about the job, I'm sorry. But that's great about the leads, hopefully something will come of them. My stepdad is in the same boat right now.

Sucks even more about his parents. Some people are like that, don't know how or care to be supportive. Hopefully he won't take it too personally since you already have enough on your plates. Good luck on the job search!

[Deleted User] · July 2010

I'm so sorry about the layoff. That's so scary. And what a horrible time for this to happen. Are the providing any type of outplacement assistance?

Starmusica · July 2010

None at all. In fact- they are attempting some sort of noncompete in his severance package. asses. Lay him off and limit his options. I am a law clerk for an employment firm.. I am having them review the severance package.

shaking with rage...

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