Community› Cultural Wedding Boards› South Asian Weddings
South Asian Weddings
New Discussion

One part of Indian weddings you don't like

SonaliPopSonaliPop member
500 Comments
in South Asian Weddings
So, what's the one tradition or part of Indian weddings you can't stand?

For me...
1. When your wedding reception looks like someone's talent show.
2. The tradition of standing in the mandap and waiting for EVERY individual family to come take a photo with you.

We are doing neither.

If we had particularly skilled friends who could dance or sing, we'd have them in it. But so and so's child and her friends from dance class will not be doing a 'Rang De' version of their own.
Report Reply to Post

Re: One part of Indian weddings you don't like

  • HinajHinaj member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Sonali # 2, just not in a mandap, but the same stuff applies. 

    Every wedding I attended, an hour or more goes by where bride and groom are just taking pictures and the rest of the guests are just bored out of their mind.  We also decided we are not going to do that with everyone.  Its just too long. 

    I have also noticed that there are always guests who do not just look and follow the signs.  Like when there is a assigned seating/reserved table.  I just wonder if they choose to ignore this stuff. 

    I am sure there are more, but I gotta run.  Maybe I will post some later. LOL.
    Report Reply
  • jnsainijnsaini
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is a good one :)

    -yes def. dislike the extra long picture session with all the guests present, def. wont do that!
    -I have two friends(choreographers) dancing, which sort of are story/dance type things..so I am excited to see that, I think as long its 2-3 performances (5min max) its ok..
    -Haha, have to say not looking forward to dealing with inlaws that day, I think i will let my bridesmaids and groomsmen deal with them..I dont want to question answer on  the day

    We gotta do a what things we like topic too, will keep me motivated during this crazy time of planning...at this point my nights are sleepless, if I do sleep I have dreams of things I need to do..and I never thought I would be so into this stuff.
    -nicky
    Report Reply
  • Jeff and DeepthiJeff and Deepthi
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    - I agree with the picture one too.
    - And when people think the rules don't apply to them
    - I also don't like how no matter what people will find something wrong about your wedding to talk about. We always hate on eachother worse then others ever could.
    - This is experience from my sisters wedding, but there are always some family members that feel like they want to be important so they will try to run the show the day of the wedding!! I was soooo irritated with that and I hope my sisters just take care of them cause I dont' want to have to.
    Update 6/13/2010
    June 2011 SiggyChallenge: Wedding Cake
    image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • mrs.khanmrs.khan
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't like how people try to out-dress each other and when the ladies choose to wear heavily worked dresses and lots of jewelry so that they are competing with the bride. 
    Report Reply
  • kavita85kavita85 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I honestly don't like how Indian weddings are usually so huge. I dislike the idea that I am not going to know the vast majority of the people at my wedding. I envy those who are having small weddings and wish I could celebrate with just family and my close friends! Btw, I hope I am not offending anyone who had/wants a huge wedding. It just doesn't fit me at all.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • jnsainijnsaini
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with you Kavita, a lot of ppl are invited to our ceremony but thank god my parents were reasonable about lettting me cut the guestlist down for the reception-150 ppl all close friends and fam that I will know. I feel comfortable with that.
    Report Reply
  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    AGREED, Kavita. I don't want to look around from the Mandap and wonder "Who IS that person? Or her? Or THEM?"...I don't want my wedding to be a free for all, either.

    It's sad because Indians want so badly not to offend anyone. My cousin and his wife had keep their wedding 'small' at 400 people. They had to FIGHT to do that.

    If you look around and someone says, "Oh! I haven't seen you since you were THIS small"...they should not be at your wedding.

    That reaaaaaaaaaallllllly upsets me.

    OR, inviting the aunty and uncle who your parents can't stand because you "have to". I can't stand them, anyway! Why do they need to be there?
    Report Reply
  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ooo! I remembered another one!

    I HATE the tradition of, upon reaching your in laws house, having to 'show' what your parents sent with you - your trousseau. I think it's inappropriate and it almost says, "My parents love me THIS much"...I prefer to keep those things private. If my sisters in law and Mother in law want to see, great. I am all for it. But my parents gifts to me are not to be displayed to anyone...it's a personal thing. I do not care if  my parents give me a ton of choices and outfits and spend a ton of money or they spend a modest amount. I consider it a more personal thing.
    Report Reply
  • HinajHinaj member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sonali you are so right!!!

    I didn't even know we were suppose to do that, I told my FI he must have gotten the tradition wrong.  That just seem so wrong, but I asked my mom and she said that's how it was and all  I could do was WTF?  Then I remembered when my cousin was getting ready they had a bedroom that held all of the bride's trousseau, and the guests were coming and looking at it like it was a museum piece or something that you walk by it.  That was exactly my thought that we love our daughter this much and we want you to see it for yourself. 

    Kavita - I am trying to keep the guest list under 200 and believe me  I had to force to cut my parent's guest list so much.  They had so many people I haven't seen since I was 10!!! I don't think I can recognize them aside from my super bad memory when it comes to people.  Believe me, I don't get along with my cousins, if I could cut that whole family out, I would have done so if my dad was okay with it.  I was willing to marry out of state/country if it meant avoiding them on my wedding.  These are just people who are vicious and can't be happy when they see someone else happy and have to ruin it.  Why would I want people who would probably wish me ill on my wedding day?  But I guess we do it for our parents. 
    Report Reply
  • DR800DR800
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    People talking during the ceremony! There's time to socialize before and after the wedding and all through the reception- is it too much to ask people to sit quietly for half an hour? If anyone has thought of a polite way to let guests know you want them to be quiet, feel free to pass it on!
    Report Reply
  • kavita85kavita85 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agreed! At my cousin's wedding, my aunt interrupted the officiant a few times to ask him questions DURING the ceremony. Meanwhile, everyone else was chatting away in the audience. I brought up this concern to my officiant, and he said he knows it's a problem and ensured me he would be able to keep the guests quiet.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • kavita85kavita85 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh, and I'm glad to hear other people's parents are reasonable about the size of the guest list. My parents made little compromise with me about this issue. And funny thing, Sonali, my mom just informed me she said yes to another dance performance by my cousins...three's not so bad, right?

    Seriously though, as much as I complain, I always hear from other people that they think Indian weddings are a blast, so it can't be all bad. However, if I have a daughter, I will definitely let her have more control when she gets married!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • SHIRLEYANDNEERAVSHIRLEYANDNEERAV member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You guys all sound just like everyother culture. Im Hispanic and marrying an Indian guy. Ive been to 6 huge Indian weddings, smallest one was 400. I loved each one of them. On the contrary to how you guys all feel about your weddings, they are beautiful and so much fun.
    But I do agree with the talking during the ceremony. Since Im Christian and asked my fiance about why its not rude to talk during your ceremonies. He said, its just always relaxed. But I would really like guests to be curteous and not chat during our ceremony especially since my entire side will find that as odd, since traditionally you are quiet at a church.
    Pictures after ceremony: I never realized that was so long. Since friends usually step out for lunch or hangout.
    thats just my .02
    Happy to be Engaged
    Report Reply
  • SHIRLEYANDNEERAVSHIRLEYANDNEERAV member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    oh and I also found the "talent show" stuff so cool. I never thought that was weird, it makes it fun and entertaining.
    Happy to be Engaged
    Report Reply
  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, but for some of us...we see it everywhere, at every wedding. And your Mom's friends daughter's daughter who is 9 and doing Jazz and Tap isn't REALLY that good of a dancer...I know it makes me sound awful, but it's my wedding day, not Sa Re Ga Ma Pa or Little Champs or Star Search: India. If they're accomplished dancers who happen to be my loved ones, I can't hate on it!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards